Tales from the 'hood

Dear Neighborhood Children~

Would you please relay all of this to your parent as really this letter should go to him. Please do not stand in my driveway as I am trying to pull into it asking me if my kids can play. Please allow us to actually get into the garage and remove ourselves from the vehicle before you force yourselves upon us. Do not make me actually ask you to move out of the way of my car so I can get into my house. Do not stand on my front porch pushing the door bell over and over, and then when I tell you the kids are eating and can't play right now do not tell me "Ok well I will wait for them here" and then proceed to sit on the front porch watching us thru the window or banging the rocking chair into the house. This is not a fish bowl. Go.home. I do not want to have to close MY blinds because you won't go home. Please let your parent know that this is bad manners and tell him that I don't find it funny despite my little chuckles about it. Also let him know that it is not my responsibility to watch you as you are too young to be roaming the streets anyway. At 3 and 5 years old you block traffic and all but cause accidents in front of my house daily. It is absurd that you are allowed to roam so freely and I am pretty sure your parent assumes everyone else will help keep an eye on you because of course we have nothing better to do. I do not particularly feel the need to sit outside and socialize while watching 10 kids every evening. You have let my dog out more times than I can count and that makes me livid. While you are quite cute children I do not need to see your face every single flippin' day at my front door.
Thank You Very Much~
The mean mother across the street who isn't used to this neighborhood thing.