The Crying Kind.

So there is a theme going on here....whining and crying. We are chalk full of hormonal pregnancy emotions over here, plum full up. Because here's the thing, I don't cry. Like no really I do not cry. Not being all tough girl about it but I really just rarely have the urge to bust out the tears. Of course that being said over the past several years a new phenomenon for me has been that my eyes get teary over the silliest things. I mean really silly. That welled up feeling to cry isn't there but the tears are...confusing? Why yes, yes it is.

So anyway me the not cryer has found myself in quite the conundrum lately and the crying has been a bit uh, over the top. Today has been emotionally trying. Gavin, you know the sweet itty bitty kindergarden boy--he's been doing all well and good at school. A few little bumps that were previously mentioned but overall seems just fine and dandy. That is until .456 seconds before he gets out of the car this morning...or rather as he was stepping out of the car this morning. So picture this: Drop off line full of cars and kids hopping out and moving on, oh! It's our turn, hugs and kisses given and everyone is hopping out of the car. I catch Gavin's profile and notice a wrinkled chin and a quivering lip as he's stepping out of the car, he says a barely audible squeaky goodbye and I realize he's trying very hard to not cry. I ask him what's wrong and he hops out saying "Nothing!" So there I sit trying to figure out what to do because my little baby is crying and there are people behind me and he's trying to be brave but that just makes me feel worse. Instead of parking the car and chasing after him I leave and my last glance is him waving and wiping his eyes trying so hard to be brave. I pull away and burst into tears. I decide I will go eat lunch with him to make sure he's ok....I know, I know this is a bad idea but I just couldn't not go. So I go and he's totally fine that is until I have to leave again. And it's the same scene all over again--him trying not to cry and me smiling and waving. Instead this time I poke my head into the teachers lounge and ask a teacher friend to peak in at him in a few minutes. And then I again burst into tears...standing in the teachers lounge of my children's school. Lame. It of course is all that more fitting that I am pregnant so I get a slight pass but eesh. Folks I don't cry and I certainly do.not.cry. in front of a room full of people I barely know. Oh good lord. So this kindergarden thing has been really hard this go round and I wasn't expecting that.

Gavin has to go and be all baby and innocent and sweet and all "I miss you" when for the past 3 years he's been all bossy and demanding and whiney.....so I guess it's only fitting that I go from "I don't cry" to apparently "I cry."