An Update--with a Twist.

Well as many of you may know that roughly 3 1/2 years ago we decided we would like to complete the family by evening up the numbers and adding kiddo number 4. Surprisingly we ran into infertility and found ourselves unable to add baby number 4. After much discussing and talking we decided to pursue adopting, something we had talked about in the past. I began taking measures to prevent any surprises along the way and things trucked right along with the beginnings of the adoption paperwork process. We are now patiently (funny idea right?) waiting for approval from C*lombia and are hoping it will come any day now.

However...you knew this was coming right? Roughly 6 weeks ago a surprise DID come despite all the reasons why it shouldn't or couldn't. It did....and we found out that baby #4 WILL be coming along afterall. This time the "traditional" way and sometime in November. Yep, I am pregnant. And Yes we are still adopting. Laughing? Yeah that's pretty much what everyone has done when we tell them...after of course they pick their jaw up off the floor. I am still shocked and I have known for 6 weeks and in fact until the baby is here I don't think I will believe it. We are definitely excited but definitely still working thru all the details of what this means exactly for the adoption. At this point we know it will delay things for sometime and it should. I couldn't imagine bringing home a newly adjusting child with a brand new baby---how unfair for the child...so we know that it's best to let things wait however much we don't want to. I am certainly learning to have patience in all sorts of ways and that I don't really have control of everything no matter how hard I try.

So I had my first official appt today and am 10 weeks exactly and have a wiggly little one be boppin' along that apparently was waiting for the right moment to sneak attack us.

Sorry for the poor quality photo. This is of the screen with my phone...their machine was messed up so no fab photos. PLUS I apparently have a jacked up uterus making u/s pictures of itty bitty's not so fabulous--without...umm...more invasive ultrasound options. But that t-tiny foot is cute at least...it was all stretched out kicked back relaxing.

Twelve for Tuesday

1. It's a gorgeous day today....and will be in the 80's here all week!

2. We are down to 5 more weeks of school for the boys.

3. This school year has really FLOWN by.

4. Today my goal is to get the boys laundry washed and folded...and make sure they get it put away when they get home. I have one load left!

5. I got my hair cut yesterday--a bit shorter than I intended but it's still cute and it will grow.

6. Still not one single thing to report with the adoption. We actually haven't even spoke with anyone from our agency in over a month....because there is just nothing to speak about at this point.

7. Jakeb is spending his week at school testing and testing. This is our counties week for GCRCT testing which is the big state test...good times. Jakeb seems pretty unfazed by it.

8. Can't believe we are fast approaching May...of 2011. Nutso-ness.

9. The azalea's out front have lost their luster and pink blooms--see ya next April pretty flowers!

10. My motivation has vanished lately....please let me know if you see it float by.

11. The 'hood is working on getting our pool open for the season....I personally think it should open MUCH sooner than the end of May.

12. I can think of nothing else to say....

Twelve for Tuesday

1. It's a gorgeous day today....and will be in the 80's here all week!

2. We are down to 5 more weeks of school for the boys.

3. This school year has really FLOWN by.

4. Today my goal is to get the boys laundry washed and folded...and make sure they get it put away when they get home. I have one load left!

5. I got my hair cut yesterday--a bit shorter than I intended but it's still cute and it will grow.

6. Still not one single thing to report with the adoption. We actually haven't even spoke with anyone from our agency in over a month....because there is just nothing to speak about at this point.

7. Jakeb is spending his week at school testing and testing. This is our counties week for GCRCT testing which is the big state test...good times. Jakeb seems pretty unfazed by it.

8. Can't believe we are fast approaching May...of 2011. Nutso-ness.

9. The azalea's out front have lost their luster and pink blooms--see ya next April pretty flowers!

10. My motivation has vanished lately....please let me know if you see it float by.

11. The 'hood is working on getting our pool open for the season....I personally think it should open MUCH sooner than the end of May.

12. I can think of nothing else to say....

ETA: Another draft....what's up with that?  Looks done to me :)

Controlling

I for the most part have known for quite sometime that I have a tendency towards needing control of situations. I can attribute this back to any number of things in my childhood I suppose...or just that I am the oldest, I am a girl, and um...I was likely born this way. One thing my mom has always told me is that my personality has pretty much been the same since birth. At least I have stayed consistent.

I don't necessarily see myself as needing to be the boss more as I don't like surprises. I don't like when things go wrong so I try to prevent things going wrong. Apparently this is part of being controlling, I prefer to look at this as being prepared but whatever. I am working on letting things go and realizing I can't prevent and control everything. This is not an easy task...and in fact it may just be making my anxiety in other areas worse. But maybe not....hopefully in the long run I will learn to chill. Geez louise though for someone who is needing to control things jumping into International Adoption is a good way to "overcome your fear" because there is pretty much zero control over what will transpire. Yikes.

