Got a pill, get a pill, give it to yo motha'

There seems to be a pill of some sort for every ailment or feeling of an ailment around...but do you think there is one to make my approach to parenting a bit less um...harsh? Is there a happy smiley mommy pill out there...or is it just a personality flaw I am stuck dealing with...or I should say my kids are? Will it make them better or stronger people because their mother is a wee bit snappy and dare we say distracted with them? Or will they hate me and turn out to be bums? I suppose it would happen either way huh...I could be too sweet and they could walk all over me...oh wait they do and I am not. THE man and I really trying to work on this slight defect we seem to have been struck with in the parenting department...anyone that knows me knows that patience is not a virtue I was blessed with...well not true in some areas (a sligth few) I have been known to become quite patient. However as of late (er always) with my children that is just the case. It's quite unfortunate really as now my poor vocal chords are getting a work out and my children might slowly be becoming deaf...it's a viscious cycle we have created...I say nicely do blah blah blah...they ignore...I repeat please do blah blah...the ignore even more....I now yell...they look at me dumbfounded and then ignore...I now have to really yell they slowly do what they were instructed. Maybe the defect is in them ya think? Or maybe they sadly have been conditioned to only respond when screaming has commenced...I am not quite sure. But the snappy bitchy mother is no fun...for me or them...or maybe it's that nasty Mommy Guilt that is the culprit and we are really doing just fine here in Casa de' beas...maybe? But I still want that pill....of course then you would feel guilty for that huh? What is it with that...why do we have to feel guilty....because we aren't like Perfect Mommy who does the homework and cooks dinner and has the spotless house and perfectly behaved children and seemingly perfect marriage...mmhmm that's why...it's because we have to give off this "perfect persona" at all times. Really I think one of the reasons I love...you love...reading all the blogs I frequent because it's yet another mother proving how imperfect she is...how she can't do it all...and has time to bitch about it! Hallelujah I am normal (well relatively...or something)! Of course then there's the ones that seem to be able to that I typically skip right on past because after all I need to feel better not inadequate! My house is not spotless...there are toys on the floor behind me...toys on the floor downstairs...toys in the hall...hell there's toys in the backyard. On a good day everything is organized and in it's place on a normal day it's not. We are clean...the pee spots on the toilets do get cleaned up..eventually. The dishes get done daily...the tubs get washed, the floors vacuumed but that's not to say my house is spotless...my back door is covered in muddy dog paw prints (thanks to the never ending mudd in my backyard)...suffice it to say as my MIL would say my house is strowed (wtf kinda word is that...I think she made it up) but it's relatively clean...perfect no? Liveable yes...absolutely. So go away nasty Mommy guilt...oh crap no I don't play with my kids like I should....like ever really. I read to them every night though so take that MG...I talk to them, I feed them, bathe them, teach them....Take that MG...but why is it that I have to play with their toys with them? Isn't that the point of them? For them to play and leave me alone? It is right? Isn't that why we spend bookoo's of money on toys....right?....So I don't have to do that...right? Mmmmhmmm that's what I thought MG so piss off....now where's that darn pill again...