Growing up my grandfather was bound to a wheelchair, a car accident as a young adult and there he was spending the rest of his life sitting. He made the most of it I suppose and kept himself involved in various wheelchair sports, landed himself in the Wheelchair Basketball Hall of Fame. But by the time I was around and old enough to remember a good deal of his time ended with him in his bed....directly next to his bed was a giant picture window and right outside of that window was home to bird feeders. I don't know how many but it was a bunch and my grandparents kept them filled all year battled with squirrels and other pesky little things eating up all the seeds. Consequently I feel a little drawn to birds...I have feeders here but I keep them filled about 3 time a year, I try!
Except I have what seems to be an affinity for random bird incidents. However they aren't sweet birds chirping at me or showing up nearby at random times....they involve death and poop and wtf just happened moments. This morning I took the kids to school got home and decided to fill up the baby pool for the little ones and have some outside play today...did some piddling around in the yard. Ran my hand thru my hair and discovered something dry and crusty...I knew it was bird shit and yep a quick glance it sure was. Who knows how long it was there....Hardy har birds hardy har...Not the first time they have gotten me either. Pretty sure this makes #3. Also pretty sure I heard them in the trees cackling. In TN we had a dying turkey mysteriously end up in our 6 foot fenced yard best guess after inspecting around was that the darn thing flew up over our fence and slammed itself into the side of our house. Dunno why it did that but poor thing kicked the bucket. Slammed a pigeon into my windshield driving 70 mph down the interstate as the poor thing desperately tried to fly faster than my car in the pouring rain in the fast lane...basically I was stuck and his butt slammed into my window. Slaughtered a duck while, again, cruising down a road in the pouring rain didn't see it until it was too late and klonk clanked his head and sent feathers flying. Whoops. Watched many a hawk swoop in and snag a pour tiny critter right out of the grass. We have had birds in the garage and birds in the house.
You know it may be Mother Nature in general...found a snake in my bathroom when it fell.out.at.my.feet. I died a little there. Discovered a chipmunk in the laundry basket AFTER I picked up the clothes and it fell out--thankfully back into the basket. As a kid I managed to step in cow poop waiting for the bus and then sat on my foot...had to call home for new clothes as I was covered in manure. Come up on deer at various startling moments. Had a snake slither between my feet while standing in a pile of leaves...on the edge of a cliff. Basically I think I have a mark on me and these little critters like to just keep me on my toes. It's ok I will keep on keeping on with my Snow White self....or wait...I don't think that's quite right either.
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Friday, August 3, 2018
Back to school
Wednesday marked the first day back to school for 5 of the kiddos....the 2018/2019 school year is off and running. We have 2 in high school, 1 in middle, and 2 in elementary. Anna will start a little MDO type program at the end of the month....I am excited for her, she will love it once she gets over the initial "shock" of it all! And she may surprise me and do just fine...I was certain Nolan was going to struggle when he started and he didn't shed a tear.
It's currently nap time around here and I am at my desk....avoiding cleaning it and enjoying the peace and quiet. It's been raining for a few days now and the sun is slowly starting to peek back out. I am day dreaming the day when we can do all the things we have been need/wanting to do to the house...all the houses. Our first house we had all the grandiose plans and instead just threw in the towel and moved...the 2nd house was new and I don't suppose we had too many ideas that we would have ever finished instead we (read *I*) rearranged bedrooms every few months and called it a day. Basically much of the same here...it's rotating bedrooms around here trying to find the best configuration, the best use of space....we are at a good spot now...I THINK. But as with any house after 8 years of living here and nearly 30 years of being built it needs a fair amount of TLC that a coat of paint won't help. We are able to DIY a good portion but are about at our limit with it. And my antsy self is tapping my foot and trying to not look at it...afterall money does not grow on trees and with 6 kiddos and one income it's a little trickier to come by the extra needed. So patience is a virtue I am trying to snag....sigh. Patience. Always patience.
Speaking of antsy...after 16+ years of being a stay at home mom...home maker...I am exactly that ANTSY. I am over the laundry folding, dusting, butt wiping, snot cleaning, food making, toilet cleaning, organizing, picker upping...all the live long day. Now I certainly know that that's the territory with being a parent...home or not home. But certainly is less of it when one is not home all day every day. So while I have a few more years before this youngest little person is off to school full time...my mind is spinning and pondering out ideas with what I plan to do with myself...I wouldn't trade these last two years with her...I have really been grateful and thankful to have been able to spend the time home with them. It is truly what I wanted to do...be with them, have fun with them. I certainly had and have other aspirations with my life other than "just being a mom" but top up on that list was exactly that. One day I sure hope these little boogers appreciate it all...right now not so much but maybe eventually. As my brain melts away and turns to mush...I spend half my days wandering around trying to figure out what to do with myself, knowing I can't really start too many or too much of a project because..Kids. I keep my nephews during the week so my flexibility right now is greatly limited...also damnit I don't want to clean shit all darn day either. LAME. Our washing machine is on it's last leg for some reason so the highlight of my day is when it completes a load without a snag. Party time people...party time. But the sun is shining and so are these little people.
