Twelve on Tuesday.

1. Gavin is home sick from school again. He's the perkiest sick person ever....except wait no he isn't. Basically he has a cold and is milking it. He will be at school tomorrow.

2. Nolan's room got painted this weekend and I am super stoked!

3. The crib says it's "on the truck for delivery" so it should be here today. Yay :)

4. My big plan of projects isn't going exactly as...uh I envisioned. Thank you cold and laziness.

5. Jakeb has a friend riding home on the bus with him--he's very excited about this.

6. This morning it was actually chilly outside--so it's a fall teaser. I am pretty sure a few months ago I was speaking of summer teasers. 95+ degree weather for weeks at a time has me singing a different tune.

7. I have pretty much stocked our stash of cloth diapers for the baby boy...fingers crossed I can stick with it.

8. Zachary is kinda coming around about football but I am thinking it's not really going to be his thing. Which works for me.

9. Our a/c has frozen up twice this week--not cool. BUT my brother is/was an A/C guy this is cool. Hopefully he was able to work his magic on it.

10. 98 days until my due date. Crazy cool.

11. Gavin has been banned to the couch today--you know since he's sick. He is not pleased. I am hoping he gets my point!

12. I wish someone would ban me to the couch for a day. Or 7.

2 weeks.

Well today was overall a much better day than yesterday and the day before and the day before that. We are 2 weeks into school and while Jakeb and Zachary seem to be rolling right back into a routine it has been a bit rougher for the littlest of the big ones. He did say today was a much better day and apparently the trick was the heart I drew in red sharpie on his palm. (Thanks to "The Kissing Hand") Despite the tears and hiccuping sobs when I dropped him off he seems to have done just fine today. I received 3 emails letting me know he was a-ok that both made me feel better because he was doing fine and also that they cared enough to let me know. I at least had my game face on this morning at drop off time so I left with my head held high and no tears falling. Yesterday caught me so off guard that I didn't have time to prepare! Fingers crossed Monday goes a little better.

My cold by the end of the day seems to be slowly going away though mornings are rougher we will see what tomorrow brings.

I did manage to clean out the refrigerator today--which sucks really but I do find it amazing the number of expired items I found in the door. Various condiments of course, despite going thru the items what feels like weeks ago it apparently was more like months. Thus reinforcing my theory that time only speeds up as you get older and possible disappears all together. A clean fridge is amazing in itself especially if you let it get a bit dirty before you clean it...it's all that more "pat yourself on the back'ish" when it's done. So go me and my brand new but just clean, some what empty refrigerator. And that's that for this Friday. The boys are currently at the pool--with Robert of course and I am gearing myself up to make dinner while they bathe play in the pool.

Also in 2 weeks I will be beginning my 3rd trimester, I am sorry what?

The Crying Kind.

So there is a theme going on here....whining and crying. We are chalk full of hormonal pregnancy emotions over here, plum full up. Because here's the thing, I don't cry. Like no really I do not cry. Not being all tough girl about it but I really just rarely have the urge to bust out the tears. Of course that being said over the past several years a new phenomenon for me has been that my eyes get teary over the silliest things. I mean really silly. That welled up feeling to cry isn't there but the tears are...confusing? Why yes, yes it is.

So anyway me the not cryer has found myself in quite the conundrum lately and the crying has been a bit uh, over the top. Today has been emotionally trying. Gavin, you know the sweet itty bitty kindergarden boy--he's been doing all well and good at school. A few little bumps that were previously mentioned but overall seems just fine and dandy. That is until .456 seconds before he gets out of the car this morning...or rather as he was stepping out of the car this morning. So picture this: Drop off line full of cars and kids hopping out and moving on, oh! It's our turn, hugs and kisses given and everyone is hopping out of the car. I catch Gavin's profile and notice a wrinkled chin and a quivering lip as he's stepping out of the car, he says a barely audible squeaky goodbye and I realize he's trying very hard to not cry. I ask him what's wrong and he hops out saying "Nothing!" So there I sit trying to figure out what to do because my little baby is crying and there are people behind me and he's trying to be brave but that just makes me feel worse. Instead of parking the car and chasing after him I leave and my last glance is him waving and wiping his eyes trying so hard to be brave. I pull away and burst into tears. I decide I will go eat lunch with him to make sure he's ok....I know, I know this is a bad idea but I just couldn't not go. So I go and he's totally fine that is until I have to leave again. And it's the same scene all over again--him trying not to cry and me smiling and waving. Instead this time I poke my head into the teachers lounge and ask a teacher friend to peak in at him in a few minutes. And then I again burst into tears...standing in the teachers lounge of my children's school. Lame. It of course is all that more fitting that I am pregnant so I get a slight pass but eesh. Folks I don't cry and I certainly do.not.cry. in front of a room full of people I barely know. Oh good lord. So this kindergarden thing has been really hard this go round and I wasn't expecting that.

