Trying to try.

I am struggling a bit with my weight lately. I know, I know.... But here's the deal. I have gone up 3 sizes in roughly 3 years. That's roughly 30 pounds or so. Now I will give myself 10 for free because well I was approaching 30 so that's only fair. Duh. Aside from that not much else changed. In fact in the middle of that time period I ran a half marathon--ok well I walk/ran...either way I did it. And had my butt at the gym quite a bit getting ready for it. I did it. And that was that. I had all sorts of dreams of running another, of sticking with the running. Obviously I didn't.

The funny thing for me about running is this. I hate it, HATE it. Yet I often get the overwhelming feeling that I need to just run. And after a decent one (which isn't often because I have very, very little stamina) I feel fantastic. Getting myself to get off my duff put down the marshmallow cereal and the coffee is um yeah close to impossible.

The thing with my weight is that really its not awful and I know this but at the rate I am going....exactly. It will be. So we...er I...need to get a handle on it. Because it's creeping up and up. And truth be told I am kinda ok with how I look right now, I am mean I did birth 3 kids....and I am months over 30 but I don't feel great.

And really it boils down to this---love handles, jiggling stomach, and tight pants aside. I want to be in better shape. I want to go for a hike with my family and not need to request a "water break" ever few steps. I don't want to be winded taking my dog for a brisk walk--a long brisk walk yes but not a short one! Now my brisk walk is pretty damn brisk but still.

The problem with all of this is motivation and initiative. Aye. This is very hard. I really do know ways to change this or at the very least know how to work google. I know that I need to ditch the marshmallow cereal and I need to lay off the Chick-Fila. Chick-Fila I love you and your tasty sauce. And Dr. Pepper, sweet, sweet, Dr. Pepper.

I have a treadmill in my basement I nearly begged for it for Christmas--I got it. I have used it 3 times. THREE. 2 this week. The first time I used it I realized the delusion of exercising for an hour at home is just that...a delusion. At least on an ordinary day at home. It's so stressful that it's just not worth it. Exercising at home is like working at home--it takes some serious dedication. I get on there and notice a dirty baseboard or think of the laundry in the wash. So here's what I am proposing to myself.

At first I thought let's just give 30 minutes a whirl...and a diet change. I can do 30 minutes. I did them and realized 30 minutes is very close to 2 miles. So I did the 2 miles in 36min. and decided my goal would be this 2 miles and each time shorter. So the first time was 36 min, the second 32. I realized that I will get under 30 min and after I get under say 25 min or so I will bump it to 3 miles. This along with some diet change and I hope to see some increase in my stamina. Today I skipped and walked the park with Gavin and got my 2 miles. Gavin was on his big wheel so it was a brisk walk with pauses.

The biggest thing for me is that I need realistic goals. 30 minutes and ditching the Dr. Pepper is realistic. I think. And at the very least it's a start and right now that's what I need.