Titleless.

Settling in to our new routine this week slowly but surely. Gavin seems to be adjusting just as I knew he would. School is hard. Sending them to school is so very important and the decision was a no brainer. The idea of homeschooling has rolled around in my head more times than I can count but always ending with the same conclusion. I am 99% positive it's just not in the cards for me/us. My fuse when it comes to structured education time with my kiddo's seems to be much shorter than it should be, therefore teaching to read and add and all of the basics just isn't something I am cut out for. So off to school they go. Jakeb comes home most days proclaiming an AWESOME day and that is enough for me to know we are making the right decision. However that doesn't mean from time to time I wonder. Especially when tears are being shed.

But we started our Friday off right and got up early and everyone off to school--I even remembered ice cream money! So the routine is slowly rolling in and it's so very welcome because I am so a creature of habit.

I spent all day Wednesday painting Nolan's dresser and it's just not the right color. As Robert said it makes his room look easter eggish. So back to the store I go for more (darker) paint. His crib showed up as promised much to my surprise--thanks to horrid reviews of the website we ordered from. While it wasn't the smoothest transaction out there the crib is here and looks fantastic all set up in his easter room. The fact that there is a baby room still blows my mind...

But also my heart still longs, aches, and loves the child(ren) we are bringing home from Colombia. We are still working on the last touches for the addendum we need and waiting to get this in is so frustrating because there are so many very conflicting emotions. I haven't forgotten but have I? No, no I haven't. But the busyness of life is distracting and that is hard. I am longing to have everyone home here where they (all of our children) belong. But the waiting is so hard and knowing that while we are loving on this brand new baby and being completely smitten with all that he is, our other child is also waiting and is hard to know too. Life is happening though and it's wonderful. So we wait and we love and we wait some more and I try to know that everything will work out as it should in the time it should.

In the meantime there's this ...

The crib...looking mighty cute and inviting.

Me less cute and less inviting at 26 1/2 weeks.

An actual update...

This one being adoption related. We just got off a nice little conference call with our new caseworker with our agency. There is good news, decent news, frustrating news, but essentially no bad news.

Many have asked if we are continuing with the adoption now that we are pregnant...presumably the reason why we began the adoption to begin with. Presumably because well I said it was...it just wasn't the only reason. Here is how I look at this whole picture...this baby is a surprise the adoption wasn't. This baby is very much wanted and longed for...for a long time. The adoption did change that some but this baby doesn't change things with the adoption. Both (all) children were dreamt about and longed for--I can't imagine changing my mind about them--whether I birth them or not. I had dreams about little darked haired cuties from Col*mbia just as much as I have dreamt about holding a brand new baby girl in my arms. I dreamt them because they were in my heart already and that hasn't changed.

So on to the update....our new caseworker broke everything down for us and how things will play out over the next bit. Once the baby is born we will update all of our paperwork and then we will notify C*lombia of the changes. At that point our dossier will go on hold for 1 year. When it goes on hold this does not restart our approval date--that would remain the same--which was my biggest question. The year will suck, but is necessary and I know that and I am honestly glad it's enforced. From the date of approval it is just waiting--then it goes on hold--more waiting--then off of hold in November 2012 and then more waiting but we don't necessarily loose our "spot in line". We would not be referred any children during the 1 year time but will not have to restart our waiting once we come off of hold.

Our dossier is NOT currently approved. However apparently back in APRIL (yes this is the frustrating news) our previous caseworker received a request for additional information regarding some of our paperwork. I honestly expected this...our psychological report while nicely written was not thorough enough. Specifically when it came to discussing our reasons for wanting to adopt more specifically from Col*mbia. So had we received that information 2 MONTHS ago our dossier likely would have been approved already. Unfortunately we didn't and we will now need to rush to get this update. Our psychologist was not the friendliest so this will be frustrating. Ho hum, par for the course...we should expect a few bumps!

Basically that is the run down of what we can expect.

Some updates.

