A Holiday

Um so Christmas has come and gone. We had a wonderful extraordinarily low key holiday this year. No grandparent visiting, no family dinners, no traveling, no hauling cranky sugar filled kids to various houses, no wrapping presents until 3am, just a quiet Christmas at home. My mom came down as well as Robert's brother from Chattanooga and that was that.

Every year for as long as I can remember we have spent our Christmas's running all over. Every single Christmas Eve was without question spent with my dad's parents--this year my grandfather passed away and so did that tradition. One of our own family "musts" is that we are home Christmas morning and this year we moved so spending Christmas Eve or day anywhere else would not allow us to be home Christmas morning. So instead people came to us. Robert's parents are going to spend New Years with us and we will celebrate Christmas with them at the end of this week. My dad swung by yesterday and we said our hello's and swapped gifts with him. While the quietness has been nice it's also been strange, the hustle and bustle is part of the excitement of the season sometimes so it's just been a odd holiday for us. A great one just different! The kids have had a blast and spent 5 solid days at home doing nothing but playing with their new toys and hanging out with us. They went absolutely no where and spent several days in pj's all day, they were in heaven. It has been wonderfully relaxing for sure.

I have lots of pictures and eventually will load them up. Until then!

Feliz Navidad

(photos courtesy of Lisa Slate Photography)

Boo

Scare me scare you. (my grandfather used to say that all the time when I was little) Still around just busy busy. The boys are out of school for the year. I love the end of the year and all the "I'll see you next year" funnies. We are ready up for Christmas and are looking forward to the first year to host Christmas at home. Everyone is coming to us instead of us romping all over dragging kids and gifts and exhaustion.

Poor Gavin is sick with a stomach bug and I am crossing my fingers and praying that it doesn't make rounds. He's never had one quite this bad before and he's quite pitiful.

We had friends in town the first part of the week and I was back in TN over the weekend to hang out with my mom for her birthday.

I wrapped up the last of my Christmas shopping last week with lots of online ordering--cold weather and crowds didn't sound appealing so I opted for convenience this year. Which is so my middle name these days. I am super pleased with our Christmas spending and am glad we kept things to a dull roar this year and so is the checking account.

Things are coming together with the adoption we have every document we need for our dossier--minus our I800A approval, which I am hoping for sometime in January. Next week we have our biometrics done and while we are in ATL doing that we plan to get everything apostilled and ready to go. We are now sitting back and going to work on our Spanish! Robert took 4 years of it in high school and I had 2 so we have a few basics--Robert more than I. I am now kicking myself for quitting the class in college all those years ago.

My mom will be on her way down in just a bit and will spend Christmas with us, then my dad for a day or two, and then Robert's parents will be here to celebrate and help us ring in 2011.

Merry Christmas! ¡Feliz Navidad!

These 3

Have grown. Like A lot.

(photo courtesy of McDougal Photography-circa 2006)

(photo courtesy of Lisa Slate Photography circo-2010)

Where we are.

Just a brief little update on how things are going with adoption paperwork. Basically it's going. I am hoping to have our I797C approval letter by the end of January. We received our second copy of our Psychological report this morning--believe it or not we aren't crazy. Whew. That's a relief. Getting this report is taking more time than I was told it would but we are getting there. Hopefully it won't need any more adjustments. It was pretty much too short so she was asked to lengthen it. Ho hum.

Friday I received our FBI clearance letters--no arrest records. Another relief. But knew that. And that's about it. Once I get my hands on the signed psych report I will be heading downtown for apostille's and then sending a completed dossier package to our agency, and will just be waiting on our approval letter from the US.

Things are calming down for me emotionally about it at the moment. Last week for whatever reason I got myself all worked up about the time frames and the unknowns. But right now I am ok. I imagine (knowing me) I will get myself all in a tizzy several times before this is all over with--but we will keep on truckin'! Everything is coming together slowly but surely.

ETA: We received our biometrics appt letters today!