My 20 year high school reunion is tonight, something I will NOT be attending. I don't have overly fond memories of high school...I don't know why really...but other than a small handful of folks I am pretty good to just not. I was just there...another face in the crowd, I had a small group of friends and a few I was closer with as the years went but none I have stayed in touch really other than social media...but does that really count? I was a good girl and then for a hot minute or 4 I wasn't...graduated hung over as shit and blah is how it ended. Truth be told it makes me sad...I remember people and events but then many are just faces and I am scratching my head wondering how I can't remember names and places and events. High school is a funny time...and I was just....there. I hope my kids have fonder memories and happier times...I try not to be too crotchety about it to them, high school for some is the best but no not this girl. So I am good...to stay right here. I like here much better.
Also holy shit...20 years...and yet I still feel like this is all make believe and I am really just a 16 year old kid. Life goes...life just goes.
It's currently nap time around here and I am at my desk....avoiding cleaning it and enjoying the peace and quiet. It's been raining for a few days now and the sun is slowly starting to peek back out. I am day dreaming the day when we can do all the things we have been need/wanting to do to the house...all the houses. Our first house we had all the grandiose plans and instead just threw in the towel and moved...the 2nd house was new and I don't suppose we had too many ideas that we would have ever finished instead we (read *I*) rearranged bedrooms every few months and called it a day. Basically much of the same here...it's rotating bedrooms around here trying to find the best configuration, the best use of space....we are at a good spot now...I THINK. But as with any house after 8 years of living here and nearly 30 years of being built it needs a fair amount of TLC that a coat of paint won't help. We are able to DIY a good portion but are about at our limit with it. And my antsy self is tapping my foot and trying to not look at it...afterall money does not grow on trees and with 6 kiddos and one income it's a little trickier to come by the extra needed. So patience is a virtue I am trying to snag....sigh. Patience. Always patience.
Speaking of antsy...after 16+ years of being a stay at home mom...home maker...I am exactly that ANTSY. I am over the laundry folding, dusting, butt wiping, snot cleaning, food making, toilet cleaning, organizing, picker upping...all the live long day. Now I certainly know that that's the territory with being a parent...home or not home. But certainly is less of it when one is not home all day every day. So while I have a few more years before this youngest little person is off to school full time...my mind is spinning and pondering out ideas with what I plan to do with myself...I wouldn't trade these last two years with her...I have really been grateful and thankful to have been able to spend the time home with them. It is truly what I wanted to do...be with them, have fun with them. I certainly had and have other aspirations with my life other than "just being a mom" but top up on that list was exactly that. One day I sure hope these little boogers appreciate it all...right now not so much but maybe eventually. As my brain melts away and turns to mush...I spend half my days wandering around trying to figure out what to do with myself, knowing I can't really start too many or too much of a project because..Kids. I keep my nephews during the week so my flexibility right now is greatly limited...also damnit I don't want to clean shit all darn day either. LAME. Our washing machine is on it's last leg for some reason so the highlight of my day is when it completes a load without a snag. Party time people...party time. But the sun is shining and so are these little people.
My 20 year high school reunion is tonight, something I will NOT be attending. I don't have overly fond memories of high school...I don't know why really...but other than a small handful of folks I am pretty good to just not. I was just there...another face in the crowd, I had a small group of friends and a few I was closer with as the years went but none I have stayed in touch really other than social media...but does that really count? I was a good girl and then for a hot minute or 4 I wasn't...graduated hung over as shit and blah is how it ended. Truth be told it makes me sad...I remember people and events but then many are just faces and I am scratching my head wondering how I can't remember names and places and events. High school is a funny time...and I was just....there. I hope my kids have fonder memories and happier times...I try not to be too crotchety about it to them, high school for some is the best but no not this girl. So I am good...to stay right here. I like here much better.
Also holy shit...20 years...and yet I still feel like this is all make believe and I am really just a 16 year old kid. Life goes...life just goes.
Monday, June 18, 2018
Monday, Monday...
