Deep Breath....

taking a deep breath, lots of them...I am not feeling 100% and the kids have trashed the house. Neither of which makes me very happy. Trashed house = me on the edge of a psychotic episode.
I don't know what it is about a messy house that sends me over the edge...but when I walk around the corner and see a room that is d-e-s-t-r-o-y-e-d, it just about destroys my sanity. I try, I really try to be chill about it, but it just doesn't work. It's just something I.cannot.handle. Toys here and there I am just fine with but looking like someone took numerous buckets of toys and dumped them all over a room, combined with a smattering of toys, shoes, socks, blankets, and various other objects all over the house...and you get my head spinning and my vocal chords getting one heck of a work out. It's just not pretty, ask my housemates or you can just trust me on it.

Preschooler

Here are a few snaps of Gavin's first day of preschool/MDO's (2 weeks ago). As well as his "new" room.

Super Sunday Seventeen

A recurring event...

1. It's come to my knowledge this past week as I found myself printing off recipes for Chocolate pie, chocolate chip cookies, and brownies galore, after I found myself making numerous trips to DQ for a cookie dough blizzard, after noticing a cart full of chocolate covered deliciousness...that it appears I just may have a problem. It's not good, not good at all...but oh is it so good, so very good, but so very bad. I think I need rehab.

2. I am currently jamming to "Death Cab for Cutie" on itunes. I am not pleased that for some reason it keeps skipping...what's up with that?

3. I try to make it happen that we have at least one day a week at home where we go no where at all. If not for me at least for the kids. Now that they are in school it's very difficult. Though yesterday they didn't go a single place. This makes them happy. I like to give them some chill and play time.

4. I went to dinner last night with friends, we had a great time as always. I have a great many number of friends named Jennifer. It's weird and hard to keep up with at times. Last night I was with 2 of them...I think I was the odd man out.

5. The spending freeze we are on sucks big time. I want to buy things...bad. Things other than cookie dough blizzards from DQ.

6. Instead I have spent a great deal of time cleaning. We now have clean baseboards and windowsills.

7. Gavin will be back at school on Tuesday. They can handle him...actually he's perfect angel boy at school.

8. Jakeb and Zachary seem to be doing great at school. Jakeb made 100's on his 2 spelling tests.

9. We signed Jakeb up for Cub Scouts last week. Robert said when he was a kid Cub Scouts got teased awfully because of their uniforms...I really hope that's not the case now. It looks like LOTS of fun. I am excited for Jakeb and he is super stoked.

10. Can you believe it's already September? I sure can't

11. I have 2 sessions this weekend. This is good, I haven't had any in a couple months it seems. Though it is odd that it always seems to come in spurts.

12. I lost my battery charger for my camera, actually I left it in a hotel in DC. Jerks "claim" they can't find it...which means I need to buy a new one asap. Giant PITA.

13. UGH, my itunes just played half a song and then skipped it! Seriously What IS the deal? I did pay for these.

14. Robert's been gone a lot recently. It's hardest on Gavin it seems. He is super Daddy's boy lately. Hence him not liking me. No skin off my nose, I get Jakeb and Zachary. Especially Jakeb he is "always on my team".

15. OMG, seriously I would like to listen to this music.

16. I want a new tattoo, on my other wrist. I want a me tattoo there, something that has nothing to do with anyone but me. My neighbor about died when she saw the one I have...apparently that changes her view of me because I am "the June Cleaver" of the neighborhood. Now THAT is funny, almost hysterical.

17. I also have decided that one day I would really like to be a foster parent. Actually this has been something I have wanted to do forever. I want to help. I am good with children. I love kids and not just mine. Though since having my own, my take on them has changed. There is a lot that goes into it. I want to wait until Gavin, especially, is older. I don't think I can handle teenagers or special needs. From what I read it is an option to be specific as to what you think you can handle. I will find out more info, and get Robert on board first. No worries.

....and I will leave you with that.

'roids man...