I haven't said much about the adoption lately...mostly because there really is nothing much to say. We are still waiting on our approval from Col*mbia. We found out this past week that our program director is leaving the agency effective immediatly along with all the other people that work directly with him in Col*mbia. This is a bit alarming and we aren't sure what this means for us...if anything.

Knowing that every bit of the adoption is essentially put on the back burner right now is hard for my "mommy guilt". I know we have no choice and that for everyone it really is better but it doesn't make it easy. This adds to the inner turmoil I feel over being pregnant again...on one hand I am excited (very excited) and on the other kicking myself and feeling guilty for having to put our other child(ren) on hold. It does drag this process out quite a while. However with the way movement is going on Col*mbia it doesn't look like it was going to happen quickly to begin with.

I had my 14 week appt today. Everything sounds great....I have a doppler at home and this baby is a wild one. I can listen to it's heartbeat anytime I would like and oh my goodness...he/she is quite the wiggler. I go back again in 5 weeks (we will be on vacation the 4th week) and we will have our official anatomy scan and will officially find out what baby is provided he/she cooperates. I also get to do the gestational diabetes test early this go round since Zman was quite a large chunky monkey at birth. Works for me. Really can't believe we are at the second trimester already....or even discussing trimesters at all.

Cha-ching

Something that seems to come up quite frequently when we mention that we are adopting is the cost. It's really no secret that the cost of adopting isn't low. Any quick search will give you some rough estimates of what one can expect to spend to bring a new child home.

Though aside from birthing your child at home I am fairly certain that one spends roughly the same amount having a child. What is unfortunate is that insurance does not cover adoption. Though being that the end result is the same it makes sense that maybe it should. When Jakeb was born I requested an itemized copy of the bill from the hospital--I just wanted it for reminiscing and giggling at the cost of things "back in the day". I don't remember the exact amount but it wasn't little. Also when Zachary was hospitalized a few years ago that bill was well over what we will spend to bring a new child or 2 home. Either way the fact remains that I would spend 20 grand a DAY on each child of mine if I had to.

That being said I get the concern and the questioning--but now that we are in process it's different. So for those wondering--we would have never started this process if we didn't have at least a general plan of how we would see it through. We have been very fortunate this past year and this is what we have chosen to do. In addition to paying off debt and getting in a better financial spot we are very eager to have another child or children in our lives. Very eager. We know the ramifications of having a larger family--as best we can at this point. We know that means more mouths to feed and cloth and educate. But every single bit of that is worth what we will have, what all of our children will have. Compassion, love, understanding, acceptance, and the list goes on and on. I think about it and all I can come up with is. Wow. Wow. I know it won't be picture perfect and I know that there will be ups and downs but I know we will do our very best.

So please if you know us, don't doubt us. Don't doubt our ability to love or our ability to afford this. Just know we are doing it and we will do it to the best of our ability. And we need your support and your love. Not your doubt. Check that at the door. And if you can't....well that's your loss really. Just keep it to yourself if you don't mind. Love us and love our children all of them. You won't be sorry I promise. They are fabulous...even the ones that aren't here yet. I just know it. With every fiber of my being I know this is right. It's right for us.

Sick of Sick

As I previously reported we were down with the sickness for a wee bit too long over our winter break. Robert and I did manage to scoot past the flu bug that took out the boys for a week. Whew.

Now we are all sitting pretty with colds....while on one hand I am thankful it's just a cold. No fevers or other horrid symptoms. And I am doing a odd happy dance that Gavin is managing to hang onto just a cold without busting out the heavy duty breathing aid artillery. This is good. This combo of meds works...and I see it working. This is good.

However...I am pretty sick of the snot drip going on with the entire family.

Yesterday I complained that I managed to somehow injure my neck, when I woke up this morning with it hurting worse...I decided I probably didn't hurt it. Combined with the weird swallowing pain and the feeling that my neck hurt because my head was on it. And maybe my back hurt because it was supporting my neck which was supporting my head. I decided it was probably a good idea to head on up to the ole doc. Red swollen sore throat+swollen glands+snot for too long+overall feeling of crappy= a round of antibiotics. And a hope that the feeling of yuck that I have felt for the past 2 weeks will be gone. Just in time for the Zman's birthday date on Friday. Now let's hope no one else needs to make the trek--so far they all seem to be hanging in there....but good lawd it's supposed to snow tonight. I am really only down with the white stuff for about 2 decent snows. This year we have had enough...I am good thanks.