Re-evaluation

Wow. Doing some reassessing of the parenting tactics going on in this house this evening. Several posts ago I gushed on and on about how good my kids are. And for the most part they are and I still say that. However over the past few weeks and now minutes I have been thinking that our approach--or lack there of--is well...lacking. See in my mind it's pretty important to me that the kids be kids and that we don't force their little personalities out of them by strict punishments and rules. And for the most part they haven't taken advantage of this--or hadn't. I mean they never get in trouble at school. And when they go to other people's houses they are polite and follow directions--good deal seems we are on track. Except at home. At home it's gotten a little "Lord of the Flies" around here. We don't have a whole lot of set rules and we don't usually follow thru with punishments---I know I KNOW. But seriously we just haven't had to--a not so pleased look, a raised voice and that's been sufficient--or we have let it be. But recently it's occurred to me that it's not really sufficient. They are getting a bit out of control. When I heard Robert say to Jakeb, "I have told you 15 times to stop...." it was like a smack in the head to me. Why in the world are we saying that--because 15 times is so not a stretch...we really tell them 15 times and then totally loose it, they stop, and repeat doing it 20 min later when we aren't around. That my friends would be a non-approach approach. A non-effective way to get the message across. I do not feel like we should supervise their play 24/7, I cannot hover over my 8 year old all day to make sure he doesn't jump on the couch--because he should just know that's not ok and if he does do this--he will get punished. Instead he does this and gets a stern "Jakeb you know better....I have told you 95453434 times...." and does it again an hour later. This is not working. Now the other side of me says "Wellll yeah but he's a kid that's what kids do, it could be worse...." Hold up no. It will be worse if we don't get our shit together and put the smack down on these heathens. And the final straw was broken this evening it has gotten worse. It's game time on the parenting front.

Breaths of Calm

I have mentioned several times recently how "calm and content" things have been feeling around here. Sure, sure there are days of stressfulness, days when I totally loose my cool with the kids but instead of beating myself up about it I have been able to take it all in stride and vow to do better next time.

I have done a lot of thinking about my new found sense of relaxed I often feel....side note to say I am not always feeling this way but the fact that I am feeling it at all is a big deal. I suppose age is a factor, but I can't put my finger on exactly what changed in my thinking. And I realized that maybe nothing did.

A big change for us is that we have slowed down A LOT. It was happening before we moved--we weren't going every single day. We were home a lot more. Busy yes yes very busy but in a different way I guess. I was able to have time at home. And now that we are here, we are home almost all the time. Today as I was sitting by the fire folding laundry and listening to Christmas music in a quiet house, while Gavin napped. I was reflecting on the past year or so and all that has happened. How I seriously cannot believe it's December and how it really feels like it's summer still (not because of the weather cause DANG it's cold!). How us slowing down has given me time to relax and regroup and a chance to reset my brain. Being home has been wonderful for all of us. And maybe my lackadaisical house maintenance that has been going on isn't so bad afterall, because I am sure feeling pretty good lately. How maybe I will eventually maybe catch up with time, but I probably won't. But at least right now I don't feel like I am flying thru it and can't hold on--at least now I am speed walking on flat ground (have I mentioned I can seriously walk fast--no really I can walk at most peoples slow run speed--I so could be an olympic speed walker, not kidding) Anyway. Don't get me wrong there are certainly days where I feel stressed and my head momentarily starts spinning and freaking out but now, now I am able to take a breath and get it under control--most of the time. And this is such a welcoming feeling.

Now that I have posted this nice oh everyone is so caalllmmm...come sit by my fire and be calm and relaxed post. I have to giggle and must tell you that not 15 min ago I was downstairs in the toy room borderline flipping out over lost game pieces, giant dings in the walls, and little boys touching things they know they shouldn't--but also can't help themselves because, duh, they are little boys. But it was borderline flipping out...which is much calmer than the real flipping out that can occur and that my friends is all that matters...I flipped out calmly.

{Made}

So I found this little writing prompt project. Maybe it will help "prompt" me. Follow little link dude over there to read more or participate too.

So prompt numero uno (which is actually prompt 6 but I am a late starter. Duh.) "Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?"

A hundred ways to take this. Something I made. Well I am making this post. I made the decision to make this post. I made a phone call. I made cream of wheat for myself for breakfast. All of this I did so by using myself and my brain. My hands.