As a result of Gavin's recent bout that landed us in the ER, he was prescribed a short round of steroids. Now this wasn't the first time he's had steroids and I expected him to be just fine on them as I don't recall having issues in the past. If you recall Zachary was on them for SIX weeks straight almost 2 years ago and that was a nightmare.
Um, right so it appears that Gavin turns into even more of a b-r-a-t than he can be without steroids. oh.my.good.lord. I have been kicked at, screamed at, hit at, told to go away, get away from me, leave me alone, don't look at me. That I am not nice, I am not fair, and today he told me "I don't like you anymore. I wish Daddy was here and not you." All this from a teeny tiny 27lb 3 year old. We have had fits galore. Whew it's been loads of fun. I am sure you are extremely jealous. Unfortunately today was the last day for the steroids, we are all just devastated to see the good times end.
On a not so bratty note...he asked me quite cutely today "How do they make dogs talk on TV?" I told him it wasn't real and he then started talking about how "Bumblebee" from Transformers talks and I said they used a computer to make him talk...to which he said "NOoo, he talks from his radio!" He's not a complete monster but pretty close.

Excuse me?

Since school started 2 weeks ago. Jakeb has asked me nearly every morning if he could stay home, whining about not wanting to go etc etc. It's gotten really old especially since he's been in school for a mere 10 days. This morning he for some reason thought that because I got him up 10 min later than normal that he was staying home. Though he was already up hence my "lateness"of coming up just to tell them to get dressed (which I shouldn't have had to do in the first place). So began our argument about why he can't stay home. He then said to me..."Well why do you get to stay home and rest all day, and I have to go to school. I am tired too." ohoh no he didn't. I nicely let him know I absolutely do not rest all day, that I spend most of my day cleaning up after he and his brothers. But maybe I should rest all day and let them do that, just sayin'. Needless to say the "I want to stay home from school" nonsense I am done with.

I did relinquish some control this morning and dropped Zachary off at the door instead of walking him in. He was fine with that, though I did wait for him to get thru the doors before pulling off...I don't remember going at this with such trepidation with Jakeb. I am sure I was just as nervous but Zachary seems so little. Gavin is not going to preschool today, the labored breathing and all seemed reason enough to get to stay home.

Ho hum

The kid across the street has strep throat. Today Jakeb informed me his throat has been hurting. Lovely. Thank you for the welcome back to school from the illness department. We are good, no thank you. Fingers crossed it's a fluke. As part of the "we are broke til payday" crisis we are currently having this week, copays and medicines are not really in the budget. And since we just dropped however much on meds for Gavin and just occurred yet another bill, thank you to the ER visit, I think we are good to go for the week. But I do (not) appreciate the offer, thanks anyway. Afterall the stomach virus that ran thru our house 2 weeks ago was sufficient enough. Please stay away.

Well that was fun..

So we are off to a bumpy start this Monday. We got up and out the door for school on time, however on the way to school we ran into some "traffic" ie the cars in front of me stopped suddenly which caused me to stop suddenly, as well as the cars behind me. Which of course caused a fender bender...thank god not with me but the car directly behind me got slammed into by the car behind them. Yikes was that a crunchy sound, and their front end crumpled. We debated on whether or not I should stop, I mean I did kinda see it happen however not really since it was behind me, plus if I stayed the kids would be very late. So on we went, I called Robert and he reassured me I was ok to go. So off to school we went, send Jakeb on to his class and walked Zachary to his. At which point I realize Zachary is awfully quiet, so ask him what's up and he tells me he doesn't want to go and doesn't want me to leave. Uhoh. We get to class, he drops off his things with his little locker and I go to tell him bye in class and he starts dropping the gigantic tears he gets. Yep, he cried :( Poor baby I hated to go and we waited for his teacher to be able to give him some attention and off I went. I wish I had thought to tell him I would come eat lunch with him because that would have solved any and all tears I am virtually positive, but now I am afraid to go and that he will cry when I leave then. We'll see how the day goes as to whether or not I can get there. Gavin is doing better but I don't know that I should drag him into the school. But I felt so bad for my poor Zman this morning. I am sure his day will be just fine.

ETA: Lunch with Zman was great, no tears and he was doing fine. Also sorry for the giant cluster of thoughts up there...that hurt my head to read. Wow.