Gavin has to go and be all baby and innocent and sweet and all "I miss you" when for the past 3 years he's been all bossy and demanding and whiney.....so I guess it's only fitting that I go from "I don't cry" to apparently "I cry."

Wendy Whiner.

So a few posts back I was all like "breathe and focus" in fact that may have been Monday....but today I am going to be all like this is noootttt fuunnnnn. The thing is....I am not a very good pregnant person, which is not cool on my part really because technically I am a pretty good pregnant person. I have pretty standard and easy-ish (for most people) pregnancies...and while this one really has been tougher on me it's really not that bad. But dang November can't get here quick enough. Cause while feeling the baby move is super dee duper neato schmeato---the other part of my brain has a hard time with the fact that there is a real live person moving around in my stomach. Because you know OMG there is a person moving around in my stomach. So there's that...which really is my favorite part of being pregnant but at the same time sorta creeps me out if I really think about it. Then the aches and pains and the uncomfortable and the bathroom trips and the not sleeping. Which is the worst part for me. I am a sleeper or rather I am a I need sleep at night person. I don't nap well so night time is my thing. I go to bed and I sleep all night and I don't have a hard time sleeping and I wake semi refreshed-ish and I am good to go. Except now I am not and that makes me want to cry. Except that's not cool because a 31 year old crying pregnant person is understandable but really put your big girl panties on and deal with it lady.

So yesterday was hard and it seems this morning is off on the wrong foot already but really there is no reason it should be because nothing happened. Though adjusting to kindergarden for my little guy is hard... for me. Last Friday he lost recess time and center time because he didn't finish coloring the all spots on a sheet on time. Which I get....kinda.. but really I didn't know coloring was a life skill. I mean obviously little dude knows his numbers and his colors and can follow directions (because he was) and is good to go in that regard but for real was it necessary for him to color every single spot--because he's not a fan of coloring, his perfectionism makes it hard for his 5 year old hands, as in he is really slow and his hand gets tired of trying so hard to stay in the lines. But apparently we aren't worried about how well a person does it but how fast and of course that they can color. *headsmack* (which he can color he just doesn't like to because he's s.l.o.w. at it) And then yesterday I went to the school for a super energized fundraiser pep rally thing a majig and as I was watching the guys prepare it occurred to me that maybe this was going to be a bit intense for all these little kindergarden babies that are still adjusting and are going to walk into screaming and woohoo'ing and chaos 7 days into school. At least I knew it might be for mine...and it was. I snagged him after the yelling into the microphone session and he was upset because he thought he had to go on some crazy adventure and totally didn't understand. And it broke my heart just a bit because he's so innocent and little. But then I realized that he so wasn't traumatized and was just totally fine and that maybe this is harder for me than him. And probably he should learn to be a bit less of a perfectionist and that he does need to finish his work in a time frame because I suppose that is a important life skill. But don't make my baby cry and miss recess for coloring in the same week because I am pregnant and all grumpy and whiney and I might cry too.

And while we are on the up swing of my emotional pendulum I will stop right there because if I rant any longer it won't get pretty.

ETA: He did finish his coloring and wasn't the only one (he and 3 other kids missed recess) and apparently did much better on Monday. But I still have the slight desire to march up to the school and say it's ridiculous. But I get it.