Every once in a while I will pop in here spout off a few words and then slink away for another year or so...though thinking I really should write more often but then LIFE. I just did a glance thru and can't believe my kids have all had FOUR birthdays since I last gave them a birthday post...the last one was Gavin's 8th. Whoops...those are always a nice little post. I am mostly posting and hanging in the land of instagram these days. All the social media man...it's too much to juggle. Couple that with half a dozen kids....make that 8 Monday-Friday most hours of the day and yeah that's a no for here. I watch 2 of the nephews during the week they are good babies but you know just extra...All the 3 and under crowd are currently snoozing and here I am. Notebooks and planners in front of me...I am supposed to be jotting down some dates and planning some things for us to do for our remaining weeks of summer but that is easier to envision than to actually put to paper...literally.
5 of the kiddos are on a swim team that runs thru the rest of June it takes up a good chunk of our mornings...basically ALL of the morning and after that it's lunch and nap so right now that's about it. Blah.
My Annie girl is 3 and a chatter box and a busy one on her own....goodness I could eat her up though. We all could...the baby for sure and loved and loved. That girly is a ball of love. She tells us almost everyday how she loves her family...a month or so ago she told me she had "magic in her tummy for loving everyone" and I pretty much felt like I could just wash away all my worries about parenting these kids right. I yell and yell and she still has all the magic for love right in her tummy....it will be alright.
I have been on a bit of a "fitness" journey...a make Rachel feel better trek of sorts. I dunno....something had to give because here I sat getting unhealthier by the minute gaining weight almost monthly and feeling like shit both physically and mentally. Finally I just got up and moved...no major date set no plan....just move and well eat more veggies. It worked I lost some pounds and feel better but...BUT I have hit a wall with summer. I am still doing decent with my foods and not curving back into old bad habits a little but honestly that's the beauty of it IT's OK! But man working out is great and awful at the same time....why, why...I mean it's so good for our bodies but just not doing it is more fun ha! I am not totally off the wagon here...I am still rocking my yoga and squeezing in a few workouts during the week too but not killing it all like I was. And yes I feel better....mentally that is...I was hoping for a miraculous omg I feel amazing fix and it hasn't been that but I for sure feel better and as with so many things baby steps! As I previously mentioned...I am a yeller and that yelling'ness has gotten worse over the last few years...my patience shortened and my ability to no lose my shit at mach speed vanished. After so many many nights lying in bed beating myself up for it I finally said you know what...enough A) I am sick of being made to feel like I horrible parent for it....I yell and it sucks but I am trying sooooo move along and B) let's also be proactive to avoid it...eating better and working out may help and so I changed some things and it does. So does planning a little better and also probably need to discipline my kids a little more because what causes me to yell? Well they don't listen and yeah they should at least a little more than they do....but that's a work in progress too. It's funny after 16+ years in the parenting biz...specifically the stay at home parent side of it, it's still a struggle and I for sure do not have it all figured out. Not even a little...oh sure somethings but everyone has their struggles. And also after 16+ years of it I think my brain is slowing melting away to squish and all the more reason to come here and use it some. This jumbled around post of say whats?
So the kids huh...well Jakeb is 16 and not driving yet...he has his permit but here he has to have it for a year so he's a good 9 months away from officially being a driver...plus I dunno about all that just yet. He's a responsible kid and one we have always joked is an old man careful and cautious and I don't doubt that in a car but he's still a kid. Nerve wracking! He's done well in high school and I can't even believe the kid is nearly grown and fast approaching the college days...my stomach does flip flops every time I really think about it and him leaving. But that boy loves us and his siblings too much he fortunately (I think...I HOPE!) won't slam the door shut and rarely come back. Sigh...can't believe it is so close. Our Z-man kid is 14 and oh is he ever 14....14 was a hard age for Jakeb and it's proving to be a tough one for this kiddo too. SO incredibly sweet one minute and I want to ring his neck the next....but he will still hold my hand in public and has no problem helping with a sibling or carrying a strangers bag or running to help anyone who needs it. A whiz kid at school and we rarely have to keep things in check with his work. Just when we think we are messing up so much with him he does something so awesome and I know we are ok, he's a fantastic sweet kind kiddo. Gavin, G-babes I can't even believe that child is 12...one more year until we have 3 teenagers in the house, lawd help us all. Though that one has mostly mellowed out in his old age ;) {mostly} gone are the days of wall kicking and screaming and throwing down to the floor fits with that child. While he isn't as quick to jump in to help Tori and Nolan he certainly will do anything for Anna and is such a kind heart sweet kiddo. He too is helpful and the resident smarty pants of the house...had a great first year in middle school, has a great group of friends that he's had since Kindy really...which is so cool, I always wanted that and am so thrilled my kids are developing that. I am