So I am letting things go...or trying to. I am not standing over everyone around me to get things done and learning to place boundaries though I am not exactly sure where to put them and don't have many people to put them up for but it's a work in progress. It's a learning process I imagine will always be evolving.

On control--I have however managed to control myself and haven't had a Dr. Pepper in nearly 2 months. I have had Sprite but I can almost justify that...we have had illnesses flying around. I haven't been on the treadmill in weeks and I can almost justify that too--and I am not giving up and totally plan to be back on it soon. Work in progress there too.

Today Gavin and I get to register him for Kindy and that's just crazy. He will start sometime in August and that will be interesting. Gavin isn't exactly a morning person and while getting him up at 6:30 is no problem, getting him to cooperate at 6:30 is. He needs a good 30 min to an hour to be less monster like...and I have no plans to get up at 5:30. Let's hope that excitement that he is going to school with his brovers kicks in and does the trick. Or something...that one is definitely a little controlling. And it's a toss up on who wins those battles.

Tuesday Twelve

1. I am wondering if instead of going out to eat on the weekends we could use the money to instead pay for a cleaning lady. My energy to clean has vanished....or to do much of anything actually.

2. Jakeb is 9 and getting old enough to walk around the neighborhood to his friends houses...I don't like this.

3. Relaxing is hard for me to do.

4. I have also decided that the best way to make sure I raise responsible boys might just be to make sure they do most of the work around the house....this will be cheaper than a cleaning lady. And will also take some of the load off of me as well as teach the boys to be able to care for themselves....I think this is win win. Duh.

5. Pollen is covering my house--literally. We have had the windows open and I finally dusted all the pollen off the furniture. Well almost all.

6. The sudden green outside is kinda weird...I left for 4 days and came back to everything green and leafy.

7. The new office furniture is so much better than the old....because you know putting furniture in that was worse than the old would be stupid...but really I am so happy to be looking at nicer cheap furniture.

8. Hound dogs bark---a lot---and it's annoying. They also stink--a lot and it's unfortunate for everyone including him.

9. Hmmm....I wonder if a personal chef would be better than a housekeeper? That's a toss up.

10. I have to sign Gavin up for Kindy this week. Wowsers. Now if we could figure out how to keep the kid well.

11. I will be celebrating a birthday next month--my own.

12. I also am expecting a decent gift for both my birthday and mothers day. Shallow yes--but I have been nice every year about this...in fact I haven't cared....this year I care. *hint*hint* Or not....and I better not receive a ahem...foot bath or bubble bath maker. Just sayin'.

It's just beachy.

On Tuesday last week I woke up thinking, I want to go to the beach. Nothing new really because I often think this but this day was different. The kids were out of school and the funds were ok enough that maybe I actually could go the beach. So I said to Robert, "The boys and I are going to the beach in the morning....wanna go?" To which he laughed. But after much searching and thinking it was decided that we would go to the beach. Robert couldn't go so I asked my sister-in-law if she was down with last minute trips and would like to meet me at my house at 4am and head south for 3 1/2 days. She is and she did....and off we went.

We arrived Wednesday afternoon without a hitch and cozied up on the beach watching the boys play in the water and the sand for a couple of hours. Thursday we made plans to pack lunch and spend the entire day at the beach and then eat dinner at a restaurant we could walk to from the beach. We had a wonderful day--I decided that we absolutely must save money and one day have a condo/house/shack/lean-to on the beach. That my favorite place to watch my boys play is right there. They absolutely love it and can play for hours and hours. And we did.

However making your first lengthy appearance to the sun after 6ish months of hibernation should be done with caution. All of us ended up with sunburn gracing us in various places....Gavin and Jakeb on the back of their little legs, Zachary in 2 little spots on his chest, me on the front of my legs and the left side of my stomach. I looked amazing I promise. My poor SIL however got the brunt of it pretty much over her entire body. We applied sunscreen before we arrived at the beach and even reapplied but apparently not enough...oops. We survived though and lesson learned!