Twelve on Tuesday.

1. I have a lovely summer cold and am being a total baby about it...because it sucks and I am pregnant and having difficulty breathing already with sore ribs and a tight belly. Coughing and snot and a tickley throat make all of that pretty intense and it's just not fun. So I am sick. Wahhhahaha.

2. Little Gavin rode the bus for the first time yesterday. I wasn't ready for him to but he was so I relaxed and let him go and he he stepped off the bus and saw me waiting in the driveway and was all smiles as he ran to me and jumped into my arms to give me kisses. So it was ok obviously.

3. Zachary is struggling getting into football. Poor guy is the smallest on the team which is really funny because for our family he is the biggest and roughest but toss him into the world and he really is a little softy. So finding his "groove" is work for him.

4. *cough*cough*

5. Coughing much like sneezing in pregnancy may or may not result in a sprint to the bathroom. Not cool.

6. Also apparently a rising uterus often can cause inflammation of the area around your ribs. Specifically the right ribs and it hurts and is mighty uncomfortable and did I mention I am 25 weeks which is all exciting and good except that 40 minus 25 is 15 and that's a long time to have sore ribs.

7. I am kinda full of whiny-ness today. Deal with it.

8. I have 3 little items next to me that I need to sew back together....except I don't know where my sewing things are which really I probably do and it would take 10 minutes to fix these things but I keep putting it off. So silly.

9. Kids in school=a pretty clean house. This is very nice.

10. I am on the hunt for a coming home outfit for Mr. Nolan. I have yet to find the "perfect" one. I will though!

11. I need to go jump in the shower so I can at least be clean and coughing when I go eat lunch with the boys before I do some PTA volunteering today....oy.

12. I would say no but I already told the boys I would be there for lunch and I am not a fan of bailing on the kiddo's. So I go. Though if I was feverish or feeling much worse I would have to say no. Ho hum.

Breathe

One of the personal "exercises" I have been working on is breathing. I don't mean literally breathing because obviously not breathing would be well a fatal mistake. And ironically I am having rather a difficult time actually breathing lately but the 2 lb fetus and the 15 lbs of cushion for him aren't helpful. But I digress....by breathing I mean instead of doing the normal routine of OMG this is so stressful omg freak out freak out agggghhh mental thing that goes on in my head when you know things get stressful. Like I wait to the last minute to pack or we are out of dog food or the kids have lots of papers that I can't figure out. The things that are so trivial really but instantly put me in a mental tilta-whirl. So I practice "breathing" and just being calm and focusing on doing just that. Focusing on exactly what it is I need to do and putting one foot in front of the other instead of stepping up on that roller coaster. Read the papers toss what we don't need, read what we do, and move on instead of the tendency to want to throw a mental temper trantrum of throwing it all down and walking away. Or really not even that but allowing myself to get overwhelmed over something so totally doable. And it works....and maybe some don't have to do this but folks I do. I am slowly learning things to help our day roll smoother and that I really can't just "wing it" well not totally true because there is a lot of that going on....but I need to know that in doing that to lower some of my expectations. And it's helped...it is still something I have to work on but I rather enjoy the calmer me. Sure, sure I get fired up about things but certainly not to the extent and I can usually reel myself back in to a normal level of crazy. Because really normal and crazy are probably one in the same. Or at least they overlap a little....no?

So breathe and focus. Breathe and Focus.

Week one: Check.

We are one week thru the school year and off to a fantastic start. The boys love their classes and teachers and seem to be genuinely enjoying their days at school. The school they go to is the smallest in the county and despite my reservations by the outside appearance of the school it's a marvelous one. Nearly every time I leave the building I think I love this school. So I am thrilled that the year is off to such a wonderful start and thrilled the school still rocks.

And I must say 7 uninterrupted hours are mighty nice. I usually sit around wondering why I get nothing done--and by nothing I mean various projects around the house other than you know cleaning up after someone or feeding someone. I have however realized that there is something to be said for uninterrupted time. It occurred to me that is the golden ticket for me....I need to know that I have the time to finish a project start to finish without having to stop or at the very least get to a good little stopping point. So all that being said things are trucking along nicely for our first week into school.