I am not particularly crafty. I tried to make curtains. That was a flop. I helped Jakeb make his project for school. That was not a flop. Last night I helped the boys make a gingerbread house. That was a flop. We used candies, icing, and of course the little pre-made pieces that came with the kit to assemble the house. Every year I buy a gingerbread house and every year I realize I just don't like them. Messy and gooey and messy. But the kids. Yes the kids enjoy them so I do it. I have realized that I am really sucking the joy right out of this activity, that is no good of me. I will work on it. I am working on it.

There are dozens of things I would love to make. But time and energy and patience are not in abundance for me so I just don't. I think oh that could be fun...no, no some day. Now is now the time for me to start 97 projects I can't complete. Martha Stewart I am not. What's funny about this is that sometimes I long for more "Martha'ness" I mean after all I am stay at home Mom to little kids. It's not like I never have down time because I so do. But I need it to do things like this post--and to eat more chocolate. I don't have time for scrap-booking, crafty lunch kits, spray painting picture frames, and reupholstering furniture. Once I decide if it's actually worth my time to do those sort of things or just read about folks that do. I have this perfectionism problem that keeps me from doing aforementioned activities. But I would like time, I just need to make it.

What about it

So it seems the first question we get when we tell a person we are adopting is "What made you want to do that?" It's also up there in all of the adoption paperwork--why exactly are you wanting to adopt? Of course the short answer is we tried for kid number 4 and it didn't happen so we decided to adopt. Though really it's much longer than that...there's much more to it than that. We've talked about it, so if your reading you know. I have, I think, always known I would adopt a child--when I knew I don't know, but now that we are actually do it it seems I always knew. I am not sure if Robert feels the same way--I don't know that guys think like that. For many there is a religious reason along with their decision, various bible verse's and callings all point them to the decision to adopt. I suppose I could call it a calling but that just doesn't feel right--a decision yes, but I have no bible verse to back me up, no further explanations other than my heart and soul say yes, do this. Does Robert feel the same passion--again I don't think so. But he's not exactly in the same "line of work" yes yes he's a parent of course but there is a different level of it for him. No worse or less just different. Is he excited? Yes.

I am so excited sometimes I can hardly contain myself. I think about the children that we will bring home, I wonder if they are born yet, what is going on in their life right now? I hope they are happy and know they are loved already.

Random but I don't know that I like the word orphan. I read it everywhere--"it's for the orphans" but something about saying that just doesn't feel right in my heart. I am not sure why. I don't think that if I was an orphan I would like to be called an orphan even if that's what I was. So because of that I don't like using it. But there does need to be something done for all the children who are in fact sitting in orphanages without families. Whose little lives have been so unfair and so hard. It breaks my heart. It makes me sad.

Either way I am stoked about these little dark haired cuties we will be bringing home sometime in the next 3 or so years. Yes, that says 3 YEARS. Or it could be 1 or worse 4. I am having a hard time this weekend with the unknowns. Everything is so up in the air right now and when we started this process I knew that it was lengthy and I knew that it can change but until you are working thru it it just doesn't register. I can't prepare, I can't talk it up to the kids or family. And it's hard. It will be beyond worth it of course. By the time I get my hands on these little ones I will feel as if I emotionally birthed them myself, not physically of course. Duh. But the emotions attached to this process are certainly the same intensity especially over such a long time period. Discovering that has been wonderful even if I know the emotional attachment I feel for them mostly likely won't be immediately returned. But it will grow in time.

But truth be told and what I try to keep reminding myself is that financially we can't bring them home right now or even in 6 months....we won't be ready for that financially. Now don't get me wrong if that came up we would SO make it happen. But not likely, very not likely. Sure we can afford to love them and clothe them and feed them but those big chunks of change that would have to exchange hands to get them home would be hard to accomplish.