Honestly I am a smidgen (ok a lot) bummed that we will be needing to wait probably a month or more (or less) before we are able to submit our dossier to the powers that be in Colombia. Thru no fault of anyones it's just the timing of our dossier along with others that are out there too. I am anxious about all of it--obviously and reasonably so. My friend called the other day and we chatted for a bit about it and she was so awesomely supportive and excited and it was so needed. Not that people aren't because they are--but it's nice to hear the extra excitement she had. I told Robert the other day that this is the hardest thing I *we* have ever done....it's one of the best and most rewarding but the waiting and the unknowns are really hard for me. Finding the patience and trust and faith that everything will be as it should and will be just fine....is hard but also a wonderful bonus for me. It's opening things for me and in me and us that I didn't really foresee when we started this process and what a neat thing it is. Seeing how things are weaving together with this is amazing. It makes the waiting a little bit easier--just a little. But I still can't wait to hug on our newest little ones....oh I can't wait.

Approval!

Found out that our I800A was approved this morning!! Now let's see how fast we get our letter in the mail, we need that in hand before anything is sent.

Big step! This means everything that is handled state side is D-O-N-E. That is until it's time to renew everything....

ETA: We just got an email that we need to have our medical forms redone per a new form in Colombia. Not cool. One big step forward, one small step back. Par for the course!

ETA again: Our forms do NOT need to be redone. We are good to go! :)

Ho Hum Week.

A funky week it has been here, no one is quite sure what to do with themselves. I am 97% positive the boys will be back at school tomorrow. Despite their protesting they are 97% better--fevers have been gone for well over the 24 hour period. Having them home for nearly 3 weeks made me realize I need to get some ideas rolling around for summer--yikes. Zachary has blossomed into quite the ahem, busy child. And will need activity or we will both go loco.

I wandered around yesterday trying to find a substantial activity to do with no real success. I did move some things around in the boys rooms and cleaned out the guest room closet--but really that took no time. I played a couple games on the Wii with the kiddies and a couple board games. Tossed a couple loads of laundry in the wash--which now need to be folded. Folding laundry is my most loathed chore. It used to be mopping but I got a new Shark Steam Mop dealio for Christmas and I heart that very much. Mopping made easy. And really mopping is over rated, IMO anyway. Especially now that I don't have babies crawling around on the floor. I do vacuum often because I loathe finding dog and cat hair all over. Yuck! All that other cleaning, whatev. I am so not stressing it. I used to stress over every last "chore" getting done by X day but oh goodness I have a million and ten better things to stress over. Now don't get me wrong I will flip my lid if my counters are piled with junk for more than 24hrs. And piddly little trinkets all over the floor no can do buckeroo. Not only unsightly but eesh! stepping on it no bueno!!

Well Robert just walked in with a eensy container of the BEST ICE CREAM EVER. ¡Adios!

Boo

Scare me scare you. (my grandfather used to say that all the time when I was little) Still around just busy busy. The boys are out of school for the year. I love the end of the year and all the "I'll see you next year" funnies. We are ready up for Christmas and are looking forward to the first year to host Christmas at home. Everyone is coming to us instead of us romping all over dragging kids and gifts and exhaustion.

Poor Gavin is sick with a stomach bug and I am crossing my fingers and praying that it doesn't make rounds. He's never had one quite this bad before and he's quite pitiful.

We had friends in town the first part of the week and I was back in TN over the weekend to hang out with my mom for her birthday.

I wrapped up the last of my Christmas shopping last week with lots of online ordering--cold weather and crowds didn't sound appealing so I opted for convenience this year. Which is so my middle name these days. I am super pleased with our Christmas spending and am glad we kept things to a dull roar this year and so is the checking account.