Super Sunday 16.

Not in the mood for trying to piece together thoughts into paragraphs...this route is much better today.

1. I have been quite productive today, mopped the kitchen--if this had been the only task I did today I would still feel very productive as I despise mopping and rarely do it. Just don't lick my kitchen floor and your fine--and got Zachary's room painted. As well as one wall in Jakeb's.

2. This is all very good as we spent the better half of last night in the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital ER with a sick Gavin.

3. Gavin has asthma, so far his asthma seems to be flared up by viruses. This is what happened Friday and Saturday and finally hit a head yesterday and I gave up trying to manage it at home and we headed to the ER with him. This was his first ER visit, and he did very, very well.

4. The nurses loved him and said they wished all the patients were that good (and cute!). They set him up with a breathing treatment for 2 hours. This breathing treatment made him very jittery and sent his heart rate into the 180's, a lovely side effect. He was given a dose of Motrin and a dose of a steroid. He didn't sleep a wink the entire time we were there. We left at 1am. He does not have swine flu--good to know huh?

5. Jakeb and Zachary spent the night with Hope. Where they drove everyone in the house crazy with loud talking and giggling.

6. Because of the painting the boys are sleeping on the "couch bed" in the bonus room...right behind me.

7. As part of our "home beautification process" aka Rachel got bored and rearranged the house again...we have moved my office space into the bonus room, along with their toys, TV, and a couch. I actually really like it like this.

8. We also moved Gavin's room into what was the office, Gavin's previous room is ridiculously small and will now be a guest bedroom, once we actually put a bed in there. Which means there will be 6 various beds to sleep in here!

9. We have zilch for storage here and this does provide us with an extra closet to use which is mighty fine. I am always moving things around trying to figure out the best way to keep things organized yet accessible. This is a challenge.

10. Zachary will start his first full week of school tomorrow.

11. Jakeb is already asking if he can skip school...what am I going to do with that child.

12. I actually emailed Jakeb's teacher (and previous teacher) and guidance counselor at the school to see what they think about some of the "issues" Jakeb is having with school. Particularly not wanting to go and crying over homework. His confidence in himself is pretty low and it's troublesome for me.

13. The weather has been uh-mazing this weekend, like windows open a/c off, weather. I am loving it!

14. Jakeb asked me this past week "Hey Mommy, did you see the money you could be saving if you switched to Geico?" I am thinking we need a break from the TV.

15. He also walked up to me today and gave me his $8 from allowance because I have been telling him our money is so tight this week. He said "now you aren't poor!" Seriously could he be any sweeter?

16. I am beat. Poor Robert is too, Gavin has been glued to him all.day.long. If he even tries to walk away within 5 min Gavin is yelling "Daaaadddddyyyy". And he tells me to go away, and my feelings are not even hurt, they really aren't.

Oh Peanuts...

So the other day I was sitting in the living room with Zachary and Gavin and they are of course trying to snag Rosa (new kitten) from under the couch. I am again telling them to leave her alone for the 13224th time. Then realize that Zachary is saying "Peeennnisss, Oh Peeenisss" *cough* excuse me? I asked him why exactly he was saying that, or rather appearing to call the kitten that. And he says "what? that gets her attention..." I chuckle--it certainly got mine-- and ask him to think of something else to say to get her attention. Being that yelling penis for your cat, is wildly inappropriate and all. So they decided to change it to Peanuts, which of course sounds the flippin' same. Oy vey, boys. Had Jakeb been home he would have quickly stopped that nonsense and most likely been disgusted but his younger 2 hoodlum brothers.

That's a bummer...

