Lego my eggo

All 3 of our boys...as most people (though are they really)...have very different personalities. Jakeb I describe as the rule follower, the thinker, the serious one. Zachary I would described as the fun loving, happy go lucky, fearless one. Gavin I would describe as the confident (in what he wants), bossy, demanding one. And each of those traits I think are great in their own way. None better than the other, all fabulous. I struggle with balancing. Making sure each child knows they are loved and cherished just as much as the other. Making sure one knows that their flaws are no more than their brothers. That their strong trait is just perfect for them. That their brothers are just different but no better.

The other day Robert took the boys to the pool. Our friend Hope was in town visiting so he took her 2 boys as well. After an hour or so at the pool he called us to let us know Jakeb was ready to come home. After retrieving Jakeb, I asked him why he was so ready to go home. His response was that he needed to come home and build with his Lego's. That while he was at the pool he got to thinking that he should build our family in a pool out of Lego's. My first thought was...I am sorry what? You are 8 years old and instead of playing at the pool with your friend you would rather come home and build a replica of your family at the pool out of Lego's?! But *this* is Jakeb. After years of trying to figure him out and thinking I know him he still constantly amazes me. Just as much and no more than his brothers do. In so many different amazing ways, just as they both do....but in their own way. And this is what I struggle with. Each difference. How do I remind each one of their amazingness? How I do I encourage that to shine. Because yesterday Jakeb was building Lego's of Love and the day before Zachary thought peeing in a squirt bottle, filling it with hot water, and shooting it at his younger brother was a good idea. (this did not happen because someone (not naming names-Jakeb) alerted me of this fact.) How do I not label him "bad" and his brother "good"...because that was beyond "bad". And he is not bad...he's sweet and loving, with a feisty streak. A feisty streak that will take him so very far, I can't even imagine. Personally I think peeing in a squirt bottle is a genius idea...provided you are shooting at your enemy...though in theory his younger brother shouldn't be. And lucky for him his little brother is just as fun loving and feisty as he is. How do I make sure they all 3 know they are amazing and awesome but just different. This is my daily struggle and worry. With more than 1 it's a battle. They are different...no better...no worse...just as amazing and just as different. And I love and adore and marvel at each of them in the same different way every day. And try to do the best I (We) can to make sure they know that as well.

Here.

is where I am.

We are trying to get settled here....not in TN but in Georgia. This comes with a great deal of mixed emotions that seem to hit me on and off throughout the day. I am absolutely smitten with our new house and all that I know we get to bring to it. But the thought of learning a new state, meeting new people, and all that comes with a state change is a bit overwhelming.

The first week hasn't come without hiccups. Within our first 5 min I discovered that our upstairs A/C unit is not working...again. We knew this but had hoped it had been repaired by my fantastic bro....but no dice. Unit has a leak and we must utilize the warranty that was purchased when we bought the house. By the rest of the evening we discovered a hefty leak in the kitchen that has caused damage to the wood flooring and the dry wall in the basement. Par for the course is what I keep telling myself...but after 24hrs of listening to the hum of fans and wondering exactly how we are going to foot the bill for all of this I am having a hard time remembering that. We are quite confident both of these issues should have been determined by our inspector. However the idea of calling him and "ripping him a new one" is nauseating for me. He is quite a nice man and from the same town we are--by chance. Robert has been elected for this task. Good luck to him.

Yesterday as I drove to Target it dawned on me...this is it. We aren't "home" anymore. We no longer live where I have lived my entire life. Wow. The last week was tough, though harder on Robert than me surprisingly. I had fretted and worried and cried a month before. The "lasts" were hard. The last time we would pick our boys up from the school Jakeb had gone to for the past 3 years. The last time they would attend karate with teachers we love. The last visit to the pediatrician that we adore. The last guitar lesson we had come to enjoy. The last visit with school friends and friends we know we just won't see again. It was just a difficult week. And quite frankly this one didn't start any easier. Here's hoping the next is fantabulous!

This evening we discovered a new friend in the garage. I will use the term "friend" lightly because I am quite positive he feels about me like I do about him. Don't touch me and we are a-ok. This new friend is a bright green froggy that likes our garage door. He is bright green with red eyes. The only place I have ever even seen a frog like this is at the zoo...Yikes. I thought I was "one with nature" apparently not as my trip to grab my purse from the van left me screaming for help. Ho hum...I can dig in the dirt as long as nothing that can crawl, walk, slither, or hop touches me.

The boys are adapting just fine...sleeping amazingly and rolling on into it. Summer break has started and they are thrilled. I am bummed the first week has started so hectically for them but they seem no worse for the wear. I can't wait to show them Mr. Red eyed Froggy picture in the morning....

Thirty and purty

Me at 30. At 30 years old I am finally finding me and being a-ok with me. I am full of flaws and full of wonderfulness. I am sensitive and caring and extraordinarily compassionate. I can't say no. I am hidden. I am opinionated when I need to be and often when I don't. I want. I love. I have a mean streak. I am happy. I laugh. I am unhappy. But I am ok with me. I am stubborn. I am funny. I am silly. I have 3 little boys who love me dearly. I am a wonderful mother. Sometimes I am a sucky mother. I yell. I worry so very much. I am scared. I am 30 and I am finally ok with me. I am more than ok with me. Most days I really like me. Some days I hate me, but know that is a ridiculous notion. I love to have fun. I am learning to have fun again, because I lost it for a while. I am beautiful in so many ways. I hurt. I ache. I am secret. I photograph. I cry. I am me. And my whole life I struggled to be anything but me, yet at 30 I know that's all I can be.
At 30 I have 3 little boys who rock my little tiny world. I long for more but love oh do I love what I have. At 30 I have been married for 8 1/2 years to a man who is amazing that I love like no other. I have 2 amazing parents who love me like no other. I have an fabulous family. I have rockin' friends.
Today at 30 years old while driving in the car with my 8 year old little boy and sharing with him a great many of my favorite songs. I drove with my arm out the window. My first notion was to pull it back in, because most 30 year old minivan driving mom's don't drive waving their arm to the music out the window. Then I began to wonder why not, why not? I did at 20, it's one of the reasons my husband liked me...I was carefree, I had fun. So why shouldn't I at 30? But at 30 I still love to ride with the windows down and the music up and every once in a while I dance my hand out the window to the music. And I smile. And for this moment today I love me and all that I am, all that have, all that I will be, and all that will be because of me.