Things are coming together with the adoption we have every document we need for our dossier--minus our I800A approval, which I am hoping for sometime in January. Next week we have our biometrics done and while we are in ATL doing that we plan to get everything apostilled and ready to go. We are now sitting back and going to work on our Spanish! Robert took 4 years of it in high school and I had 2 so we have a few basics--Robert more than I. I am now kicking myself for quitting the class in college all those years ago.

My mom will be on her way down in just a bit and will spend Christmas with us, then my dad for a day or two, and then Robert's parents will be here to celebrate and help us ring in 2011.

Merry Christmas! ¡Feliz Navidad!

Where we are.

Just a brief little update on how things are going with adoption paperwork. Basically it's going. I am hoping to have our I797C approval letter by the end of January. We received our second copy of our Psychological report this morning--believe it or not we aren't crazy. Whew. That's a relief. Getting this report is taking more time than I was told it would but we are getting there. Hopefully it won't need any more adjustments. It was pretty much too short so she was asked to lengthen it. Ho hum.

Friday I received our FBI clearance letters--no arrest records. Another relief. But knew that. And that's about it. Once I get my hands on the signed psych report I will be heading downtown for apostille's and then sending a completed dossier package to our agency, and will just be waiting on our approval letter from the US.

Things are calming down for me emotionally about it at the moment. Last week for whatever reason I got myself all worked up about the time frames and the unknowns. But right now I am ok. I imagine (knowing me) I will get myself all in a tizzy several times before this is all over with--but we will keep on truckin'! Everything is coming together slowly but surely.

ETA: We received our biometrics appt letters today!

Some things

to look at today...the boys finished rooms...I wish I could post a picture of the finished tree that looks fabulous but I can't because I haven't taken one. But the tree does indeed look fabulous. Until then...rooms...the dining room also. Which is the wonderful turquoise color also and looks mighty fine. I have a knack for piecing what we have together and making it look pretty ok and HomeGoods is my very favorite.

The wait is on

Our docs are now with our government folks waiting on approval. I expect to receive that sometime towards the end of Jan/beginning of Feb. Which is so not long and will be here before I know it....because with that is a soon to be 7 year old. Yikes. Not sure how that is possible--but here it is Mr. Zman is almost 7. Soon I will have a 9, 7, and a 5 year old. We are on our odd years this year....but holy crap that's one year away from 1-0. And less than a year away from all 3 boys in school. Again. Yikes.

One of the new challenges for me with the adoption is the inability to plan. Like I can't really buy much other than a mattress---or will I need 2? Or will I need the crib? I am mentally preparing for 2 twin mattresses--and at some point we will probably go ahead and buy those. But I can't buy clothes or toys or other furniture really. Because we could have 1 child, 1 boy and 1 girl, 2 girls, 2 boys. They could be anywhere from 6 months(not likely) to nearly 5. We are pretty much set for boy clothes well provided it's a 3 year old boy and it's summer....anything under that we don't have anymore. So if you know me this is like torture. I like to plan but mostly I like to shop...and I really love to shop for kiddo's and their clothes and room accessories. I have a few things I have glanced at for sure, but I have to stay far away from the dot com's...and at Christmas no less. Eek. Fingers crossed for my self control---though I don't think it will be too hard with us looking at such a potentially long time frame buying anything would just be silly especially with so many unknowns!

This weekend I trekked up to Nashville for a weekend chalked full of sessions...it was gorgeous weather and I had a nice little weekend alone. A busy one but full of successful sessions that I walked away from feeling great about, which is always nice. A nice little boost to the self confidence is always welcome! Plus the boysies missed me and that makes me feel extra special too :) Fantastic-ness.

Happy Dance

First off overnight shipping is amazing. That's some serious movement going on...package A picked up in Georgia approx 4:30 pm arrives in TX approx. 12:30 am, will be delivered to said location no later than 10:30am. I am impressed. It would take me a day if I drove it there myself, longer because I do need to sleep, eat, etc. And a day of it having personal one on one attention, this little package is traveling with hundreds of package friends. Again, I am impressed. And probably should lay off the coffee. Maybe.