So I have touched briefly in the past about finances and budgeting and maybe it's too touchy of a subject to broach but I am gonna just go for it. It seems that at least 2 times a month (not so coincidentally around payday) I do a quick run thru, a bit of a status check, pay bills etc. etc. I also get incredibly pissed off. At first I am mad at myself, then at Robert, then back to me...but then I look around and try to blame something, someone, anyone else. And guess what I can, I really can AND I have a justifiable argument. I on a daily basis get loads of emails letting me know this store, that store, or this restaurant is having a "once in a lifetime sale!" that I would just be stupid to pass up...I continue to go thru and opt to stop receiving these emails yet they continue to come. I rarely look at them, but then I turn on the TV and I hear the same thing over and over. I flip on the radio, I open a magazine, I read a blog, I go to facebook...marketing is EVERYWHERE. And 90% of the time I ignore it and go on, but the buy, buy, buy is the "new" craze. It's crazy, the cost of things...the amount of things we "have to have". And I am saying this knowing we make a decent living with what we have, it's not just the bitterness because I can't buy everything I want. Because I can't sign my kid up for soccer this week, because I can't eat out whenever I want, because I have to buy my dogs the cheap crappy dog food-yes I know stupid example but whatever...it's because it really is a problem. I try to turn the other cheek but that is so incredibly hard...so hard. I will be the first to admit I like to buy things but I am also the first to admit that we have a broken bed that Robert just patched up, that we don't have a fancy TV...not even close, I don't have a fancy cell phone (and honestly can't stomach dropping that much money on a phone...have you SEEN the condition my cell phones end up in), Gavin has hand me down furniture, our coffee table is chewed up on the corner courtesy of not one but two different dogs, I absolutely do not do fancy purses or expensive shoes. And honestly I don't get the obsession with the last 2 but I digress. But the kids have nice clothes--and lots of em. That's my buying weakness. Needless to say I did bills today and I am bummed, I am bummed we are going to have to put a halt to any and all spending and I am bummed, that when I opened my email I had 7 emails about various sales going on, when I opened my mailbox I have various coupons and magazines stating the same. And people are pretty hush hush about finances, but you know what? I am ok to admit that it's not all peaches and cream over here...at least not this month, and probably the next. I also know I am not the only one. I know that while I sit hear wishing we could buy a nicer TV or have wood floors put down, there is someone across town trying to figure out how in the world they are going to feed their kids this week, or put a roof over their head tonight. It does make me step back and be grateful but am then still sad at what our society has turned most of us into--myself included.

Superman & Friends

One of the things I wish I was better at as a parent (though I could think of probably 347..this is one of the larger items). Is playing and spending time doing something the KIDS enjoy--instead of things I enjoy and make them suffer through while telling them how great it is! I openly admit that I am just not a player...I am more of an observer, and avid watcher of playees. But every once in a blue moon I snag a kid and play a game or crash cars together with them for just a wee bit, and today Gavin and I sat down together and did a puzzle and played with one of our very favorite games we have. It's my favorite because it's a matching game and matching games were one of my favorites as a kid and because it's oh so very cool especially for the little guys! It's their favorite because it's 10 little figures that come apart! A friend had this at her house and I just had to track it down, my only luck at first was on Amazon.com who wanted $50 for it...which is just insane no matter how great the game is, but then I found it on Ebay were I snagged it for $30 with shipping. Still pricey but considering what it is I splurged. So if you stumble upon this anywhere...get it I promise it's a hit!
Gavin and I playing...and I am laughing so hard because he kept trying to look at the camera and I was telling him not to look just play the game--after all we wanted to look natural! haha

Gavin looking hehe...

His favorite...

And he's off!

This morning went off without a hitch and we managed to get everyone out the door and at school on time. Zachary woke up with a smile on his sleepy little face and was ready to go for his first day of school (little does he know he has AT LEAST 12 more years of school to go...but for now it's exciting right?) He was dressed in his new little shirt and his new shoes (Skechers bleh...but it's what he wanted and I allowed them this time). He looks mighty cute, I must say. We have to leave in about 30 min to get him from school, I am sure he had a great time. And I can't wait to hear about it!
Here are some snaps from this morning...A-dorable...


Jakeb and Zachary in Zachary's class...both are obviously annoyed I am taking a picture..

A must share...

I am a blog reader...I love to read other "Mom blogs" from around...well around the world! I could share so many great ones I have stumbled upon---several you can click to on the right side of this page. But I just got done foraging thru this one again and Oh.my.goodness....just go see. I promise you will walk away hungry for more...BLOG.

It's that time...