Early Friday morning I woke to a sound I loathe...a child vomiting. Poor Gavin came down with whatever bug Zachary had 5 days prior. And he was miserable. We were miserable and stuck, stuck, stuck. Let's just say I hope the hotel staff knows I tried. Poor little boy is still recovering. When you weigh 34lbs at nearly 5 years old stomach viruses take a lot out of you. He hasn't been sick since yesterday morning but has spent the last 4 days barely moving and barely eating. Which leaves him incredibly weak. Today he has seemed to turn a corner and is requesting food. He has been good about his fluids so I haven't been terribly worried about him being dehydrated and I suppose he won't really starve himself but yesterday I was beginning to wonder. This makes for the 3rd weekend in a row that someone has been sick. It's taking it's toll on me for sure. For the most part I feel the kids are relatively healthy but this winter/spring has me wondering. The last 4 or 5 months have been rough on all of us.

The beach was wonderful for one whole day and we will be back in June. Though it almost feels like we never went if I didn't have sand on the back of my van I would think it was a dream.

The past month or so has been a fog so it was nice to escape even for just a day. And sometimes it is just necessary.

Overwhelming

From time to time I suppose housewifery gets the best of me and my head feels like it just might come off if I pick up one more sock or wipe one more drop of pee off of a toilet. Cleaning up after people is hard and it's draining. Possibly I could be one of those that just doesn't think about what exactly it is I do all day that goes 99% unnoticed but I am not. Most of the year I am and then suddenly I sink. Occasionally the 3 little boys I have running around here making messes and rarely cleaning them will say something that leads me to believe that maybe they get it.

The thing for me is that I need recognition. There aren't awards and speeches made about the mother that stays at home....at least not while children are young and the mother needs it. In the end is what I try to remind myself, that as adults and older men the male people of this house will get it. Will understand why from time to time I seem to loose my mind. Over something stupid like a sock or a lego or that darn cup under the chair for the past month. All the things that just magically happen....that I do. And at times it's overwhelming and while I wouldn't trade my position and trek off to work I do need a way to keep my sanity. I have yet to figure out what that is...aside from hiring a cook, a nanny, a overall maintenance man, a cleaning lady, a financial advisor, and a personal shopper. Interesting that my one position is that of roughly 6 people. Yes this is basically a whining about my job post...whining that I have to clean the toilet again, that I sat in pee again, that the darn cup really has been under the chair for a month and I will likely be the one to finally pick it up, whining that the carpet needs cleaning, the budget needs balancing, good lord even about the mail that needs to be checked.

All of the itty bitty little things that eventually get the best of me. And especially now....when Gavin is sick again and I am tired and flat out overwhelmed. Until tomorrow when I will pull myself up by the bootstraps and get over my whining and get to cleaning.

Sickness and new friends

We are Day 1 of official spring break and Zachary is upstairs watching movie after movie in my bed. He is down for the count with a stomach bug. Frustrated? Why yes, yes I am.

Our windows are open and it's supposed to be 80 today and poor Zman is stuck in bed sick.

On a better note Gavin and Jakeb are not here and we can enjoy open windows and quiet. They have finally found a couple little boys in the neighborhood to play with....they have played with a boy a lot recently but he is 12 and while I am ok with them playing with him here under my supervision I don't know that I am crazy about them running around with him too much. He's a great kid, really he is...but he's 12 and they are not. So I am glad they have found some boys that are their age-ish. And they spent the morning romping around our yard and are now at new friends house doing what they do. And also staying away from germy mcgerm upstairs. Who is just fine to lay in bed and watch movies which also means he is not feeling well.

Have I mentioned I am so happy it's sunny and warm? Because I am. I am pretty sure I am one that suffers a bit from the seasonal blahs and days and days of dreary make me feel...well dreary. So sunny and warm and colorful make me cheery. Hardy har.

Robert's parents made a trek down to visit for the weekend and we had a nice one. We hit up Fernbank as we had planned to do for Jakeb's birthday weekend before it was sabotaged by the flu. Robert and I were able to get out sans kiddies for a couple hours and that was nice too.

Next up on the agenda is a 5th birthday for Gavin....wowza. Swiftly followed by ahem *my* birthday and Mother's day and one my brothers' and Robert's brothers birthday. May is a busy month. But for now we will enjoy April and our 4 year old for a bit longer.

Some things on Saturday

Quiet around here lately. Sorry about that....I know everyone is terribly missing my bad rambling ons about not much of anything. In a bit of a funk lately....lots going on here....but not really lots to report yet. Adoption is still at a stand still with nothing new to report. Our dossier was submitted a little over 6 weeks ago and that's where we sit with it. Colombia recently did some updating of their systems and until everything is running smoothly things are running slowly.

The boys are on spring break this next week and I must admit I am glad for that. Not having to get up for school and dealing with homework and what not will be nice. That and that puts us that much closer to summer and lounging by the pool. We are working out the details for a beach vacay sometime in June. Ok we aren't really other than to pick a week for Robert to take off...and that's pretty much all we have planned. It's a start!