All that being said one of the ideas I have had floating around in my head has finally gotten a jump start--well not so much a jump but a start none the less-- on the right over there is a little Etsy shop link. I have listed several shots I have taken over the past year or so and instead of flat out saying hey can you help us--which is not easy to do--I am offering a little extra for your help. I being a photographer LOVE having photographs all over my house--and thought maybe some of you might love that too. SO go to the little Etsy shop and buy a print! It's mounted and nice and sturdy and you can frame it or not--lean it on your mantel or cute little shelf. Give it as a gift, hang it in your office. Whatever. But do so knowing that it's helping a good thing. It's going to help bring 2 sweet little ones home.forever. And hopefully sooner rather than later. Here's the link.

And also don't want a print but still want to help? Wow. You rock and you can do so by clicking that little "donate" button over on the right side.

And don't worry I will be adding lots more images soon. But it's Sunday and I just got it up and running and am still figuring it all out. So yeah. That's it. It's out there.

Some things

to look at today...the boys finished rooms...I wish I could post a picture of the finished tree that looks fabulous but I can't because I haven't taken one. But the tree does indeed look fabulous. Until then...rooms...the dining room also. Which is the wonderful turquoise color also and looks mighty fine. I have a knack for piecing what we have together and making it look pretty ok and HomeGoods is my very favorite.

Tuesday Twelve.

1. This past Thanksgiving week was fantastic and much too short. The boys were out of school and family visited everything was wonderful.

2. I seriously canNOT believe it's almost December. I have been saying that all year.

3. My Zman will be 7 in 3 months. Wowza.

4. Gavin has been calling us Mom and Dad. No Mommy and Daddy...Mom and Dad. Cute, but so big. His older brothers are not catching on just yet.

5. I am so excited about bring 2 new little ones into this house I can't hardly stand it.

6. Speaky of...I tossed a little "donate" button up over there. I am mentally working on a way to help soften the blow of some of the costs we will be hit up with over the next year or so. Using my skillz.

7. I am not sure how I really feel about that little donate button over there. But it's really no secret how much adoption (or childbirth for that matter) costs.

8. It's cold here today...like 40's but seriously it feels like Alaska out there--ok not really but this southern girl this so.

9. I have worked my hiney off today getting sessions edited. One more to go and I can get working on my own Christmas cards.

10. I love Christmas Cards. I have sent them out since I was in high school.

11. We put up our tree this weekend. Awesomeness.

12. I love Christmas, but wish the buy buy buy could get toned down a little bit. I love me some shopping but for real folks we get a little crazy about it.

Woodsmen er boys

The boys have discovered the joy that is tromping thru the woods, looking for the best hideout. Sadly for me the only way to "the best hideout" is straight thru the mud. Muddy clothes, muddy shoes, and muddy little boys are frequenting my days lately....I am trying to enjoy their exploration and am a-ok with dirty kids, just not fond of the 457 loads of laundry. But I am trying to keep my mouth shut on it and let them do their thing--I have been moderately successful. Request #1 at least TRY to not get muddy, at least not so muddy you have to completely change clothes 97 times, request #2 please wear your boots and not every pair of your tennis shoes--you will have no shoes for school. I think these are fair.

Honestly I am just so happy that they have been back there playing that I don't care too much. So happy that we were able to get things cleared out enough that they can go back there, it's progress! Back there btw is our yard--we have roughly an acre and our house is pretty close to the street in the front so that leaves a lot of yard in the back. The house is up on a hill and then it levels out--across the little stream. There we have a swing set up for them and are working on clearing all the thorns and underbrush out so they have a level area to play. It's full of giant trees and several little clearing areas.

The wait is on

Our docs are now with our government folks waiting on approval. I expect to receive that sometime towards the end of Jan/beginning of Feb. Which is so not long and will be here before I know it....because with that is a soon to be 7 year old. Yikes. Not sure how that is possible--but here it is Mr. Zman is almost 7. Soon I will have a 9, 7, and a 5 year old. We are on our odd years this year....but holy crap that's one year away from 1-0. And less than a year away from all 3 boys in school. Again. Yikes.

