Can I give a shy little hello to the empty void that has become this blog and blogging in general. I do on occasion miss the time sitting here to write....all be it mostly kid nonsense and blah blah blah'ing. It's now ¾ of the way thru 2020, that has been a dumpster fire for most. If I'm being optimistic and honest and *knocking on wood* the year hasn't been horrible for us....though maybe it's my tendency to find the silver linings in things. I mean I could give a run down of all the things in 2020....hello QUARANTINE and covid and let's not even mention politics because what in the actual #$#! there. But....at this point we have read all the synopsis' right?
We managed to get thru the kids school closing and relatively unscathed. We stayed busy with as many outdoor activities as we could...that is before the rest of the country realized those were fun things too...at this point I am sadly mostly avoiding state parks and hiking trails because lord where do we even park!? They are packed now and I miss the earlier days of them being deserted.
Jakeb graduated high school and in person....but sadly all other activities that go along with being a senior were a no go. Anna's last few months of preschool as well were a wash....won't lie that hit my hard. Harder than one would think, but she's the baby and she LOVES all the activities like that. Jakeb on the other hand was meh about it and probably thinking he dodged a bullet.
Speaking of Anna lord where have a left off....she's 5 and happily settled into Kindy. So we have a college freshman, a junior, a high school freshman, a 4th grader, 3rd grader, and a kindergartener. School has gone surprisingly well. I was so torn on the decision for sending them back or not but it turned out to be a good one. My gut was all would be fine but lord all the outside voices in full panic mode over all the things...certainly keeps things spun up.
It's interesting every time I sit down to write which if I am honest hasn't been since the last time...what 2 years ago? I debate if I should be giving a full blown kid/life update or just the ramblings of things in my head. I think that is a large reason for the absence other than just the busy-ness that is one's life with 6 kiddos.
I turned 40 this year and I will say the same that so many others do...I don't feel 40. This "journey" of life is ever evolving and I know many will echo the same sentiments of finding oneself more and more as they age. Learning to accept who I am and who I have always been is easier some days than others, but indeed easier with age. And now with all my little peoples off to school and out of the house for 6 solid hours of the day I am not pondering life in a different way too....a career? a job? a hobby? Where does one go after 18+ years of being home with kids...with no real job experience to speak of other than the few odd jobs I have had over the years. Can I add juggling a household and whining children to my otherwise blank resume? I am certain not. So ho hum. I have laughed that I often blamed the kids for why I couldn't or didn't keep up with cleaning the house regularly or on a set schedule...or at all....I have no realized it wasn't just them. I actually don't WANT to clean the house or really be that domestic SO a legit actual "housewife" is off the list because I am not sure that's the career choice for me. This is the question of my day right now when seeing people "what are you doing with all your time"....well. I really don't know. Not all the responsible things I "should" be that's for sure. I have certainly been "blessed" to be able to be home with the kiddos and have the opportunity to do exactly what I/We felt was a important choice for us and our little folks and we have certainly made financial and life sacrifices. I have certainly sacrificed a few brain cells and adult conversation skills. So here I am blabbering on about being 40 and at a crossroads of sorts with so very many directions I could go....
It's fall here and still quite warm per usual. Leaves are starting to fall and change ever so slowly. I am looking forward to the cooler weather and the seasons change...I love the newness of a new season and am always ready for the change.
Wrapping it up here....maybe I will pop back in with some more regularity with the kids at school....or maybe I will learn I just really don't have that much to say.