Finally slapped some curtains up on the 97 windows in the sunroom/living room so that the neighbor no longer has to watch our TV. Not that he does but it does make things a bit more private.

We also are finally ditching the college furniture we have been using for our office. Bye, Bye plain boring pressboard shelves and hello not so plain and boring pressboard shelves. We will take things up one small step at a time. While I do certainly like to spend a decent chunk of change on kids our clothes and shoes I am not much up for dropping hefty pennies on furniture. So thank you Target for making furniture that is cheap but doesn't look like it too much.

In other news the boys are acing school....straight A's for both of them. I hope to instill a wee bit more of scholarly-ness in them than I had. I did pretty darn decent in school all things considered but really could have done much better. Besides that with all these little boogers running around in their fancy clothes they need to do fantabulous in school to you know...pay for college or something. Gavin is of course starting Kindy this fall/early summer. *gasp* Here in GA the particular county we are in school starts quite early at the very beginning of August. Which makes for a short summer...but also makes for several breaks throughout the year for which we are grateful.

Right...so have a great weekend!!

Cat-tastrophe

First off I am just going to say all you cat haters suck....cats rock, or at the very least ours do. Except when they have um....issues like ours do. But they don't muddy our carpets or chew up shoes or eat my food or bark or any other annoying antic our dogs bless upon us. Now dogs are great too....but most people think that already. Cats get a bum rap, not cool.

Anyway we have this kitty. His name is Patton. He's a very special kitty. Last year in May my dad was at my grandparents house and here crying and crying from a cat after some investigating he found a little tiny blue eyed ball of fluff in the basement of the house. The cellar type basment...kitty some how managed his way in thru the holes in the dirt of the wall. Our guess is from the deck that was built over part of it. Insane. He was roughly 4 weeks and we had to bottle feed him for a bit. He's turned into the sweetest cat ever. Snuggles and purrs and loves people. He's a big ole baby and has blue eyes I am jealous of. He's a cat I know....but he's one cool dude. Patton went missing Friday sometime. We didn't realize this until storms broke out Saturday evening...nasty, yucky, thundering, windy, lightning storms. On Sunday we sent out an APB email to the neighborhood asking for any citings of Patton to be reported to us. Robert pa-roused the neighborhood and neighboring neighborhood (I think I just said neighborhood too many times...)and no dice. More storms Sunday day and Sunday night. Poor Patton :( We hoped he was ok and hiding out in someone's house. Monday afternoon we get a knock on the door and some says they found our cat. In my panic the first thing I blurt out was "Is he alive?" lady looked at me like I was crazy. Yes he's alive...but he's in a tree. Very high in a tree. Our first thought was 30ft. Another estimate was 40ft. After purchasing a 32ft later it was determined he was roughly 50+ feet in the tree and absolutely unreachable . And had been there since Friday. Swaying and rocking away thru storms and hail and wind and all of it.

Many panicked phone calls later we found a tree service that would send one of their climbers out to rescue the cat. He made the rescue look just about easy. Granted guy was decked out in gear. But after 4+ days of no food and no water wind and storms Patton was more than willing to come down and be rescued. Again.

ETA:  Another Draft...not sure why I didn't publish this one?

Picture this Monday

Some pictures of our March....

Ready for their first soccer games of the season!

Jakeb is in the middle of the photo...running.

This little boy scored the very first goal of his very first soccer game!

We spent a Sunday afternoon at a new park...

We started our day saying "No getting in the water...." then said "ok just your feet...."

And ended the day like this....thank goodness I had extra clothes in the car!

This is what the flu on your birthday looks like....

Birthday presents help!

And so does Cake!

And THIS guy worked his hiney off to earn enough AR points to win a book and get to go on stage at school.

Green.

The trees are turning green and I am so blissfully happy to see color emerging from all the brown of winter. The pink of the azalea's is starting to peak thru and this next will be blooming in full force. Last year we didn't get to enjoy them so I am very much looking forward to that.
The past week or so has been a mess of busy and sickies. Our friends were visiting for Jakeb's birthday and a work conference so they were here for the week and that with our sick made for a interesting and almost confusing week. We loved the extended visit but were definitely bummed by the flu. Darn flu. Jakeb did luck out and get to miss the entire week of school and kick it with his buddy....but with that is a decent chunk of school work to catch up on. All are on the mend and we are once again able to be on the move.
I have been unusually lazy the past week or so and adapting a very much "I don't care attitude" regarding the appearance of the house. Now I say this with a grain of salt...because my "I don't care" attitude is not exactly a real carefree'ness. More of a I see the mess strewn about and rather then loose my brain I shrug and continue lounging on the couch. I do pick up later....but lounging on the couch isn't really my speed. But whateve. Sick kids man.
All will be back to normal next week and then we have spring break. After spring break the kids will have roughly 7 more weeks of school...7 more weeks until we pick up where we left off last summer. Can't wait.