Another is heading off to his very first day of school tomorrow. He is VERY excited and I must admit I am pretty darn excited for him (and me) as well. It seems very strange to me that he really is old enough to go to school. Since Jakeb is the oldest and has always proved his role very thoroughly, it's odd for me to think of either Zachary or Gavin as anything but little. He will do wonderful and I am very excited for him to have activities all day long because I know he needs them. He is excited to begin learning all the things his big brother is learning, there is some definite competition there. We have his little bag packed and his name on his nap mat and pencil box. I will set out his new outfit tonight and pack his lunch in the morning. Tomorrow is only a half day for him and he will leave after lunch. It's going to be strange packing up 2 lunches and 2 back-packs and 2 snacks, what's even stranger still is that in 2 short years I will be packing 3 of each!

We spent this weekend rather busy but in a low-key way. Friday night the older boys and I spent the night at "Pappy's House" so we could get him breakfast and spend some time with him on Saturday. We spent the better part of Saturday at his house and Robert and I stained the deck for him (looks great!). The nice thing about going to my grandfathers house is that even though we are gone and even though we were working I still always leave feeling relaxed. I love it there, I miss it there, I wish I could give my kids the quietness of living "in the country". Though 25 min away from Nashville is hardly in the sticks...it's just perfect for me.

Here are a few pictures from Jakeb's first days of 2nd grade. He's off to a great start and I think his teacher will be great!

This one is from the 2hr day.

And the first full day...his teacher had them T-shirts to wear for the first day...

No they didn't...

Last night we went to Gavin's open house for his school. His teachers were very nice and I am excited for this year for him. But Oh.my.gawd. were the other children in that classroom horrible and I mean horrible. The 2 teachers were trying to talk over these ridiculously rude, rude children...they weren't actually talking but having to yell over them. I couldn't believe it, and even more than that I could not believe that these children's parents said absolutely nothing to them. It was appalling not only the behavior of the kids but of the parents! I was seriously shocked. The kids were screaming, throwing toys, yelling, smacking at each other. It was awful and all the while the parents were ignoring them, not even glancing in their direction. Mind you this classroom is small so it was crazy loud. Finally the teacher stops speaking and yells at the boys to stop which some of them half way did...and at that point a few parents did grabbed their kids and made them sit down. But not one apology to the teachers, and it took the teacher yelling at them for someone to react. I would have been so embarassed. I mean seriously who thought that was ok!? What's more irritating is I see this type of stuff a lot. Kids with ZERO respect for others and who are just down right rude and inconsiderate of others especially adults. I would have been in some serious trouble for that type of behavior! Why is it that now it's "ok" for kids to be just nasty to each other and have not one ounce of respect for other people around them. So many parents are afraid to hurt their kids feelings or make them sad or whatever nonsense they think will happen if they discipline their child. No one is suffering from that other the kid who doesn't learn to deal with things...and of course the people around that child that have to listen to it. God for bid wittle Johnny has his wittle bitty ole feewings huwt because Mommy told him no and to sit down and shut the hell up (though saying it a bit nicer probably works too)...or god forbid Mommy has to actually deal with her kid for 10 min. Since when are kids taught that they just can do and get whatever they want with very little consequences?! It's sad in my opinion. Which doesn't mean much (other than it's the right one ha). I am no perfect parent but I would like to think my kids will grow up with respect for themselves and for others, that they will have decent manners, and not think they deserve things just because. (which is something we are working on now--Jakeb has a slight "buy me a new toy" addiction) and I hope that they not only grow up that way but I hope they behave that way as children too...because who wants kids no one can stand to be around?
In fear of sounding like my own mother I think many parents are just too busy, too busy and/or distracted to deal with their kid so instead they let them do just about whatever they want. I am certainly guilty of this plenty but I try to keep it to a minimum. No one is perfect but I think people need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
And obviously those kids last night really ticked me off...I was floored. It was just unnerving the way those parents just sat there ignoring them....and just down right wrong. Kids will be kids but parents need to be PARENTS right along with them.

Long time no me...