SWAGGER WAGON

Weezer

Poor Gavin is sick....several months ago I would have added an exasperated again on the end of that statement. But for now he's just sick. Just a minor cold, nothing to be alarmed about...unless of course you are blessed with Asthma particularly this kind. A typical bout begins about like this...4pm notice it seems Gavin has gotten a slight runny nose....8pm Gavin goes to bed....11pm Gavin wakes up coughing to the point of needing a breathing treatment....2am needs another....6am wakes up again coughing and lots of labored quick breathing and determine a trip to the Dr. is probably in order. Now that we have been down this road many times we often wait the first day out which leaves me that evening kicking myself and wondering if we should hit up the ER. This time around the process was a bit more calm and we waited until day 2, and today I am kicking myself because I have never had my child tell me "I can't breath".

Makes ya panic just a wee bit. Thank goodness for nebulizers and fingers crossed this is something he out grows like his older brother did.

ETA: I did take him to the Doctor this morning, where he recieved a heavy duty treatment and a Rx for oral steroids.

Super Sunday Sixteen

1. I really need to catch up on my blog posting...lots to blog about really. Someone turned 3-0, someone went on a cruise, someone's entire state went under water...almost literally.

2. Someone has logged into their blog 10 times this week and can't form thoughts or know where to begin.

3. Yesterday was Gavin's 4th birthday PARTY. He had a blast...we rented a water slide thingy...TONS of kiddie fun.

4. We have 11 more days until we will be heading o.u.t.

5. Thursday evening my dad called me to tell me he found a kitten in my grandfather's basement. We now have a 4 week old kitten added into our zoo. Trust me when you see his face you will understand why he is now our kitten. Adorable doesn't even do him justice.

6. Did I mention 11 days?

7. Being able to stay here (at the In laws) has been nice...but so very hard for my organization-is-a-must mind set. This week I hit my wall. 7 people, 1 dog, 5 cats=crazy Rachel.

8. The new addition is named Patton...because he was found at my grandfather's--on Patton Rd.

9. It's raining here yet again. On Gavin's birthday 2 weeks ago all hell broke loose here. Water, water everywhere. Fortunately Robert's parents house was fine--but SOOO Many others weren't.

10. 11 days.

11. I can't believe that very soon I will have a THIRD grader and a FIRST grader. Wow.

12. My baby will start kindy in 1 yr. Oh.my.gawd.

13. We had a blast on the cruise. I held...HELD at sting ray...like a wild one...like in the ocean. It was like omg. so cool.

14. I am pretty sure I will have a panic attack and fall out on the floor if I have to fly again any time soon. Who knew I valued my life so much.

15. I can't wait to get back to the beach. This time with my rugrats.

16. We now have 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 3 cats...what am I thinking.

Four

Today we celebrate Gavin. He is 4. He is proud to be 4. Ear to ear grins at this milestone his best friends met months ago...he is ecstatic. At 12:14 4 years ago today...all 7lbs 6oz. And now at 4 he weighs in at roughly 30lbs. He's still a petite little guy but has enough personality for a 200lb man. I am pretty sure he thinks he is a 200lb man actually because he sure has enough opinion for one too. He's a fantastic boy. Most people think he's a laid back, easy going kid. Little do they know he's a feisty, ornery, silly boy. He's considerate and caring--for most people. We call him Prince Gavin. He is not fond of this title but it's quite fitting still. He wakes in the morning demanding milk. He asks to be covered by his blanket but gets angry if it's not "the white side". He likes things his way or the highway. We are slowing improving on this attitude but at 4 he's pretty sure that's how it goes. He's pretty sure Jakeb and Zachary hung the moon. Especially Jakeb. Zachary and Gavin have a love-hate relationship. Their all boy, silly, personalities are so similar that they butt heads. But watch out because they are very protective of each other. Gavin is an amazing little boy. He's cute, smart, bossy, opinionated, demanding, funny, and awesome. It's hard to describe him really without sounding like he's a bad boy. He's an awesome, awesome kid...but he tries our patience daily. But at the end of the day I sit back and laugh at his antics and try to figure out how to parent him best the next day. He is very stubborn and very strong willed and even more opinionated about how he wants things than I am--that's A LOT of opinion. I personally think it's awesome, he's going to be one kick ass adult. But at 4 it's hard for him and for us--though I seriously would not change one thing about him. It's nice to be kept on our toes! At 4 he knows every letter of the alphabet, he knows his numbers 1-10 and can count to 40--once he gets past the teens! He has been potty trained for nearly 2 years and has very few accidents. He still hates all fruit and has a love affair with chocalate. He eats salad and veggies with ease. He seems to grasp new concepts and ideas very easily. I love him with all my heart and am so proud of all he is.