Anyway. Final, notarized, and completed home study is, according to an unnamed carrier's website, waiting to be delivered to our agency by 10:30 this morning. Once that happens, it will be checked over and then stuffed right back into an envelope along with our I800A and our check and rushed on down/up/over to USCIS. Rock on with your bad self, this is a good thing. In roughly 60-90 days we will then receive our nice little approval--because duh what reason would they have to NOT approve it (*knock on wood* hoping I didn't jynx us right there). And then everything is off to C-o-l-O-m-b-i-a. Awesomeness. I know you are doing a happy dance too--no? Have a couple cups of coffee.

ETA: Package was signed for at 10:03 am. Wow.

ETA(again): Everything looked perfect, I800A was sent to USCIS Friday afternoon!

Rainy Monday Ramblings

It's a dreary rainy day here today. But something about these few and far between days is relaxing lately. The leaves all around here are absolutely gorgeous. Except those all over the yard that we spent all summer cleaning, sigh. The boys are vegging watching TV and relaxing, the animals are hovering around my desk...reminding me that they think I rock. And I am pretty sure they are very sorry for vomiting on the carpet at 4 in the morning. It happens, and because it did I took a little snooze with Gavin this afternoon all snuggled up in my comfy bed.

Today I wore my very first pair of skinny jeans and boots, the rainy day made for a good excuse--boots=no wet jeans. Score. Not sure how I feel about the look--it's cute on others, I am sure it's decent on me. Just call me Trendy. Or don't because I am so not. But I try, or something.

I goofed when I sent my paperwork to our agency last week and didn't sign one of the pages, so I need to send it again. Oops!

We finished painting the boys rooms this weekend, YAY for another completed project, and they look mighty fantastic. Eventually I will post some pictures--too dark today to take any.
I also started on the new kiddo's room, though not sure the main color just yet...all 3 kid's rooms have a brown accent wall, so I went ahead and did that. I think I will go with a shade of green on the other 3 walls. Not being able to plan is really hard for this hardcore planner. But you can bet your tooshie anything and everything I can do to prepare will be done. It's just what I do.

Thanksgiving Day head count is currently 17. Can't wait to host our first shindig in our new house. But holy crap how is it Thanksgiving already!

Basically that's all I got, I suppose.

One step closer

Our agency received our home study draft a little over a week ago. I was hoping to have it back this past week but our caseworker is actually in Colombia right now so that is slowing it down just a tad. Once they review it and ok it we will have a final copy and can officially send everything off to the US for approval.

I did send the I800A along with my check on Wednesday to our agency so once they get the official final Home Study report off it goes to the government!

Hoping to receive our approval sometime in February and then be sending our Dossier off sometime that month.

The month that Zachario turn S.E.V.E.N Wowzers.

Leaves of Change

But not really. Part of the reason I felt...feel confident in our decision to adopt and to adopt "now" is that I feel our family growing and improving and I know that now we are ready. I can't quite put it into words but there is a sense of calm and contentment here. I know Robert is feeling the same way...he doesn't have to say it, but I can tell. We are settling into our lives and it's comfortable in a very perfect way. Sure there are ups and downs and glitches along the way (thank you water heater for breaking...and thank you cat for needing surgery) but the comfort I feel with us, is lovely.

I imagine Robert being home has a good deal to do with this...and I can't think of a single reason to complain about that. Meals are being made regularly, kids are participating in activities, and house improvements are getting completed. Him being home every night is just awesome.

We have a larger-ish family and for some that just won't work but for us it does. Some days I wonder how, but yet everyday it does. I find myself nonchalantly shrugging my shoulders and mumbling to people that we are going to adopt. Most of the time I don't even mention that we are looking to adopt two children. I just can't handle the gasps, bulging eyes, and the "wow your crazy" comments. Not yet. People don't understand and I am working on my strength and confidence to tell them. Yes we will have 5 children, yes we understand what that means--as much as we can right now, yes we may struggle paying for college, no they won't be loved any less, no it won't take away from the 3 children we have now, yes they know and are so excited, and so are we.