One of the new challenges for me with the adoption is the inability to plan. Like I can't really buy much other than a mattress---or will I need 2? Or will I need the crib? I am mentally preparing for 2 twin mattresses--and at some point we will probably go ahead and buy those. But I can't buy clothes or toys or other furniture really. Because we could have 1 child, 1 boy and 1 girl, 2 girls, 2 boys. They could be anywhere from 6 months(not likely) to nearly 5. We are pretty much set for boy clothes well provided it's a 3 year old boy and it's summer....anything under that we don't have anymore. So if you know me this is like torture. I like to plan but mostly I like to shop...and I really love to shop for kiddo's and their clothes and room accessories. I have a few things I have glanced at for sure, but I have to stay far away from the dot com's...and at Christmas no less. Eek. Fingers crossed for my self control---though I don't think it will be too hard with us looking at such a potentially long time frame buying anything would just be silly especially with so many unknowns!

This weekend I trekked up to Nashville for a weekend chalked full of sessions...it was gorgeous weather and I had a nice little weekend alone. A busy one but full of successful sessions that I walked away from feeling great about, which is always nice. A nice little boost to the self confidence is always welcome! Plus the boysies missed me and that makes me feel extra special too :) Fantastic-ness.

Happy Dance

First off overnight shipping is amazing. That's some serious movement going on...package A picked up in Georgia approx 4:30 pm arrives in TX approx. 12:30 am, will be delivered to said location no later than 10:30am. I am impressed. It would take me a day if I drove it there myself, longer because I do need to sleep, eat, etc. And a day of it having personal one on one attention, this little package is traveling with hundreds of package friends. Again, I am impressed. And probably should lay off the coffee. Maybe.

Anyway. Final, notarized, and completed home study is, according to an unnamed carrier's website, waiting to be delivered to our agency by 10:30 this morning. Once that happens, it will be checked over and then stuffed right back into an envelope along with our I800A and our check and rushed on down/up/over to USCIS. Rock on with your bad self, this is a good thing. In roughly 60-90 days we will then receive our nice little approval--because duh what reason would they have to NOT approve it (*knock on wood* hoping I didn't jynx us right there). And then everything is off to C-o-l-O-m-b-i-a. Awesomeness. I know you are doing a happy dance too--no? Have a couple cups of coffee.

ETA: Package was signed for at 10:03 am. Wow.

ETA(again): Everything looked perfect, I800A was sent to USCIS Friday afternoon!

Grown

Someone Thinks He's Big.

Dream a little dream.

Ever since I was a little kid I have had the profound thought (for a kid) that maybe my life was really just a dream. What if instead of this all being real it was a dream. No, I promise I am not crazy. Not really. I remember standing on the playground in roughly 3rd grade at a school I hated wondering if maybe none of this was real. My life as a child wasn't awful but it certainly wasn't the happy childhood everyone dreams up for their children. But in perspective it was pretty ok. I turned out pretty decent and so did my brothers and really that's all that matters. Fast forward 22 years or so and you get me, now. Occasionally the thought flies past that oh no, this is a dream--this life it's just a dream. These little boys are a dream. I find myself quickly looking around for a sign that it's real--oh whew a toy on the floor, a dirty sock, a tipped over shoe, the car seat in the back--yes, yes this really is my life.

So the other day when this fleeting thought ran thru my head and I did a quick glance in the back seat for a car seat I wondered why this is a thought I have had from time to time. Honestly I have no answer for that--though as an adult now I like to think that it's because my kids are like a dream. That my everything is like a dream--a good dream of course. All of the ups and downs help keep things in perspective and interesting, because duh what's a good dream without climactic points. So really it's not all perfect, just perfect for me. Complete with flaws and screw ups--I loose my patience, I spend too much time on the computer, I don't spend enough time playing with my kids, I am forgetful, I can be a wee bit critical of others at times--though I am good and reeling that back in and think that this is something so many need to work on. Especially women, so quick to judge and criticize. "Walk a mile" Anyway so NOT my point. Honestly I started this post 2 days ago and started veering off course, had to deal with a kiddo, and really am not sure that I ever had a point. Just something that I thought about while driving alone the other day, when I did a quick glance to the back seat. And then let out a barely audible probably mental "whew it's real, they are real" sigh.

