8-tween.

I was under the false impression that one isn't a tween until they are 10...you know double digits. Apparently tween-hood starts roughly around 8. So this would be the category that my sweet Jakey boy falls into. I am sorry what?

However much I would like to deny the fact that he is, in fact, getting older his actions lately are not letting me. This past week the big boys were "busted" trying to smuggle their DS's to school...to play on the bus ride home. The like 10 minute

bus ride that is "sooo long and they have nothing to dooooo" So I was the mean mom that found out (note to Zachary: if you insist that you should pack your bag and that I not look in your bag...I will in fact look in your bag. ) and then confiscated said $130 toy. Tears were shed and stomping ensued. On the ride to school I discussed with them why they couldn't bring them and how I wish they wouldn't try to sneak like that (even though I know they will again) because I will find out and they will get in trouble. To which Jakeb responded, "Yeah well, I like taking risks..." in a smug tone. I believe I stammered over my words and in fact sat there trying to figure out exactly how to respond. As it was I didn't. Jakeb is pretty much a non risk taker...feet planted firmly on the ground where it's nice and safe. So this comment was pretty much just comical. BUT um Hello he's 8, not 15.

Friday, in the tradition of Halloween, the kids could wear a "book character costume" aka their Halloween costume to school. Jakeb was beyond excited about his costume...that is until Friday on the way to school. His nerves got the best of him and he took it off. Apparently some punk kid has said Star Wars is stupid and Jakeb was too worried about that to wear it. What I wanted to tell Jakeb was who cares what some kid says....but along with that I get it. While I want him to overall not care what other kids think, I don't think telling him to get over and go with it is great either. There's such a fine line. It basically sucks. I was a kid once a very self conscience kid, very worried what others thought...it held me back...it still does. I don't want my kids overcome with that feeling--it really is awful. I just couldn't send him off feeling horrid nerves...so we compromised and I told him I thought he would be fine and should wear it, BUT if he wanted he could take it off and toss it in his bag. This is what he did and when I arrived for their "party" I found him in his costume. The problem is in 3rd grade some kids are growing past Star Wars, Lego's and toys (or at least they claim to be)....some are not. Jakeb is not. He's still for the most part a little boy. But he's crossing over and it's hard. For both of us. Finding his way, finding where he fits in. He's at a new school, new friends, and that's hard too. He calls me Mommy and snuggles on the couch but he's riddled with attitude, emotions, and has the beginnings of a chip on his shoulder. I hope we figure this out together and not apart...at least not always.

I see you and you see me

Over the years of my life I have learned that I am a relatively observant person....well most of the time. Let's not talk about the time(s) I have backed into a car in our driveway that was behind my car....aside from that I am observant. Pretty much.

Today a saw a car at the bank...a SUV actually. No biggie I see cars all the time of course. BUT this car--er SUV made me do a double take because I was behind this specific car yesterday at a stop light 10 miles away. I know it was the same SUV because it had those little stick people figures on the back window. 4 little girls, a baby, and 2 dogs. I noticed because duh...that's like a lot of people and wow 4 girls and aww I wonder if the baby is a boy and wow 2 dogs too...they are crazy like we are. Cool. So I remembered the car...but seriously this is Atlanta area it's not like it's a tiny town, so it struck me as odd. Because hello same car 10 miles away. But it also made me think about all the other times I have had that happen. Like several times--not with this car but other cars. Both here and when we lived in TN. And then I thought about really how small the world can be and how I often see a person at one store, go to a next store and see them there too. And that's just the people I remember...how many more run a parallel life to me, at least some of the time. It's a lot to think about really. I don't know what it all means for me...or why I see these people multiple times thru a plethora of so many other people. It probably means nothing other than to show me that I am not alone and neither are they....no one is. But sometimes I want to walk up to them and say "hey so I saw you last week, and then again yesterday, and wow here you are again today...so am I crazy or does it just seem obvious that we should meet? Yes, your right I am probably just crazy but you have to admit so is this situation. Wait you didn't notice me...hmm ok well this is uncomfortable." So I have yet to walk up to one of these random strangers--because really that's just not my style, like at all. Though random note, most people do not believe me when I tell them I am crazy shy. No really I am I swear. Really. Anyway--I don't talk to strangers and I think that maybe I just notice people for whatever reason call it more observant. Probably something simple like I should really watch the road better instead of checking out the car next to me.