Been a bit busy here in the B casa. Jakeb is currently at school attending his first day of 2nd grade. Poor kiddo was SO nervous on Monday morning, when I woke him to get ready to go. I didn't realize that it was just a day to register and actually thought he would be there for 2 hours--not sure why I don't remember doing this last year!? So he was very relieved to see he got to come right back home with me. He was so nervous and "scared" to go that poor guy cried, I felt so bad for him because I remember feeling that nervous about first days of school. I was talking to my mom about it this morning and remember going to a new school in the middle of 8th grade and crying because I was so incredibly nervous. EIGHTH grade. So I knew how Jakeb was feeling, he is so darn sensitive and sweet. Actually all 3 of them are just in different ways. Either way he was a-ok today and told me when we got to school that he wasn't scared at all. So Yay him!
Once I actually get my software all back on my computers like it should be I will post a few pictures of his first day....and probably Zachary's because by then it will have already occurred.
Zman starts next week and honestly I am ready for him to just to get into a routine and just "get it over with". Gavin is supposed to go to his first day tomorrow but it's highly unlikely that he will being that he barfed an ungodly amount all over my bed in the middle of the night last night. He has been ok so far today but I don't know that I will push it. Stomach viruses at our house t-totally suck because it takes nearly 3 weeks for it to run it's course thru everyone. Not a good time, not at all.

Say huh?

So wow, yesterday was hands down one of the oddest days....I hesitate to say worst because well I don't want to put anyone up to the challenge of proving me wrong. But it was over all a surprisingly craptastic day. Started out with good intentions, hit up the gym for Spin class (yes that makes 2 times this week I am...er was on a roll). Prior to arriving at the gym Zachary began complaining of a stomach ache, I asked him several times how it hurt etc etc. Came to the conclusion that he was probably ok (though I must admit I think I secretly knew he was probably getting sick), tried to tell myself he ate something bad or was just having a funky tummy morning. So dropped him off with his bros in childcare...made it thru Spin. Am doing the weight training thing and in walks a nursery worker...yeah your kid is sick. Lovely. so I run in snag him and apologize over and over, tell them I am sorry I was one of "those mothers". Ran Zman home, grabbed a friends 3 kiddo's, took my other 2 and off to the splash pad we went. Normally I would cancel this outing but Jakeb and his pal were excited and Zachary was ok with going home to Robert. Swing into McD's to grab lunch, am waiting in line and start seeing chasers aka lights in my eyes, ie I am about to get a migraine. Suuuhweeet! No meds available, ran into Walgreen's downed some Excedrin and braved the Sun and the heat with 5 kids for as long as I could with a migraine.
Now I will say that my migraines are not debilitating starting out. In fact they don't get THAT painful, more the nausea combined with the head ache and over all crappy feeling put me in bed to sleep it off most of the time. So I was a trooper and toughed it out as long as I could. Came home to drop the 3 little ones in bed and throw myself onto the couch. Walk in to an oddly HOT house. Robert didn't notice it but it was 80 in here and the a/c was NOT working. Are.you.flipping.kidding.me? We apparently have had MORONs put this unit in because we have had something wrong with it every season. It's 3 years old...not ok. But whatever. Get a guy out asap....manage to only drop $120 to get it fixed, thank god, thank god. Starts cooling off, headache begins to dissipate--thanks to some not so OTC meds. Zachary begins getting sick again :-( Poor boy. I sit down to check my email (and of course Fbook) only to get a crazy pop up saying I have a virus and then my computer shut down on it's own. Now this is my main computer, fortunately I back up things pretty well. But seriously someone must be playing a joke right? Oh but that's not all! Gavin then wakes up with a horrid croupy sounding cough, which he has had before but never sounding so bad. We get him set up with a breathing treatment and he calms down. And we all manage to get to sleep (though Z got sick several times in the night) So yeah...not a good day. And on Robert's end he had a really crappy day with work. Not a good day.
As for Friday...Zachary is still sick, Gavin sounds congested, I am in a slight fog from the "not so OTC meds", but the house is cold and I am in the process of repairing the computer. Currently am on the "spare" upstairs...fingers crossed I pull it off!