These kids are amazing. I suppose all kids are amazing, especially in their parents eye. But guys these little rascals rock my world. The other day Zachary's teacher stopped me just to let me know that "He is such a joy to have in class, and she LOVES him, and he's so sweet and so funny" How awesome is that? And Gavin overheard us discussing what 5x2 is and chimed in stating no 5x2 is 7 not 10. Well of course he doesn't know what times is and jumped to addition but um Hello---that's right!? So we quizzed him on a few and by gholly he got quite a few right and then says "You know I know that because I counted in my head" Reaheallly? Mr. Smarty Pants. And Jakeb, my sweet Jakeb. He's doing so awesome, making friends and good grades and has straight A's and is so helpful these days. They are just good boys--and some of it is good parenting sure--I will take some credit but honestly they are just sweet little boys. So while some may be us, more is just them. Their personalities and demeanors...fantastic little guys.

I will dream this dream over and over everyday. And I am glad you are part of it too.

Rainy Monday Ramblings

It's a dreary rainy day here today. But something about these few and far between days is relaxing lately. The leaves all around here are absolutely gorgeous. Except those all over the yard that we spent all summer cleaning, sigh. The boys are vegging watching TV and relaxing, the animals are hovering around my desk...reminding me that they think I rock. And I am pretty sure they are very sorry for vomiting on the carpet at 4 in the morning. It happens, and because it did I took a little snooze with Gavin this afternoon all snuggled up in my comfy bed.

Today I wore my very first pair of skinny jeans and boots, the rainy day made for a good excuse--boots=no wet jeans. Score. Not sure how I feel about the look--it's cute on others, I am sure it's decent on me. Just call me Trendy. Or don't because I am so not. But I try, or something.

I goofed when I sent my paperwork to our agency last week and didn't sign one of the pages, so I need to send it again. Oops!

We finished painting the boys rooms this weekend, YAY for another completed project, and they look mighty fantastic. Eventually I will post some pictures--too dark today to take any.
I also started on the new kiddo's room, though not sure the main color just yet...all 3 kid's rooms have a brown accent wall, so I went ahead and did that. I think I will go with a shade of green on the other 3 walls. Not being able to plan is really hard for this hardcore planner. But you can bet your tooshie anything and everything I can do to prepare will be done. It's just what I do.

Thanksgiving Day head count is currently 17. Can't wait to host our first shindig in our new house. But holy crap how is it Thanksgiving already!

Basically that's all I got, I suppose.

One step closer

Our agency received our home study draft a little over a week ago. I was hoping to have it back this past week but our caseworker is actually in Colombia right now so that is slowing it down just a tad. Once they review it and ok it we will have a final copy and can officially send everything off to the US for approval.

I did send the I800A along with my check on Wednesday to our agency so once they get the official final Home Study report off it goes to the government!

Hoping to receive our approval sometime in February and then be sending our Dossier off sometime that month.

The month that Zachario turn S.E.V.E.N Wowzers.

Animal House

Every single time I clean up cat throw up off my brand new carpet or dog drool marks off the window for the umpteenth time I kick my self for owning so many blasted animals. Or I dunno dropping $500 for the cat to have surgery to remove an abscess. The lady at the "discount vet place" says I have sucker stamped on my forehead. This is probably true but I kinda love the little carpet ruining, window marking, destroyers of my house. And this time I am not talking about the boys. Because truth be told the animals destroy more than the kids.

This past weekend we had new friends over for dinner. A problem Robert and I run into in our "social circle" (if you can call it that) is that we are often a good deal younger than most folks we run into, especially if they have children our boys age. So we feel the extra need to impress and show off our maturity--which of course comes easy because we are just cool like that...or something. This particular friend set has never been to our house, so of course we are planning our best behavior. We didn't need to do the mad dash to clean because well it was relatively decent and again my motto is "wipe the piss off the toilets and we are good" (that's my mature side talking). Plus their boys had been over during the day so I could blame any extra mess on the 5 boys running thru the house. Easy peasy. So family comes in and with in fives minutes are molested by Maddie, the please make out with me while I maul you with my paws and hair dog, and have their kids coat puked on by the always puking bulimic cat. Lovely. Hello and welcome to our home. Damn animals. So Maddie is banished to her kennel where she proceeds to pee on everything. Kids wanted to show their parents the stitched up $500 cat so they all tromp upstairs to the guest room where they are greeted with a nasty stained up crime scene of a bed courtesy of a drain tube in her side. We made quite the impression obviously. We did wash their coat, feed them a tasty dinner and wine in hopes that they got tipsy enough to forget the horror of the evening.