Pay attention...be observant. Does this happen to you?

(picture: sometime in 2009--please disregard dirty dishes on the counter and clean dishes in the sink ;) )

12 on 2sday

1. It's raining here. Finally. The windows are open there is a breeze and rain on the leaves. Awesome. Yes.

2. I am on the ball with adoption paperwork. Mover and a groover that is me.

3. We met with a psychologist this past week for our analysis, she has adopted children herself and gave us some wonderful thinks to think about and realize. It was great.

4. I am going to get caught up on pictures THIS.WEEK. I mean it.

5. Our house is coming together piece by piece...furniture in the dining room--mission complete. Furniture in the sunroom--mission underway.

6. I have discovered Pandora. Seriously. Cool.

7. I also got a Droid this past week....more cool. (Note to self:this is not part of the saving money thing)

8. My dad is moving here. I think this is great. Except when it's not.

9. This past Friday he took Gavin to school for me so I could attend Jakeb's field trip....he couldn't find Gavin's shoes so he sent him to school in soccer cleats. Zachary's soccer cleats. Gavin is 4. Zachary is 6. They were cleats. Cleats that he found in the guest bedroom closet. For the record Gavin's shoes were in his closet...in the room with his name on the wall. And I have a phone, a new phone in fact.

10. Random fact: I am neurotic particular about how my kids are dressed. Very particular.

11. I am loving getting to kick it with my Gbabes. Today we hit up craft time at the library and lunch at the Chick--which I eat at at least 3 times a week. (this is also not saving money--grr)

12. My grandfather had a bird clock in his bedroom--not a cuckoo clock, just a regular ole clock with hands and a battery and a face--but at each number is a bird. And on the hour whatever bird it's on that bird makes a noise. And right now the American Robin just let me know it's 7pm. I don't know where to hang this clock...it doesn't match my house, so it's sitting behind my desk and I think I like it right here by me. But it deserves a home on the wall.

From behind the bus.

This past week was field trip central at the boys school. Wednesday I loaded my happy self into the caravan of cars following the big yellow bus down 10 lanes of traffic, thru Atlanta traffic at rush hour for a day of exploring at Zoo Atlanta. Now folks any city at rush hour pretty much blows, Atlanta however is known for traffic. This day was no different and we were left with 5 seconds to run thru the zoo and meet for lunch. Not really but it sure went by fast. And for the record Atlanta traffic isn't that bad it's just that 10-12 lanes of slow moving traffic is a bit more daunting that 4-6. Anyway...It was good times hanging out with 6 and 7 year old monkeys and Zachary seemed to have a grand ole' time. The highlight was holding the map and finding the god forsaken KOMODO DRAGON, because omg we asked to see it like 14356342 times....and do you know what 6 and 7 year old boys do when they do finally see the Komodo Dragon behind the glass laying on concrete not moving? Exactly...shrug and walk off. Cool. But overall the trip was cool, just getting to hang out with my boy and his peeps is fun so yeah. The kids are cute and they say things like "yeah my mom is on a diet" and "well my dad couldn't come because he didn't have enough money...or maybe he just didn't want to". I mean that alone is worth the trip and the $8.50. Yet makes me wonder what Zachary says when I am not around, I just won't think about that. Good times with my Zman even if he talks smack about me behind my back. I still love to kick it with him and his buddies.