Yesterday I spent the morning rearranging furniture (heavy but very easy to move furniture no worries!) and hanging pictures over the mantle. The mantle project is something I have dreamed of doing for a great deal of time and finally yesterday said heck with it and did it. Which was a nice confidence booster because A: it's looks pretty good and B: I am pretty good at decorating via improvising on a budget. As in I just redid my mantle without purchasing a single item. Score! It's amazing the things you can find around your house. And I will just go ahead and toot my own horn right here and say Go Me.

So anyway school is rocking and rolling and our morning routine is jumping right back to where it was and it's a seamless one so that's awesome and makes mornings so much easier. Because 6am is never easy. Gavin managed to walk himself to class alone yesterday and bought lunch at school. Jakeb is a totally too cool for school 4th grader. Zachary is the middle man both at school and at home and loves that his little brother is at school with him even if he pretends to not like him 75% of the time. Which totally melts my heart by the way. He's all like "Omg Gavin your so annoying" all the while also being like "Don't mess with my brother, punk".....his little bits of love snuck in are cute and sweet and just what I like to see.

So Happy First Week of School!

Off to School.

Here are some shots from the first day of school on Monday....

12 on Tuesday.

1. In roughly 7 minutes I need to be leaving to go pick up my kindergardener from school.

2. Their school has "early bird" dismissal for the little guys--it is optional and we are opting that for the first week. My own little "homemade" phase in period--for us both. That and I am not ready to relinquish him .to.the.bus. He is afterall a baby. Duh.

3. My 4th grader almost pretended to not know us yesterday when we dropped him off at his class for the first day...head down, speedy walk into the door led me to believe I needed to back up 5 feet and whisper "Bye have a good day!"

4. 2nd grade Zman had both his first day of school yesterday and his first day of football practice....big tiring day for him.

5. I now have 4 minutes to finish this post.

6. I am pretty sure I can do it....I am a fast talk...er typer.

7. It's still very hot here.

8. Crud I am stumped!....Agh quick I need a number 9.

9. I have pictures I will share tomorrow from yesterday.

10. I talked item #1 on my list of things to do while the boys are at school...off to a great start!

11. We found a new favorite grocery shopping store on Sunday--stoked about that!

12. We spent too much money at the grocery store on Sunday...not so stoked about that. But by gholly we have food!! And now I must go get the baby...er kindergardener from school.

Cloth diapers and slings and boobies

I have nursed each of my kids well past 1 year of age. Something I am both shocked at and proud of. When Jakeb was born I went into the whole breastfeeding thing thinking I may nurse him for 2 months, or 4 or who knows....as each month rolled past I couldn't believe it. Then came Zachary whose beginnings into nursing were a bit more tumultuous for me...and him as we soon learned he had reflux and based on the vomit stain that ended up on the wall 3 feet from the bed it was evident it existed. He then nursed for 22 months and that is beyond shocking. And I often find myself justifying that to others but when really it's no big deal. But by the time Gavin came around it was a breeze and also a bit demanding. Afterall 7+ years of having someone else depend on you for you know life is a bit overwhelming.

I gave cloth diapering a try with Zman but gave up after finding him soaked in his bed more times than not..it seems I can recall giving them a whirl with Gavin and also giving up for probably the same reasons. I am thinking I would like to give them a whirl again...afterall the cuteness factor is just about enough of a reason for me. But eesh it's overwhelming....finding the right diaper for the right kid...so we'll see.

I did the snugli with Jakeb from time to time and the Baby Bjorn with Zachary quite often with Gavin we did the Bjorn and often tossed him a sling as he got older. So this go round I am quite looking forward to slings and carriers to try...especially since they have gotten so much neater! I know lame sauce that I think baby slings and carriers are neato schmeato but from someone who has babies that like to snuggle they are a lifesaver! Really this post is all over the grid....and lest you think we are all crunchy over hear....my kids had Eggo's with Mrs. Butterworths fake (but oh so tasty) syrup for breakfast. I mean Eggo's are like da bomb and I have been eating them at least once a week since I was like 15...even with a few frozen waffle strikes thrown in. Yum.