WARNING: if you don't like seeing 6 inches of stitches in a cats side go no further....consider yourself warned.

(and side note that I probably don't need to make but am going to anyway...this is taken right when she came home, I promptly removed all bedding from the bed and tossed old sheets on the bed--so as not to ruin and nastify the guest room--said sheets have gone straight to the trash)

Rockets to the sky

No guesses...but that's cool I am used to no responses--hello I have 3 kids and it was a tricky question for the 2 of you ;) So anyway at the Apple Farm they had all sorts of fun things for the kids to do...Pillow Bounce, pony rides, playground, petting "zoo", giant slide, zip line, tricycle track etc etc. Now the pillow bounce thing was t-totally awesome and I really wanted to jump on and go to town but this was sadly not allowed.

Zachary and Gavin's favorite part of the entire trip was the trampoline bungee jump thing. I am not even kidding when I say those 2 are all about some dare devil'ness, higher and higher they kept asking to go and flipping and bouncing. They could have done it for hours. Zachary did hesistate just a wee bit when they did get him higher and pulled his feet all the way to the ground and let him go. Yes he shot way up like a kid in a giant sling shot. Cus um that's what he was.

Best Medicine

I don't know when it was I noticed, it was some time ago...but I was losing my laughter. My sense of humor. Caught up in life and the busy-ness and seriousness of it all. The stress of raising a family and the immense amount of pressure I feel to be a good mother and a good wife. It's often overwhelming--very often. But in the midst of all that the biggest and most important part of being a good wife and good mother and a good Rachel is laughing. Because when we laugh we relax, we are genuine, and we are happy. So I made it my personal goal to relax and to laugh. Seems like such an easy mundane task--to laugh really!? I mean sure I was laughing a chuckle here and there and a brief smile and the occasional belly laugh but those genuine laughs were much too few and far between. Easier said than done...to be able to laugh I need to slow down and catch those moments that will make me laugh. That's hard work when you are keeping up with 3 boys, 5 pets, a husband, a house, schedules, and life. But it helps, oh does it ever help. I am a funny girl--it's what I do. I laugh, I make others laugh, to loose that would be to loose me. It's what attracted Robert to me...that and those grey pants I have long since out grown but have kept just because. It's what attracted me to Robert he could make me laugh and he laughed at me. We laughed. We giggled. And now we have 3 little ones (and soon 2 more!) and they make us laugh. But I will miss it if I don't slow down and let them. Today we did.

Today was filled with laughter and it was wonderful.

We are hosting Thanksgiving this year and my family makes me laugh--so hard. It's what they do. And oh can they laugh. I can't wait.

and in case you need a good laugh--embarrassing yes, but I will do that for you--notice the lack of hair, that's it folks I am not kidding what I say it's thin.

Punky Punkin Punk

I have never called my kiddo's Punkin....instead I have shortened it to Punky, one time I shortened it to Punk and giggled because that just wouldn't work. Punky barely does. Right now they are often referred to as "Z", "J-baby", and "Boog" which is not short for booger....in my head it's a variation of bug but to ensure that it is properly pronounced I imagine one must spell it "boog". All of this to say that we went to the Pumpkin Apple Farm a couple weeks ago. Grandpa tagged along and it was decided this was the best Pumpkin Apple Farm we have ever been to

ETA: So after posting I usually do a once over of the finished product on the blog and I am cracking up at my unintentional arrangement of photos...As I finish up that this is the "bestPumpkin Apple Farm we have ever been to..." I follow it with a "Moonshine" sign. A) no pun intended and B) no moonshine was had or purchased.

And there is one other activity that Z and Boog did while the were at the farm that certainly deserves it's very own post....something that most definitely shows off their matching daredevil tendencies. Any ideas what that was!? A hint: They shot up like rockets!

