Wordless Wednesday.

Ramblings on a Monday.

It's 9:10...I am sitting here waiting for pictures to load so I can send them on to my sister in law so she can prepare her Christmas cards...something I should have done already.  Nolan isn't really keen on my having "computer time" nor is he keen on napping sooo that limits things a bit.  Also by 8:30 when everyone is officially in bed and asleep all I want to do is snuggle into my warm covers and not talk or touch people or do anything for anyone and call it a night.  Most nights that's exactly what I do...except I don't sleep I just peruse the internet obsessing over all things adoption and then decide to stop doing that and read a book--2 pages in I can't keep my eyes open and that's that.
I haven't said much about the adoption because there just isn't much to say...we are now waiting.   And we need to wait but it's hard.  I bought a little ornament for our kiddo...the one we don't know yet...we don't know her age or her name or anything.  Not knowing is hard but knowing would probably be harder if we knew and still had to wait.  So now we wait...and soon we will know and will wait some more and I think my heart will break a million times then but it will be so worth it.   In the mean time I feel the crunch to "get our shit together" with all things saving and hello large family.  I still feel that we are a little family...when in fact we are not.  Even when the boys are crowded around me and chatting and talking and wow that's a lot of faces...but it's not.  I never look at them and think too many or this is a lot.  Life is a lot for sure...the kids are a lot for sure.  I walk around the house and think this is a lot...a lot to clean, a lot to do...but I never really feel like the kids are a lot of people at least not in the too many sort of way.  I am not sure if Robert thinks this way, probably not.  But then kids are my thing...they always have been.  Last week after Gavin's field trip I brought him and his friend home with me early from the trip as I was leaving I told a mom bye and that I had an extra today...her response was one I have heard so very many times "you always have an extra..." which is totally true.  Not as true as it used to be and I think I miss that...but then I come home to a messy house and I get frazzled because I can't keep up with it all.  When really it's not that bad and I have to remind myself that daily.  If I could justify a housekeeper I totally would...but right now all extra spending isn't happening.  And that is so totally extra.  I don't mop like I should and there is extra layers of dust on everything but the furniture...I have a hard time remembering to practice spelling words and read reading stories and practice piano and all the extra things I think "I want to do that!" But we are here and we are doing our thing and it's ok and it's our thing...everyday we do better but some days we do worse and that's all ok.  This little big family of mine...of ours.  We are doing pretty good, not perfect but pretty good.

Happy Friday.

Nothing great to say today but tired of looking at my gripey Christmas post...probably not always a wise idea to post when I am in a mood...though sometimes it just helps.  And while I still stand by my thoughts...it's a bit of a grumpy post eh?

How's about a few insta-Friday pics?  Yes Pictures are always nice.

The season of giving...

Every year at Christmas I get a little bitter.  Don't get me wrong I love Christmas...I do.  But in our society Christmas is...for lack of a better word greedy.  You can't turn on the TV or read a news article without being barraged with commercials and sales and "OMG you HAVE TO HAVE THIS!"  Or TV shows full of fancy clothes and houses most people can't afford.   Honestly it's part of the reason I don't watch TV much & I haven't turned on the TV to watch a show in weeks.  First off it's just not my thing, I find better ways (for me) to spend my time but the consumerism shoved in our faces is just too much.  And let's not even get me started on the pedestal we put "TV stars" on...but I digress.

The boys are going thru the lists of all the things they want...and I am running thru my lists of all the things I want to buy them and others...because it's fun to give and it's also fun to receive.  But when did a few moderate gifts at Christmas turn into hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars being spent at Christmas?  And for what?  I mean seriously...for what?  Most people's kids get things all year long...it's not as if Christmas gifts are left to be that special.  And honestly my kids are having a hard time coming up with a list of things they want--of things we can afford.  They want an Xbox, iPods, and over priced toys they are going to play with 7 times before they end up broken and in the bottom of the toy box.   And as I sit and try to narrow down what to get them and what is reasonable...I find myself again thinking Why?  Why do we do this every year.  For just STUFF.   And we are pretty reasonable with the gift giving...they get plenty but it's not insane.  Though I find myself trying to keep up so my precious angels don't feel left out when they go to school and find out that little Johnny got a go cart and an iPad for Christmas.  But on the flip side...because there is always that...there are children and families in our own country (forget others for now...because that's a favorite argument) that go hungry that have no roof over their heads...they certainly aren't pining for iPads and go carts.
While we rush around trying to get the best deals on...well on everything...while we go crazy trying to make sure our kids needs are met times a thousand.  Because god forbid they learn to want or need for anything....(and I am guilty of this too).  In every part of the world the balance is off...But how do we find the balance?  How do I not feel guilty buying a $5 cup of coffee because hello that's insane.  (and also something I now rarely do) How do we justify spending thousands on landscaping so our YARD looks pretty while others around the world are starving to death....again don't get me wrong I want our yard to be pretty (badly) but I refuse to spend a fortune getting it "pretty".  People have no problem dropping $100+ for a pair of jeans that makes "your ass look good" but can turn a blinds eye to an article about poor families and children--if you don't read it it doesn't affect you, right?  Easy to do...not me not my problem.  Fortunately there are a people that are seeing the problem and finding solutions...people want to buy and they want to give and the need to spend...and don't want to just donate their money...fair enough.  So how about products that not only get you a nifty item but also send money or food or education or needs to those that need it more.  Things like this...31 Bits...

31 Bits Designs is a socially minded business designed to give internally displaced women in Northern Uganda an opportunity to counter poverty. By giving our beneficiaries access to the international market, they are able to earn an instant income, providing homes, food, and education for their families. Our program equips women by providing literacy education, financial and vocational training, holistic care, and strong support systems, empowering individuals to further their careers and attain social equity.

or This...Krochet Kids

To create sustainable economic development programs that support holistic growth of individuals and communities within developing nations.  To inspire the knowledge of a generation about their ability to bring change to a world that is in need.

or This....Not for Sale

For all who answered the call for freedom, Not For Sale offers various tools of engagement, avenues for justice, and tools for advocacy. Additionally, our goal is to enable individuals to exercise their social power through the Not For Sale Store by offering ethical purchasing options that empower vulnerable communities worldwide. Every purchase is a vote and at Not For Sale, we believe that your purchase is your advocacy. It is in your purchase that you address the root causes of injustice, and turn the tide in ethical sourcing, production, and consumption.

I don't know what the solutions are to the greed and to the got have, gimme, gimme's that are so prevalent in our society but something has to give.  It makes me sad, it makes me angry, and frustrated. I want to teach my kids differently but I am not sure how when it's shoved in their faces every where we turn.  Take a step back this year and find the priorities.  I am trying to...