Twelve on Tuesday

1. The kids and I went to the Free Movies today with half of Georgia. It was insane....insane people....insane. The $1 popcorn helped make it better but almost wasn't worth the insanity that was the packed theater. There were buses of children...enough said.

2. In 6 days all 3 boys will be in school and thus will commence my days of watching soap operas and napping on the couch projects.

3. My kids are total home bodies....this is good for the budget but boring for me.

4. I applied for a j.o.b. at a work at home place....I worked there before for roughly 4 or 5 months. We will see dunno if I am up for it...I am however up for the extra moola.

5. Be pregnant with a 4th kid at 31 is harder than one might think. I mean sure sure it could be my 17th or I could be 49 or something but I'm not and I am still whining.

6. I also can't wait to see his little face...I mean I can but am quite excited about it.

7. It's hot outside. It's summer so duh.

8. I just had to say "I would like for you to find something else to do then stick stuff in the freezer" Did I mention 6 days?

9. I took a pair of blue jeans back to Old Navy that were atrocious and let the boys pick out a new shirt for their first day of school--I should have kept the blue jeans. Their idea of cute and my idea of cute--uh yeah not the same.

10. We cut our cable back yesterday we now have 200 channels instead of 340 and are saving roughly $15 for some reason this just doesn't feel like the saving money notion we were going for. Granted $15 is $15 but really....then again I suppose we couldn't do with out TLC, ESPN, and Nickelodeon. That would be slumming it. *headsmack*

11. I keep having good intentions about taking pictures but my camera actually has dust on it...oops.

12. Now I am going to go lay on the couch and watch TLC...you know roughing it.

Droid Pictures.

A never ending quest.

Anyone that knows me for 5 milliseconds---or let me say this again--anyone who has been to our house at least twice knows that I like to keep things spiced up and am prone to up and move furniture or paintings or clothes or whatever, however and whenever. Anyone who has read this blog knows this because I comment on this all the time. I am never 100% satisfied with the appearance of things in my house and since buying new isn't an option I move things around. Because hello moving the couch is totally like getting a new one--or something like that. Don't worry my pregnant self didn't move the couch or anything large. I did have my burly muscular little boys carry their easel back up stairs and the heavy vacuum cleaner back down. I have however been reorganizing again. Though upon first glance it would like less like organizing and more like a gigantic mess thrown about the room. This started as we hunted for googley eyes so we could make angry birds. Needless to say I found them--after I stopped looking and in the most obscure place. Go figure. And needless to say we haven't made angry birds yet. The organization is never ending because this house--which is made for a many personed family to live in has ZERO storage. As in we have 2 closets that are not in bedrooms and one bedroom without a closet. Have I mentioned we have no pantry because if I haven't...WE HAVE NO PANTRY. It's redonk...every single house we have ever purchased my #1 priority was it must have a pantry. Yet somehow none of them have ever had a pantry. Not one house. Are you kidding me again with the no pantry thing. Ok ok. I digress. And I improvise with baskets of randomness all over the place. If I had a pantry my baskets of randomness would live there. Just saying. Baskets of art supplies and school papers and snacks and more art supplies and playdoh and moon sand and hats and gloves and OMG why can't I find anything. I am wondering if it be would be totally crazy to make our coat closet a pantry. It does house coats currently but we could hang them elsewhere. It is also in the foyer--as in right when you walk in the front door--of the house around the corner from the kitchen. But it would make a lovely pantry. Anyway not my point at all...though the title of this post is also fitting for the pantry situation. My point is I am forever organizing and reorganizing and things never seem to stay where I tell them. And I suppose that's really all I have to say about that....since I totally derailed on the pantry rant. I feel like I should maybe continue on with that....but maybe I shouldn't for fear that I will hit publish as I walk away to build a pantry---oh wait there is no place to do so. This coat closet is seeming more and more appealing. All it needs is 3 more little shelves and it's pantry ready! Or maybe we really don't need this little hall bathroom. Anyone have the laundry in the garage is this nutso thinking as well?

