Sunday, April 10, 2011

Overwhelming

From time to time I suppose housewifery gets the best of me and my head feels like it just might come off if I pick up one more sock or wipe one more drop of pee off of a toilet. Cleaning up after people is hard and it's draining. Possibly I could be one of those that just doesn't think about what exactly it is I do all day that goes 99% unnoticed but I am not. Most of the year I am and then suddenly I sink. Occasionally the 3 little boys I have running around here making messes and rarely cleaning them will say something that leads me to believe that maybe they get it.
The thing for me is that I need recognition. There aren't awards and speeches made about the mother that stays at home....at least not while children are young and the mother needs it. In the end is what I try to remind myself, that as adults and older men the male people of this house will get it. Will understand why from time to time I seem to loose my mind. Over something stupid like a sock or a lego or that darn cup under the chair for the past month. All the things that just magically happen....that I do. And at times it's overwhelming and while I wouldn't trade my position and trek off to work I do need a way to keep my sanity. I have yet to figure out what that is...aside from hiring a cook, a nanny, a overall maintenance man, a cleaning lady, a financial advisor, and a personal shopper. Interesting that my one position is that of roughly 6 people. Yes this is basically a whining about my job post...whining that I have to clean the toilet again, that I sat in pee again, that the darn cup really has been under the chair for a month and I will likely be the one to finally pick it up, whining that the carpet needs cleaning, the budget needs balancing, good lord even about the mail that needs to be checked.
All of the itty bitty little things that eventually get the best of me. And especially now....when Gavin is sick again and I am tired and flat out overwhelmed. Until tomorrow when I will pull myself up by the bootstraps and get over my whining and get to cleaning.

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