Jakeb's class had a trip to Amicalola Falls State Park. Same idea...parents in their cars following the bus...however this was down windy roads in the fall sans traffic. Which is basically right up my ally. So the drive was nice. And despite already having gone to the park, I was looking forward to checking out the 3rd graders and see just what being 8 and 9 is all about in 2010. Pretty much the same just lots more usage of the word "Dude" than I recall. And I learned quite a bit about O'possum's and how surprisingly snugly they are when they aren't smashed into the blacktop. Granted I didn't get to hold one but park lady held and cuddled that little Petunia possum like she was a itty bitty baby and it wasn't that weird really. Did you know that don't really hang upside down and sleep in the tree's? And that if they didn't turn into roadkill or get eaten by like every other animal in the happy forest they could potentially have 40,000 descendants from one possum. No that's not a typo. Wow. So 3rd graders are interesting. It seems that they start maturing emotionally a bit more about this age and some are jumping into this progression already and some...not so much. Mine being one of them. I overheard the discussion of the usage of Mom vs. Mommy. Apparently in 3rd grade "Mommy" is not cool, "Mom" cool. So when Jakeb proceeded to call me "Mommy" 47 times at lunch I wanted to educate him on the cool factor...but his pals didn't notice, so I resisted the urge to rescue him from his sure fate of forever being exiled for referring to me as Mommy. But dang that sucks, because in 3rd grade groups and coolness starts and that is just no fun. However the field trip was fun and Jakeb had a good time and we jetted out of there early and fully educated on possum's and proper parental namage. And again it was good to kick it with my 8 year old and his buds. Who for the record are just as mature as Jakeb---and still rock the air light saber complete with sound effects and fully prepared fighting moves. Little boys for a little while longer, be still my heart. I did ask Jakeb if he thought he should call me Mom now instead of Mommy....and he thought probably he should, so he and Zachary said that a few times until we decided it sounded weird. So I am Mommy for just a little while longer.

Lovely Love

It occurred to me that not much thought or action was given to a relatively important day of the year that just passed. October 20th. What did is this you ask? Our anniversary. Yes, yes...9 years ago Wednesday we were joined in holy matrimony. Wow. Nine years. Crazy. Seems like just yesterday of course but also light years away. My oh my how we have grown and changed in 9 years. Such babies we were.

Nine years ago I was not yet a mother. Not completely anyway. I was pregnant with Jakeb when we got married and so scared I was getting married for the wrong reasons, almost confident I wasn't but scared none the less. I mean really....you see it happen all the time. Couple gets pregnant, couple gets married, couple has baby, couple has another baby, couple gets divorced. Everyone says they saw it coming. Getting married young is hard, really hard. It was never in my dream or vision. But it worked and it's worked wonderfully. Certainly not without it's ups and downs...but right now we are on an up. Better than ever. Age, maturity, and flat out faith and love in and for each other have been the key.

Basically Robert is awesome. He's a wonderful father and wonderful man in general. We compliment each other in so many ways a perfect pair in a sense.

So Happy nine years to us. I would do it again everyday and everyday is better than the day before it--and that day was pretty fantastic. We aren't perfect but we are perfect for each other.

Hard Hat for his head and my heart

Zman is going to be forced into a hard hat from here on out.

Robert took the day off so that we could get some tasks done that are required of us for the adoption--ie psychological analysis and FBI fingerprinting.

After we finished everything up we snagged Gavin from our friend that watched him today and decided to kill some time cruising around for just a bit before we had to get home for Jakeb and Zachary. 5 minutes into that decision we get a phone call from a very panicked 1st grade teacher that told us we need to come get Zachary at school right now...after I picked up my heart off the floor--because let's face it Zachary is a boy and a boy who gets hurt frequently and keeps my heart racing--I learned from his teacher that he slid down the slide (upside down--of course) and hit his head on a rock. Said rock punctured his head and left him with blood nearly spurting from his noggin and his teacher with a panic attack (not really but almost). He apparently walked up to her nonchalantly telling her he got hurt with blood running down his face. Never shed a tear. We rushed up to the school and found him cleaned up as best they could and with pink hair and splotchy polka dot clothes. Now everyone tells you head wounds bleed a lot but still when you see it, it's pretty dang scary. Kiddo is a-ok and milking it as much as he can...announcing periodically that he sure is feeling dizzy still. Thank you nurse for giving him that idea. The jumping and running around leads me to believe the dizziness is uh...all in his head. We did make a precautionary trip the ped's office just for a double check that stitches were not needed. Given the standard list of things to watch for for a concussion which I should just have painted on my kitchen wall as a daily reference at the rate we're going.