Leaves of Change

But not really. Part of the reason I felt...feel confident in our decision to adopt and to adopt "now" is that I feel our family growing and improving and I know that now we are ready. I can't quite put it into words but there is a sense of calm and contentment here. I know Robert is feeling the same way...he doesn't have to say it, but I can tell. We are settling into our lives and it's comfortable in a very perfect way. Sure there are ups and downs and glitches along the way (thank you water heater for breaking...and thank you cat for needing surgery) but the comfort I feel with us, is lovely.

I imagine Robert being home has a good deal to do with this...and I can't think of a single reason to complain about that. Meals are being made regularly, kids are participating in activities, and house improvements are getting completed. Him being home every night is just awesome.

We have a larger-ish family and for some that just won't work but for us it does. Some days I wonder how, but yet everyday it does. I find myself nonchalantly shrugging my shoulders and mumbling to people that we are going to adopt. Most of the time I don't even mention that we are looking to adopt two children. I just can't handle the gasps, bulging eyes, and the "wow your crazy" comments. Not yet. People don't understand and I am working on my strength and confidence to tell them. Yes we will have 5 children, yes we understand what that means--as much as we can right now, yes we may struggle paying for college, no they won't be loved any less, no it won't take away from the 3 children we have now, yes they know and are so excited, and so are we.

When I look out my office window I see leaves scattered all over the yard, in our "Holly tree" is a branch from another tree an Oak I believe--it is stuck there, across the street is a perfectly colored orange and gold tree, and it's all so lovely watching them change and grow.

Good for something

Yesterday the boys were out of school...for "Teacher work day and Conferences" aka Go Vote! Which for the record Robert and I are feeling rather guilty for not voting. But in our defense we couldn't...we have yet to register to vote and honestly it snuck up on us--so yeah. Anyway.

They were home--actually they were all home Monday as well and Jakeb is home today again. He's not feeling well and Monday just seemed like a good day to let Zachary stay home--both his brothers were and well I just wanted to keep him home, so I did.

But yesterday I had the boys come into the basement/toy room and we cleaned and organized everything. Something we had not done since we moved everything down there. And being that I like organization that's what we did. This resulted in tears of course but I reminded them that they will find long lost toys and it will be easier to play and get to things if it's put away like it should be. And I will have you know that Jakeb told me Thank you not once but like 3 times yesterday. As in "Thank you for helping us organize and clean up our toys"...3 times. This after shedding many tears. Yes, yes I know he's sick but he was really just sitting sorting Lego's from Bionicles. Which also made him realize they have "too many Lego's".

I sort thru their toys often....we toss, sell, and give what they don't play with a lot. So really we don't have odds and ends floating around--at least not for long. We aren't hitting fast food very often these days so dinky kid's meal toys aren't floating around for months and we don't buy new toys often. But I still think they have a lot of toys...most of which they rarely play with...but seriously in comparison to what most kids have they don't. We have lots of Lego's, lot's Bionicles, and lots of Hot Wheels. We don't have multiple game systems and buckets of toys upon buckets of toys. Sometimes I feel bad because they don't have as much as other kids--but then I remind myself that it's by choice that they don't. Sometimes I get caught up trying to keep up..."Little Billy has that toy?? Well by golly you should too!" and then I remind myself that we don't buy it because it's not what I want them to know. Not to mention that because I go thru their toys a lot, I also see how much money has been wasted on toys and it's a lot. Like A LOT. Because they just don't use it, don't need it, and don't care. So instead of getting caught up in keeping up--I clean up and remember why we choose not to buy. That's not what we want them to learn.

And instead I buy them clothes. Because they soooo need 47 pairs of blue jeans. I promise. And I also promise I am working on that too.

and also these pictures are from last year at our old house.

Halloween

Some shots from Halloween this weekend....the boys had a good time and we have more candy than we could possibly ever eat. Next year I am asking for nickels because we would have a nice jump start to college funds if we got a nickel from each person instead of candy that is going to end up in the trash. Just sayin'. And it goes in the trash because sadly we COULD eat it all, without too much dedication.