Really?

Would you believe it if I tell you all 3 boys +1 came down with the flu again. And not just any flu but the same type of flu they had in January. Just a different strand. Type A...flu but different strand. I am beginning to doubt my decision to skip the flu vaccine. Drs. basically think I am crazy-ish for not doing the flu vaccine. I on the other hand just have a feeling to skip it...so we skip it. And instead get struck by the flu twice. However....the first time was relatively mild and this go round even milder. As in Gavin and Jakeb were better in 2 days. And Zachary was so barely ill it almost doesn't count. The bummer part of it all is that it was Jakeb's birthday weekend and his bff came to visit from TN and he got sick as well. He definitely seems to have gotten the brunt of it though and I hate that...because we invite him down and his parting gift is the flu. Not cool. In our defense we left to get him and came back to Gavin sick. Lovely. As for the vaccine...I am still not convinced the vaccine is the route we will take. I mean we can't vaccine against every darn thing. And the moderate research I have done leads me to feel that vaccinating every.single.year. may not be the best thing for us....but we'll see. Aside from that having 3 sick kids pretty much sucks...however it seems that this winter seems a little better than previous winters for us as far as illnesses go. We haven't really had colds floating around that linger forever. They have had a mild flu twice--get it, got it, and it's gone. And Jakeb and I have had strep once and again with that get it, got it, gone....pretty quick. Gavin's asthma seems to finally be managed well and I am hoping that by next fall/winter it will be even better under control. I am pretty much not a freak out about germs and I like to think that helps us build immune systems some how. Either way sickies are par for the course and I try to remember that. Suck as it may it is what it is.

Nine

Today Jakeb is 9. My oldest boy was born 9 years ago today---roughly 12 hours from now at 11:51p.m. At the time he was born the hospital we were at had a little "special" that they would do for "Thursday's Baby" and whichever baby was born first each Thursday was shown during the news. We tell Jakeb he was 9 minutes away from his TV debut. At 7lbs 9oz and with a head full of dark hair he made Robert and I parents for the very first time. We have stumbled along and somehow managed to end up with one awesome 9 year old little dude. And we are both insanely jealous of his awesome hair. Jakeb is my helper...he loves a routine and knows his. A friend recently asked me how I manage to keep up with their school work and things that are due and after I thought for a minute I realized it certainly helps that Jakeb is so on top of things. He comes in and does his homework without being told and reminds me of various things I may have otherwise let slip my mind. At 9 he is incredibly responsible and might just melt my heart when he proclaims that he loves organizing his toys. Granted this is rarely done but he sure appreciates it when it is and that is good enough for me. He is a incredible big brother and is stoked to be a big brother again...whenever that may be. He watches after his brothers and stands up for them. Now there are certainly times when being the oldest is hard work but he takes it in stride. He is finding his niche in soccer and absolutely loving playing and getting better.
Today on his 9th birthday he is sick with the flu. We are bummed as we had plans of trekking downtown to the museum and treating him to smoothies and pizza. This will have to wait until next weekend. It's a bummer being sick on your birthday but Jakey Badakey is hanging in there and enjoying lego building in between resting on the couch.
I am so amazed by this little boy everyday. He is growing into all the things we hope he is and can be and we are so very proud of him and all that he is. Happy Birthday Jakey Boy. We love you very much Jakey!

A secret

Yesterday we found out about You. The surprise of all surprises....I think everyone's response was the same. Giggling and shock. After 3 years of trying and giving up and deciding that the best way to grow our family was thru adoption....someone else had other plans. Wow. I am still sitting here speechless but vowing to cherish this very last pregnancy. A "second" chance at cherishing my last one. We had come to peace that your big brother was our last newborn to be in the house and yet here we are. So I am blogging...secretly until we tell the world. Until then we share with everyone the amazement that has happened...because we can't not tell everyone close to us. And at the same time explaining that we will be completing our adoption 100%....we love our new babies all of them and each of them the same. We have bonded with these children in our heart and mind and can't imagine letting them go now. So for now we are waiting and wondering what will happen. How it all will play out. For now we are in shock and cautiously excited. A family of 8. Awesome. How incredibly awesome. Wow. Wow. Wow. Happy St. Patricks day Baby....for this is the day we learned about You.

ETA: Another sitting in "drafts"...obviously since it was a secret :)