Criminal

In 1999 I got busted at a bar in Murfreesboro for drinking...Do the math, I was 19. I was pretty stupid about it really because I saw the guy--knew he was an undercover cop and being the genius that I was I proceded to shove my unstamped hand in my pocket, pick up my beer, and walk right past him. "Can I see your id?" he asked. I responded with the usual "it's uh in the car.?" Problem was I was so obviously not 21 and I was obviously drinking. Duh. So I knew it was no use and gave it up in about 5 seconds. Two of my friends caught my eye and despite my head shaking and eyes that were clearly saying "stay away!!" they thought I needed rescuing from the old man who was so obviously hitting on me, except he wasn't and they got busted too. Oops. Thanks guys and um sorry.
Anyway fast forward 12 years almost to the day and we are working on adopting a foreign child. Yay us! Boo Rachel. Now this minor infraction won't hold up the adoption, I am not worried about that. But trying to track it down holy guacamole pinto's and beans! (I flippin' love Skippyjon Jones people) *I* being the honest, truthful person that I am (no really I am!) said to agency lady and home study lady..."Hey so way back in the day...I thought I was smart and cool and I drank and I got busted...and yeah...so is that an issue?" Issue? No, probably not. Buuttt you are going to have to get a record of it aaaannnd write out a "letter of remorse". Basically saying...sorry I drank 12 years ago and got busted and it didn't happen again.
But dang folks I feel like a straight up hardened criminal over this minor eensy weensy incident. Except I am not because I had traffic tickets that cost more and I didn't even get arrested and I barely had any alcohol in my system because let's face it I was 19 and I was drinking beer and basically I hated beer and was probably really only drinking it to be oh so cool. Except I really wasn't. And I really wish I could just bop on back to September 1999 and whisper into little Rachel's teenage head and say hey stupid..."Don't pick up that beer and walk by that guy, cus seriously what part of that sounds like it's intelligent" and maybe a few extra somethings like "stop being an idiot and go to class" and "cancel those damn credit cards!"
But basically I can't do that and I am pretty sure I am not a criminal--at least the lady at the sheriff's department didn't think so because she says I have no record. Duh. Yay Rachel.

(and maybe I would also tell little Rachel to lay off the french fries and sodas...damn skinny teenager.)

Lots to go

We finished gathering our first big bunch of papers for the adoption this past week(end). Giant sigh of relief on that. I am not kidding around about getting things done (well when I make the final decision to get something done)--so I have been on the ball. Even made little collage's of pictures that we will need for our Dossier that gets sent off to Colombia. I am not too clear on the length of time between now and when we are ready to submit our Dossier--which is the paperwork that goes to Colombia requesting to adopt a child from their country. I am guessing with the holidays and what not we should be submitting that around March give or take am month or so.

Our final home study visit is next weekend. Once that report is completed we will be submit our I-800 to the US. I-800 is the paperwork requesting to adopt a foreign child. While we wait for that approval we work on gathering all of our paperwork for the Colombian Dossier. We have some of it already but will need our home study and our psych eval. We are scheduled for that this Thursday. Then we have to send all of that off for final "approval" that they are legit documents--and then provided everything is looking good it's off to Colombia it goes!

So provided it all goes like I think it will we should be submitting sometime between Feb-April, and then we wait. Once we receive our approval from Colombia we are looking at roughly 2 years...but it could be 6 months, it could be 18 months, it could be 3 years...just depends. Either way I am so excited I can't hardly stand it. But I am and I will. Though, I can't wait to bring those 2 little sweet "babies" home. Our age bracket is 2 siblings ages 0-59 months...or newborn to almost 5. Yay and more yay. The kids are stoked and I wish it wasn't so long but it is and it gives us plenty of time to get our "ducks in a row" before becoming a family of s-e-v-e-n. Awesomeness.

