I don't necessarily see myself as needing to be the boss more as I don't like surprises. I don't like when things go wrong so I try to prevent things going wrong. Apparently this is part of being controlling, I prefer to look at this as being prepared but whatever. I am working on letting things go and realizing I can't prevent and control everything. This is not an easy task...and in fact it may just be making my anxiety in other areas worse. But maybe not....hopefully in the long run I will learn to chill. Geez louise though for someone who is needing to control things jumping into International Adoption is a good way to "overcome your fear" because there is pretty much zero control over what will transpire. Yikes.
So I am letting things go...or trying to. I am not standing over everyone around me to get things done and learning to place boundaries though I am not exactly sure where to put them and don't have many people to put them up for but it's a work in progress. It's a learning process I imagine will always be evolving.
On control--I have however managed to control myself and haven't had a Dr. Pepper in nearly 2 months. I have had Sprite but I can almost justify that...we have had illnesses flying around. I haven't been on the treadmill in weeks and I can almost justify that too--and I am not giving up and totally plan to be back on it soon. Work in progress there too.
Today Gavin and I get to register him for Kindy and that's just crazy. He will start sometime in August and that will be interesting. Gavin isn't exactly a morning person and while getting him up at 6:30 is no problem, getting him to cooperate at 6:30 is. He needs a good 30 min to an hour to be less monster like...and I have no plans to get up at 5:30. Let's hope that excitement that he is going to school with his brovers kicks in and does the trick. Or something...that one is definitely a little controlling. And it's a toss up on who wins those battles.
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