loving watching this kid's personality emerge more and more...of course at 12 one would think but Gavin has always been more of a mystery to us a big personality we have always seen but one much harder to pin down and describe. If that makes any sort of sense. Tori-Dori Girl ....that girl...whew that one, she's 8! Sweet as can be (mostly) but she definitely keeps us on our toes. Let me just say from where she was when she walked in our door a little over 4 years ago to now...Ah-mazing. That girl doesn't quit. No really...she doesn't in all the things. The gray hairs on my head I joke are from her...AND Anna. She's doing all the things we wondered if she would...I have faith in her...SO much and maybe too much some times...as in I push her too hard. Listening is a major struggle and she's getting there...But it's hard to see all the things I just know she can do. So she's reading and writing and doing all the school things....bike riding and swimming and jumping and running and monkey baring and tree climbing. She silly and girly and messy and neat and a jumble of awesome. My little Bear boy, Nolan....Mr Charismatic. This kid has a face that wins them over a twinkle in his eye that just lights up his face and a sweet kind heart. Loved by teachers and friends and goodness everyone...though his little mouth has been a little stinker one lately! Child is 6 years old and I can't even believe it's been 6 year since that round face full of dark hair was born...and surprised us all. He really is just a joy, happy and playful and silly. He too is rocking it out at school and just doing so wonderful. But boy is he BUSY. He is the definition of busy boy thru and thru...throwing balls and jumping on the couch he is Zachary 2.0 ha! He even has a hard time turning that energy off to sleep...falling asleep is rough and staying asleep too some nights. He still is so so snuggly too...such a awesome kiddo. And Anna...our 3 year old baby. Spoiled is probably putting it mildly. She's quite opinionated and loves things her way (duh, she's 3!) she has everyone in this house pretty wrapped..."But Anna said she wants it!" We are trying to undo some of that but it's hard haha! She silly and playful and such a love. She loves to sing and dance for us and make us all listen to her...."everybody in the family watch me!" As I said she loves her family SO much...lists us all and grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins. She hates to say goodbye but panics if she doesn't get to tell someone bye. She sings her ABC's and can count to 13ish. Loves Paw Patrol and her real doggies, in fact dogs are her favorites. She is one amazing girl for sure.
So there's a catch up on the kiddos....a quick one but a long one because 6 kids problems. We are currently a 2 dog (Stella and Lucy) and 2 cat (Patches and Rhodey) family...Robert works from home these days and I manage the rest.
Time is up....Anna girl is up and demanding her juice and yogurt and a show!
5 of the kiddos are on a swim team that runs thru the rest of June it takes up a good chunk of our mornings...basically ALL of the morning and after that it's lunch and nap so right now that's about it. Blah.
My Annie girl is 3 and a chatter box and a busy one on her own....goodness I could eat her up though. We all could...the baby for sure and loved and loved. That girly is a ball of love. She tells us almost everyday how she loves her family...a month or so ago she told me she had "magic in her tummy for loving everyone" and I pretty much felt like I could just wash away all my worries about parenting these kids right. I yell and yell and she still has all the magic for love right in her tummy....it will be alright.
I have been on a bit of a "fitness" journey...a make Rachel feel better trek of sorts. I dunno....something had to give because here I sat getting unhealthier by the minute gaining weight almost monthly and feeling like shit both physically and mentally. Finally I just got up and moved...no major date set no plan....just move and well eat more veggies. It worked I lost some pounds and feel better but...BUT I have hit a wall with summer. I am still doing decent with my foods and not curving back into old bad habits a little but honestly that's the beauty of it IT's OK! But man working out is great and awful at the same time....why, why...I mean it's so good for our bodies but just not doing it is more fun ha! I am not totally off the wagon here...I am still rocking my yoga and squeezing in a few workouts during the week too but not killing it all like I was. And yes I feel better....mentally that is...I was hoping for a miraculous omg I feel amazing fix and it hasn't been that but I for sure feel better and as with so many things baby steps! As I previously mentioned...I am a yeller and that yelling'ness has gotten worse over the last few years...my patience shortened and my ability to no lose my shit at mach speed vanished. After so many many nights lying in bed beating myself up for it I finally said you know what...enough A) I am sick of being made to feel like I horrible parent for it....I yell and it sucks but I am trying sooooo move along and B) let's also be proactive to avoid it...eating better and working out may help and so I changed some things and it does. So does planning a little better and also probably need to discipline my kids a little more because what causes me to yell? Well they don't listen and yeah they should at least a little more than they do....but that's a work in progress too. It's funny after 16+ years in the parenting biz...specifically the stay at home parent side of it, it's still a struggle and I for sure do not have it all figured out. Not even a little...oh sure somethings but everyone has their struggles. And also after 16+ years of it I think my brain is slowing melting away to squish and all the more reason to come here and use it some. This jumbled around post of say whats?