Twenty nine

Today my younger brother turns 29. His last year in his 20's...crazy! Happy Birthday to my little brother, Bert Gee--who is really named Robert much like my husband, weird I know. Oddly enough as well my brother was called Bobby when he was a little boy and my husband, Robert, was called Bob. He may hurt me for letting that out, haha. Anyway Happy Happy Fantastic Birthday Day to my wittle bruva.

This weekend Robert's parents came down for a visit. We had a super nice time just hanging out. Yesterday we watched the boys soccer games. Which by the way they both are loving. Zachary's team lost 1-0, but this was their first loose so they were pretty indifferent about that...they are a pretty awesome little team though! And Jakeb's team has struggled A LOT, yesterdays game was their SIXTH game and they have only scored 1 goal up until yesterday where they scored FIVE and won. Everyone was so incredibly excited, it was awesome. And Jakey boy played his heart out--he did awesome and seems to finally be getting the concept of the game. They both are doing amazing but this is Jakeb's first time playing so he's behind a bit on his comfort level.

After soccer we hit up a few consignment/antique stores around--we have TONS of them here in ATL area. I didn't buy anything but certainly found things I liked--just nothing I had to have. I have specific peices of furniture I am wanting and am focused on that right now. We are working on furnishing the dining room and sunroom--all we lack is a love seat and a sideboard/buffet thingy in the dining room. It's coming together FINALLY. I am on the hunt for the perfect shelf/cabinet for the kitchen and found bar stools today. It's looking good up in here.

Some pics from the boys first soccer games...Jakeb is the one in the middle with his back to the camer running away--number 7
That's Zachary and his coach...he's number 8

Getting there

This past weekend was a crazy mess of business. We made at trek to Nashville for some visiting, photo taking, and furniture pickup. I had 4 sessions scattered around Nashville area to shot over the weekend as well as us having our own family pictures taken. Awesome.
We also had to swing by my grandparents house to pick up some items we had requested before the estate sale there this weekend. Wow. Not exactly sure where my emotions are with that--basically I am stuffing them. Shortly after the estate sale the property will be sold. Yes, sold. The property that has been my home for 30+ years will be gone--the house, the land, the pond, the barns. Sold. Robert and I were married there, 75% of my childhood was spent there...my memories of my grandparents are there, memories of playing all over that farm with my brothers--there. More stuffing on that for sure. Cool thing--it will be sold to Arrington Vineyards. They will now own just about all of my grandparents original property that the purchased 35 or so years ago. So that makes it a bit more tolerable. The sentimental side of me is upset but the practical side of me knows it's what has to happen. So that's that.

On the adoption front we are waiting on 1 form before sending in our final set of application docs to Gladney. We are halfway thru with our Home Study. Received all of our health docs yesterday and we both check out a-ok. Robert still needs to work on that cholesterol--just for the record mine is beyond perfect. Yes, Thank you very much. I still need to work on the ole diet--because that is for certain no where close to perfect. Though I am not aiming for perfect, just good would be nice.

Zachary seems to be doing a bit better. I talked to both Jakeb and Gavin--separately and it seems to have worked on their end of the issue. So good for them. Zachary has been having a hard time sleeping these days, not sure what's up with that other than he has always had some sleep struggles. Quite frustrating! I am not kidding around when it comes to bed time....8pm every night. 7:30 if I am really good. So to go up and find him awake at 10:15 (like he was last night) makes my blood boil. Yikes.

I am working on painting a "china cabinet" for our dining room--I found it on craigslist for a decent price so I am hoping it looks as great as I invision once it's all painted. Now we just need a dining room table set and a loveseat for the sunroom and we are good for a little while!

OH! Super exciting news for the kiddo's...their swingset FINALLY came in on Monday--the guys were out installing it Monday and the kids were SUPER excited to finally have it. So yay for that. 2 weeks turned to 4 not cool. But it's here.

The Middle Man

My sweet Zachary boy aka Z aka Zman aka Zachario seems to be having a rough time lately. My sweet dimple faced little boy is quite angry these days. I hate it for him and while I suspect the cause of his frustration and emotions lately, I hate that I can't remedy it immediately. Maybe it's the move, maybe it's that he's the middle guy, maybe it's that he's 6 fast approaching 7 and 7 is a hard age. I suspect it's a little of all of that combined. I really hope he grows up and knows how fantastically awesome he really is. His sweet tender heart mixed with lots of love and spunk. A sweet side and a wild side in one little boy, what a wonderful combo he is blessed with. This child can have fun anywhere and really have fun. He rocks the coolness in his little world without even trying and doesn't even know it.

