Leaves of Change

But not really. Part of the reason I felt...feel confident in our decision to adopt and to adopt "now" is that I feel our family growing and improving and I know that now we are ready. I can't quite put it into words but there is a sense of calm and contentment here. I know Robert is feeling the same way...he doesn't have to say it, but I can tell. We are settling into our lives and it's comfortable in a very perfect way. Sure there are ups and downs and glitches along the way (thank you water heater for breaking...and thank you cat for needing surgery) but the comfort I feel with us, is lovely.

I imagine Robert being home has a good deal to do with this...and I can't think of a single reason to complain about that. Meals are being made regularly, kids are participating in activities, and house improvements are getting completed. Him being home every night is just awesome.

We have a larger-ish family and for some that just won't work but for us it does. Some days I wonder how, but yet everyday it does. I find myself nonchalantly shrugging my shoulders and mumbling to people that we are going to adopt. Most of the time I don't even mention that we are looking to adopt two children. I just can't handle the gasps, bulging eyes, and the "wow your crazy" comments. Not yet. People don't understand and I am working on my strength and confidence to tell them. Yes we will have 5 children, yes we understand what that means--as much as we can right now, yes we may struggle paying for college, no they won't be loved any less, no it won't take away from the 3 children we have now, yes they know and are so excited, and so are we.

When I look out my office window I see leaves scattered all over the yard, in our "Holly tree" is a branch from another tree an Oak I believe--it is stuck there, across the street is a perfectly colored orange and gold tree, and it's all so lovely watching them change and grow.