When I look out my office window I see leaves scattered all over the yard, in our "Holly tree" is a branch from another tree an Oak I believe--it is stuck there, across the street is a perfectly colored orange and gold tree, and it's all so lovely watching them change and grow.

Colombia

Nothing new really to report on the adoption front. At this point we are just waiting on our completed home study so that we can submit our paper work to the US. Our I-800A--this is basically the form requesting permission from the United States to adopt a child from a foreign country...specifically a Hague Convention country, which Colombia is.

We had our Psych analysis done almost 2 weeks ago so we are waiting on the report from that. Just for the record that test is...well it's ridiculous...it's 560+ statements you answer True/False. One statement was "I like to repair latches." Yes latches...and that would be a false. We also on that same day had our FBI fingerprinting done and mailed it off the following day.

This weekend I spoke with the program director from Gladney. He was very nice and eager to help anyway he can. From here we wait. And I must pat myself on the back because my patience has been in check thus far....I imagine I will be singing a different tune a year from now though!

After we send off the I800A we wait for our approval and from there we can send off our Dossier to Colombia....and then we wait!

Robert bought us a book this past weekend about adoption so I have been reading thru it, learning some new things to help our children adjust once they are home. It's a slow read though--which I suppose is a good thing, since I have lots of time to read and prepare.

And so we wait....

Criminal

In 1999 I got busted at a bar in Murfreesboro for drinking...Do the math, I was 19. I was pretty stupid about it really because I saw the guy--knew he was an undercover cop and being the genius that I was I proceded to shove my unstamped hand in my pocket, pick up my beer, and walk right past him. "Can I see your id?" he asked. I responded with the usual "it's uh in the car.?" Problem was I was so obviously not 21 and I was obviously drinking. Duh. So I knew it was no use and gave it up in about 5 seconds. Two of my friends caught my eye and despite my head shaking and eyes that were clearly saying "stay away!!" they thought I needed rescuing from the old man who was so obviously hitting on me, except he wasn't and they got busted too. Oops. Thanks guys and um sorry.
Anyway fast forward 12 years almost to the day and we are working on adopting a foreign child. Yay us! Boo Rachel. Now this minor infraction won't hold up the adoption, I am not worried about that. But trying to track it down holy guacamole pinto's and beans! (I flippin' love Skippyjon Jones people) *I* being the honest, truthful person that I am (no really I am!) said to agency lady and home study lady..."Hey so way back in the day...I thought I was smart and cool and I drank and I got busted...and yeah...so is that an issue?" Issue? No, probably not. Buuttt you are going to have to get a record of it aaaannnd write out a "letter of remorse". Basically saying...sorry I drank 12 years ago and got busted and it didn't happen again.
But dang folks I feel like a straight up hardened criminal over this minor eensy weensy incident. Except I am not because I had traffic tickets that cost more and I didn't even get arrested and I barely had any alcohol in my system because let's face it I was 19 and I was drinking beer and basically I hated beer and was probably really only drinking it to be oh so cool. Except I really wasn't. And I really wish I could just bop on back to September 1999 and whisper into little Rachel's teenage head and say hey stupid..."Don't pick up that beer and walk by that guy, cus seriously what part of that sounds like it's intelligent" and maybe a few extra somethings like "stop being an idiot and go to class" and "cancel those damn credit cards!"
But basically I can't do that and I am pretty sure I am not a criminal--at least the lady at the sheriff's department didn't think so because she says I have no record. Duh. Yay Rachel.

(and maybe I would also tell little Rachel to lay off the french fries and sodas...damn skinny teenager.)

Lots to go

We finished gathering our first big bunch of papers for the adoption this past week(end). Giant sigh of relief on that. I am not kidding around about getting things done (well when I make the final decision to get something done)--so I have been on the ball. Even made little collage's of pictures that we will need for our Dossier that gets sent off to Colombia. I am not too clear on the length of time between now and when we are ready to submit our Dossier--which is the paperwork that goes to Colombia requesting to adopt a child from their country. I am guessing with the holidays and what not we should be submitting that around March give or take am month or so.

