Dream a little dream.

Ever since I was a little kid I have had the profound thought (for a kid) that maybe my life was really just a dream. What if instead of this all being real it was a dream. No, I promise I am not crazy. Not really. I remember standing on the playground in roughly 3rd grade at a school I hated wondering if maybe none of this was real. My life as a child wasn't awful but it certainly wasn't the happy childhood everyone dreams up for their children. But in perspective it was pretty ok. I turned out pretty decent and so did my brothers and really that's all that matters. Fast forward 22 years or so and you get me, now. Occasionally the thought flies past that oh no, this is a dream--this life it's just a dream. These little boys are a dream. I find myself quickly looking around for a sign that it's real--oh whew a toy on the floor, a dirty sock, a tipped over shoe, the car seat in the back--yes, yes this really is my life.

So the other day when this fleeting thought ran thru my head and I did a quick glance in the back seat for a car seat I wondered why this is a thought I have had from time to time. Honestly I have no answer for that--though as an adult now I like to think that it's because my kids are like a dream. That my everything is like a dream--a good dream of course. All of the ups and downs help keep things in perspective and interesting, because duh what's a good dream without climactic points. So really it's not all perfect, just perfect for me. Complete with flaws and screw ups--I loose my patience, I spend too much time on the computer, I don't spend enough time playing with my kids, I am forgetful, I can be a wee bit critical of others at times--though I am good and reeling that back in and think that this is something so many need to work on. Especially women, so quick to judge and criticize. "Walk a mile" Anyway so NOT my point. Honestly I started this post 2 days ago and started veering off course, had to deal with a kiddo, and really am not sure that I ever had a point. Just something that I thought about while driving alone the other day, when I did a quick glance to the back seat. And then let out a barely audible probably mental "whew it's real, they are real" sigh.

These kids are amazing. I suppose all kids are amazing, especially in their parents eye. But guys these little rascals rock my world. The other day Zachary's teacher stopped me just to let me know that "He is such a joy to have in class, and she LOVES him, and he's so sweet and so funny" How awesome is that? And Gavin overheard us discussing what 5x2 is and chimed in stating no 5x2 is 7 not 10. Well of course he doesn't know what times is and jumped to addition but um Hello---that's right!? So we quizzed him on a few and by gholly he got quite a few right and then says "You know I know that because I counted in my head" Reaheallly? Mr. Smarty Pants. And Jakeb, my sweet Jakeb. He's doing so awesome, making friends and good grades and has straight A's and is so helpful these days. They are just good boys--and some of it is good parenting sure--I will take some credit but honestly they are just sweet little boys. So while some may be us, more is just them. Their personalities and demeanors...fantastic little guys.

I will dream this dream over and over everyday. And I am glad you are part of it too.