So the kids huh...well Jakeb is 16 and not driving yet...he has his permit but here he has to have it for a year so he's a good 9 months away from officially being a driver...plus I dunno about all that just yet. He's a responsible kid and one we have always joked is an old man careful and cautious and I don't doubt that in a car but he's still a kid. Nerve wracking! He's done well in high school and I can't even believe the kid is nearly grown and fast approaching the college days...my stomach does flip flops every time I really think about it and him leaving. But that boy loves us and his siblings too much he fortunately (I think...I HOPE!) won't slam the door shut and rarely come back. Sigh...can't believe it is so close. Our Z-man kid is 14 and oh is he ever 14....14 was a hard age for Jakeb and it's proving to be a tough one for this kiddo too. SO incredibly sweet one minute and I want to ring his neck the next....but he will still hold my hand in public and has no problem helping with a sibling or carrying a strangers bag or running to help anyone who needs it. A whiz kid at school and we rarely have to keep things in check with his work. Just when we think we are messing up so much with him he does something so awesome and I know we are ok, he's a fantastic sweet kind kiddo. Gavin, G-babes I can't even believe that child is 12...one more year until we have 3 teenagers in the house, lawd help us all. Though that one has mostly mellowed out in his old age ;) {mostly} gone are the days of wall kicking and screaming and throwing down to the floor fits with that child. While he isn't as quick to jump in to help Tori and Nolan he certainly will do anything for Anna and is such a kind heart sweet kiddo. He too is helpful and the resident smarty pants of the house...had a great first year in middle school, has a great group of friends that he's had since Kindy really...which is so cool, I always wanted that and am so thrilled my kids are developing that. I am loving watching this kid's personality emerge more and more...of course at 12 one would think but Gavin has always been more of a mystery to us a big personality we have always seen but one much harder to pin down and describe. If that makes any sort of sense. Tori-Dori Girl ....that girl...whew that one, she's 8! Sweet as can be (mostly) but she definitely keeps us on our toes. Let me just say from where she was when she walked in our door a little over 4 years ago to now...Ah-mazing. That girl doesn't quit. No really...she doesn't in all the things. The gray hairs on my head I joke are from her...AND Anna. She's doing all the things we wondered if she would...I have faith in her...SO much and maybe too much some times...as in I push her too hard. Listening is a major struggle and she's getting there...But it's hard to see all the things I just know she can do. So she's reading and writing and doing all the school things....bike riding and swimming and jumping and running and monkey baring and tree climbing. She silly and girly and messy and neat and a jumble of awesome. My little Bear boy, Nolan....Mr Charismatic. This kid has a face that wins them over a twinkle in his eye that just lights up his face and a sweet kind heart. Loved by teachers and friends and goodness everyone...though his little mouth has been a little stinker one lately! Child is 6 years old and I can't even believe it's been 6 year since that round face full of dark hair was born...and surprised us all. He really is just a joy, happy and playful and silly. He too is rocking it out at school and just doing so wonderful. But boy is he BUSY. He is the definition of busy boy thru and thru...throwing balls and jumping on the couch he is Zachary 2.0 ha! He even has a hard time turning that energy off to sleep...falling asleep is rough and staying asleep too some nights. He still is so so snuggly too...such a awesome kiddo. And Anna...our 3 year old baby. Spoiled is probably putting it mildly. She's quite opinionated and loves things her way (duh, she's 3!) she has everyone in this house pretty wrapped..."But Anna said she wants it!" We are trying to undo some of that but it's hard haha! She silly and playful and such a love. She loves to sing and dance for us and make us all listen to her...."everybody in the family watch me!" As I said she loves her family SO much...lists us all and grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins. She hates to say goodbye but panics if she doesn't get to tell someone bye. She sings her ABC's and can count to 13ish. Loves Paw Patrol and her real doggies, in fact dogs are her favorites. She is one amazing girl for sure.
So there's a catch up on the kiddos....a quick one but a long one because 6 kids problems. We are currently a 2 dog (Stella and Lucy) and 2 cat (Patches and Rhodey) family...Robert works from home these days and I manage the rest.
Time is up....Anna girl is up and demanding her juice and yogurt and a show!
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