Our final home study visit is next weekend. Once that report is completed we will be submit our I-800 to the US. I-800 is the paperwork requesting to adopt a foreign child. While we wait for that approval we work on gathering all of our paperwork for the Colombian Dossier. We have some of it already but will need our home study and our psych eval. We are scheduled for that this Thursday. Then we have to send all of that off for final "approval" that they are legit documents--and then provided everything is looking good it's off to Colombia it goes!

So provided it all goes like I think it will we should be submitting sometime between Feb-April, and then we wait. Once we receive our approval from Colombia we are looking at roughly 2 years...but it could be 6 months, it could be 18 months, it could be 3 years...just depends. Either way I am so excited I can't hardly stand it. But I am and I will. Though, I can't wait to bring those 2 little sweet "babies" home. Our age bracket is 2 siblings ages 0-59 months...or newborn to almost 5. Yay and more yay. The kids are stoked and I wish it wasn't so long but it is and it gives us plenty of time to get our "ducks in a row" before becoming a family of s-e-v-e-n. Awesomeness.

3244541 days

Big things to consider when adopting are a) it takes a long time and b) it takes a lot of money and c) patience. So my personality is go, go let's get it done. This will be a challenge for me. We received our application before we went out of town, I filled out everything I could and now am just having to wait. Robert does not have a GA license yet and while it's probably not required, I am pretty sure it will be easier if he has a license in the same state in which we live. BUT he's out of town this week--we were out of town last week--so I have to wait before submitting the first portion to our agency. Waiting really is better because this will allow us more time to gather funds and learn as much about the process as possible. Though honestly I am on information overload at this point.

I can jump around a bit with the process but certain things have to be done in a certain order in a certain time frame. Complete pain but gotta follow rules. We have to have dr visits and blood work and tests assuring that we aren't crazy and basically a lot before our paperwork is even sent to Colombia--and then it's waiting and keeping papers up to date. But right now it's waiting but this waiting is waiting just to be able to get to the real waiting and I am antsy already. This is going to be a long 2-3 years.

We did have our first home study visit yesterday--all went well and now more papers to gather and fill out before the next!

Once we get a little further into the process I will post a little "timeline" on the side over there ---> At this point just waiting to submit our application to the agency and gathering what paperwork and information that I can.

True Story

I am all about "signs" and following your gut. Hence this adoption process starting. We created 3 little boys with pretty much zero effort. Plan for a 4th and bam--we have problems. Go to doctors, find a reason but no solution. Talk about what to do for years, with no progress. Discuss adoption but have fears and concerns and longings to be pregnant again. And bam we have a 11 month old for 3 weeks, it dawned on me while she was here that while SHE is not my child, I could easily adopt another child and love it like my own and some how overnight my longings to become pregnant vanished. Bam it hit me I have 3 healthy children and so very many children around the world have no one. We have more to give so why not give to them. So we decide to adopt. We decide on Colombia. We decide on 2 children--2 siblings. We say "We should learn Spanish..." Since Colombia is Spanish speaking it couldn't hurt to brush up on it. Last night Robert sat down and was writing Spanish words on post cards to put up around the house...I came into the office and grabbed one of our Spanish books from high school (yes some how this is the only book we have from high school classes). I plopped down on the couch with Robert and flip open the book and a receipt fell into my lap...weird. I picked it up and glance at it--just curious how old it is. Um the date you wonder? September 15th, 2008. It was just a gas station receipt--with the EXACT SAME date as the current date only 2 years earlier. Then another receipt falls out--same date. From one of our "fertility issue" appointments. September 15th--2 years to the day as yesterday. I handed it to Robert and sat there dumbfounded. Of all 365 days of the year it could be--it's the same date...it's in a Spanish book...and it is from a fertility doctor appt. You have GOT to be kidding me. Don't believe me....I took this this morning (didn't show the dr because we gotta have some privacy ;-) )...

Speechless? Me too.