Wordless-ish Wednesday

Is this not the sweetest... Gavin and Bailey dog snugglin' after a movie night

Canoeing with Jennifer & Caroline this past Sunday....got rained on but still had a great time with the kiddo's...

Zman at his Golf Clinic last week...


Robert and I a few weeks ago after the Rangers game in TX...


My bff Jen and I and Robert and Jason at the Rangers game...

Grumps R Us

So tonight as I was putting the kids to bed and having them clean up and once again was loosing my patience with them.--this is a nightly routine, they clean up their toys, I get mad because they don't listen. Anyway so right, after they are tucked into bed with kisses and hugs and music. I come downstairs and read about perfect mom #28234 who just got done with craft time or story time or how they spent the day collecting bugs for their science experiment (none of which I actually read tonight but that's not the point). They spent the day calmly and sweetly talking to their children, who are well spoken and never misbehave. I end up yet again feeling like horrible mom #3545. I seriously don't get it, I don't get how they do it. I try, I try to be calm and chill but it just doesn't work for me anymore.
There are certain things that push me over the edge with the kiddo's...the biggest of which is the the toys. I get so mad at the amount of toys they have that a) are broken or b) never touched. I then realize the amount of money we spend on toys on the kids and get sick. I think begin thinking about how the kids (and parents) are marketed to all.day.long. And get more sick. Then I think about the yelling I just ensued on my children and feel like crap. Media flat out sucks. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my Internet, I love reading blogs about other mothers that do the same mistakes I do, that also loose their cool but at the same time rock it in other ways as a parent. But the media that shows mothers as perfect and happy and chipper all the time just sucks, the media that shows kids how bad they need this or need that just sucks.
I am just not a happy chipper mother, I want to be. I want to be bad, I want my kids to grow up and think wow, was my Mom cool. She was fun and laughed all the time. But that's just not me. Right now I feel irritated and pissy with them 80% of the time. They leave messes, they get too loud, they break things, they stain things, they jump off things, they hit things, the cry, they need me to do things when I don't want to....all things I know I should be glad I am allowed to do. But in the moment and right now I just am annoyed. They are kids and they do exactly what kids do. And I suppose I am a mother and I do exactly what mothers do. But why isn't ok? Why is it so taboo? Yes I screamed at my kid because I told him 97 times to pick up his dirty clothes and he didn't. No I didn't get crafts out and let them just paint till their hearts content, being a-ok with whatever mess they made. I am not that mother and that's ok too. Now I just need to remember that...the point of this isn't to have someone tell me it's ok...*I* know it's ok. (though I still beat myself up about it on a daily basis) I just get sick of reading "perfect mommy" posts...and how "cheerful" everyone always is. Seriously whatever. It's not always roses and sunshine and you know it.

Tales from the 'hood

Dear Neighborhood Children~

Would you please relay all of this to your parent as really this letter should go to him. Please do not stand in my driveway as I am trying to pull into it asking me if my kids can play. Please allow us to actually get into the garage and remove ourselves from the vehicle before you force yourselves upon us. Do not make me actually ask you to move out of the way of my car so I can get into my house. Do not stand on my front porch pushing the door bell over and over, and then when I tell you the kids are eating and can't play right now do not tell me "Ok well I will wait for them here" and then proceed to sit on the front porch watching us thru the window or banging the rocking chair into the house. This is not a fish bowl. Go.home. I do not want to have to close MY blinds because you won't go home. Please let your parent know that this is bad manners and tell him that I don't find it funny despite my little chuckles about it. Also let him know that it is not my responsibility to watch you as you are too young to be roaming the streets anyway. At 3 and 5 years old you block traffic and all but cause accidents in front of my house daily. It is absurd that you are allowed to roam so freely and I am pretty sure your parent assumes everyone else will help keep an eye on you because of course we have nothing better to do. I do not particularly feel the need to sit outside and socialize while watching 10 kids every evening. You have let my dog out more times than I can count and that makes me livid. While you are quite cute children I do not need to see your face every single flippin' day at my front door.
Thank You Very Much~
The mean mother across the street who isn't used to this neighborhood thing.