Now truth be told Z gets in trouble at home frequently--but what he doesn't know is I often walk away laughing and giggling at what stunt he's tried to pull. Marveling at his creativity and thoughtfulness behind it...wondering how in the world did he think of that. Not just why. His wild side is ever prevalent on the home front...his love for throwing things, jumping on things, stomping, and just overall loudness has not decreased with age for Mr. Man. BUT it's all part of who he is and it's one fantastic package.

He's gotten old enough now that being bossed around by Jakeb just isn't going to fly...but his little brother isn't. So lately the days of endless hours of make believe and best buddiness with his big brother seem to have subsided--for now. Zachary is moving on to bigger and "better" things-- a mind of his own and for right now that is leaving him without a playmate at home often and that is hard for him. Gavin and Zachary have a love hate relationship--I still have faith that this will one day change. Such a challenge that can be some days. They poke and prod each other all day it seems. While Gavin thinks Jakeb hung the moon. Ho hum.

I hope we can work thru some of the emotions my sweet cuddle bug is struggling with right now. He's a fun loving happy guy and that's not showing as much lately. Being the middle man is hard but I hope we can remind him how awesome he is and that we really really know it. He's our fun guy, our happy go lucky, amazingly smart, smiley face, cuddle bug.

I have these two pictures of him in frames around the house and man how I miss that sweet chubby cheeked face toddler...could he get any cuter--oh wait he did! I love looking at these photos and seeing his sweet sweet little tiny boy face.

Boys

I have 3--or 4 of them depending on how you look at it. I am a girl. I am not a girly girl, but a girl none the less. My idea of playing was baby dolls, school, and bossing around my brothers. I can get dirty and I love the outdoors. I don't do much makeup or jewelry or really any sort of fashion...but I am still a girl. When I go attempt playtime with the boys I find myself suggesting things like "Hey! I have a great idea...let's organize your toys...it will be SO much fun!" Or "Oh I got it let's stack these Lego's in to color patterns, YES that will be so awesome!" "What do you mean this Lego house isn't cool enough...hello it has a slanted roof, windows, AND flowers!" It occurred to me a couple months ago that I play--like a girl. I don't particularly feel the need to take hot wheel cars and smash them together at 9432 miles an hr. Or build a lego tower just to see how it looks when it crumbles. I don't need to rip the arms off my transformers and scatter the pieces all over the world house. Or take sharpies to my robots *gasp* Not my idea of fun. Hello!? You just ruined it! Now I will say this can be fun...sometimes... but most days no. To my boys this is fun. What they don't find fun--organizing things or stacking by color or exploring the woods (crazy bugs, duh). They prefer to beat each other with swords or launch hot wheels down the banister...I try to play swords or light sabers with them...but it appears that they think "Oh she's bigger, we have to hit harder" it typically ends in tears, shed by me. Those boogers are stronger than they look. SO consequently our play sessions are limited to coloring (which is me coloring while they watch and say yeah um I am going to go build legos) and the occasional train conversation. The rest of the time I feel guilty for not being able to entertain them or not having sufficient ideas as to how to play with them successfully i.e free of injury. All the talk in the parenting world is how you must play with your child...spend time with them...show an interest in them. Makes sense and all but damn ya'll it's hard work. And makes me feel guilty as hell, and then I remind myself... No I don't play but I love spending time with my boysies, love it...really I do. I am a-ok to kick it with them all day. But I don't do Lego's (other than really cool houses for Obi Wan or Commander Cody), I don't do crashing hot wheels, or being beaten with a sword. I do talk, I do read, I do sing (badly), I love to tickle, I love to hug and kiss and I love to listen to them play and giggle with each other. Hopefully their therapy sessions about our lack of play time won't be too extensive.