On another note today is the last day for swim lessons--I must admit I am glad for this the 45 minutes of exposure to intense chlorine fumes is getting to me. Obviously.

Big Kids.

Eek. So I have those now...or at least I have one of them. A big kid. Really I have 2, because big kid number 1 is the oldest and Zman is just as much a big kid as his big brother. When we go to the park or play places that also include toddlers I try to be very aware that they are now the big kids toddler moms dread. I try to make sure they are careful and don't trample the little ones. And if they do they really, really don't mean to and I hope say sorry and make sure they are ok. Because while they are big they are still pretty little at heart. They want to run and be silly and play just like that toddler...they are just better at it now. They are much more efficient and bounding up the stairs and can swing to the sky and race around the play ground with ease. In fact big kid #1 often doesn't even want to go to the playground.

So as I was blog reading this morning and looking at pictures of other not quite big kids it occurs to me that I miss the ease of being able to take them various places and it still be new. I miss the wonder they had when a wee bit younger. Now they are homebodies who love their toys and don't love coloring and reading and puzzle making. Basically I don't know what to do with them. Which is tough! They spend much of their day playing with each other and get lost in some imaginary game. Now I am thrilled they can still do do this and that they do but I feel a bit guilty that we go all day with little interaction. Even if they are doing exactly what they want to do. Big kids are easy but tough at the same time. Gone of the days are playgroups and fingerpainting and figuring out what is the next step is more difficult than one might think. Step by step.

Twelve on Tuesday

1. It is quite amazing how little I care about cleaning the house these days. I mean don't get me wrong I have moments of head spinning at the mess but for the most part--it's whatever, pink scum in the toilet it's cool if it sits a few more days, the toothpaste on the counter that may or may not have cat hair stuck to it--not my bathroom so whatev. Dishes in the sink overnight, hell hath frozen over or not. Surprise, Surprise--we are all still alive even with a little extra dirty.

2. Having said all that I did just clean the bathrooms--and I will say I can't believe how quickly scum rings start growing in the toilets here, like it's abnormally fast. So they get some extra growing time these days...it's cool.

3. I am getting anxious about school starting--I can't believe it's less than 2 weeks away. I snagged a few school supplies over the weekend and the boys back packs are good as new from last year. New sneakers on their feet and they are good to go.

4. A certain tween boy in this house is getting a "bit too big for his britches" lately....the eye rolling and my mom is an idiot face has been thrown a round quite a bit recently. His new thing is being totally insulted that I cannot remember which way his hair parts. I mean like completely offended that I can't even remember which way my own kids hair parts. Heaven forbid--apparently I should have their entire bodies mapped out mentally. My bad. Back to the books for me.

5. Swim lessons are still rockin' and a rollin' and we have 3 more days--including this afternoon. Gavin is pretty much over it. Jakeb and Zachary are learning some strokes and I think that's cool.

6. My mom is coming down for a visit this weekend and I am stoked :)

7. It's hot. We were treated miraculously to fall like weather over the weekend...it's was neato schmeato....but it's gone. And the heat has returned...our electric bill came yesterday. Eek.

8. Also how in the world is it really past the middle of July.

9. I have been running thru my head the items we will need for baby Nolan...uh yeah it's not a lot but it's a wee bit overwhelming. First on the list--stop buying sleepers and gowns.....

10. I am pretty sure I am going to give cloth diapering a whirl again--in combo with disposable but we will see. I had a hard time when I tried it with Zachary and ended up giving up. They leaked pee every time the kid slept.

11. Jakeb and Zachary had their 9 and 7 year check ups yesterday morning...yes they turned 9 and 7 many months ago, but we got off track last year and can't get back. Aside from that summer works best! Anyway--all is good with both. They are skinny mini's at roughly average height. Shocker.

12. 2 years or so ago--I received the best gift ever. Ipod and dock courtesy of Robert and I STILL use it every single day. Much like I am now...listening to tunes and the kids play.