Lazy Day

We are having quite a lazy day today and I am bored! The house is pretty darn clean and any other cleaning I could do would require more effort than I am willing to give at this moment (or any moment really). Gavin is snoozing on the couch--his choice spot to take his nap. Fine by me, he naps there easily so whatever works. Jakeb and Zachary are upstairs playing with toys, and on the Wii.
They both requested to stay home today so that's what we are doing. I squeezed myself into my swimsuit, grabbed a towel, and a book and plopped down outside this morning while they played in the pool. Though that of course doesn't last long before they are arguing, splashing me, whining to go inside, needing a drink, and basically just annoying the crap outta me. Despite all that I did manage to get thru a few chapters and relax a bit. We had lunch and are just chilling.
When school starts back my ever growing personal inner tube and I are heading back to the gym pronto. It's shameful that I haven't gone in 2 months. My membership fee comes out tomorrow and that is now $90 down the drain (2 months worth)....that and I have gained nearly 10lbs in the meantime!! Seriously that's insanity. Lazy ass eh?
I have started finishing up the boys 365's from last year so I will eventually get a slide show up of that...though I doubt anyone is going to look at 365+ pictures in one sitting of someone else's kid...I know I wouldn't. No offense. But that's a lot of flippin' pictures!
Starting to hear loud voices and booms going on upstairs guess I should get off my duff and go investigate before Gbabes is woken up and his after nap wrath is induced upon us all.

and BTW

So the food thing...I haven't forgotten...at least not completely. Robert's been home all week and we have done exceptionally well (for us) in the eating at home department. We have cooked a variety of meals and done pretty decent. (for us) Yesterday we fell totally off the wagon and had McDonald's at lunch and Jet's Pizza for dinner. Today we ate at Five Guys and left there feeling disgustingly greasy and gross...and I did vow never to eat there again. While it was delish the way I felt afterward was quite the opposite. So we are getting there...and I will continue to update...because I know everyone (you 5 readers.....Mom, Robert...) is on the edge of their seats wondering "What did Rachel eat today..." but not to worry I haven't forgotten. I wouldn't leaving you hanging like that.

One more Week

Of summer for the rugrats...Jakeb goes back to school next Monday, Gavin on Thursday (MDO 2 days a week), and Zachary the following Monday. While on one hand I am ready to get back into a routine...I am bummed for them that summer is coming to a close. We have done a lot this summer and it's absolutely flown by (as well as the rest of the year). Zman is completely thrilled to start school like his brother and honestly he is beyond ready and I am pretty sure thoroughly bored at home. This past week I have picked up a few things for them for the event..."First Day of School" both have a new outfit to wear and will have all their goodies. They need ZERO clothes but I did "splurge" and get them both a new outfit--both of which were on sale AND I had a fat daddy coupon as well. I am just a wee bit of a clothes freak for them...I like them to be dressed a certain way and get a tad bit carried away. Though Jakeb is starting to put the smack down on it and voice his opinions...and I am starting to hear things like "I don't know why you won't let me get what *I* want...." but he just doesn't realize I am doing this for his own good. I don't do the pretty boy preppy boy look...but prefer a bit trendy and old school apparently. Jakeb is certain that all the nasty looking Sketchers are THE shoes to wear but I keep reminding him that they are hideous...but alas I did fold and get him a pair this past year. Realizing maybe *I* am the one with no fashion sense these days...particularly when I was told "when I grow up I am buying my kids Sketchers if they want them..." and Especially when I starting recalling similar arguments with my parents, I am thinking I am the one loosing touch on what's cool these days. Though I don't think Converse is out of style...silly kids! and I don't care what anyone said when I was a kid appearance does matter....not that I would tell my kids it's THAT important and I would like think that they would care enough. Simple fact people get an opinion on a person often simply on how they appear before they ever get one on how they are. It's human nature....so yeah I get a bit over the top on the clothes thing...plus it's just down right fun. Weird I know.
Right so anyway...summer has been fun and I hate to see it end. I am trying to think of a few things to do with the boys this last week...though I am thinking we will keep it close to home since we have been on the go so much. We'll enjoy it either way!