Grumps R Us

So tonight as I was putting the kids to bed and having them clean up and once again was loosing my patience with them.--this is a nightly routine, they clean up their toys, I get mad because they don't listen. Anyway so right, after they are tucked into bed with kisses and hugs and music. I come downstairs and read about perfect mom #28234 who just got done with craft time or story time or how they spent the day collecting bugs for their science experiment (none of which I actually read tonight but that's not the point). They spent the day calmly and sweetly talking to their children, who are well spoken and never misbehave. I end up yet again feeling like horrible mom #3545. I seriously don't get it, I don't get how they do it. I try, I try to be calm and chill but it just doesn't work for me anymore.
There are certain things that push me over the edge with the kiddo's...the biggest of which is the the toys. I get so mad at the amount of toys they have that a) are broken or b) never touched. I then realize the amount of money we spend on toys on the kids and get sick. I think begin thinking about how the kids (and parents) are marketed to all.day.long. And get more sick. Then I think about the yelling I just ensued on my children and feel like crap. Media flat out sucks. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my Internet, I love reading blogs about other mothers that do the same mistakes I do, that also loose their cool but at the same time rock it in other ways as a parent. But the media that shows mothers as perfect and happy and chipper all the time just sucks, the media that shows kids how bad they need this or need that just sucks.
I am just not a happy chipper mother, I want to be. I want to be bad, I want my kids to grow up and think wow, was my Mom cool. She was fun and laughed all the time. But that's just not me. Right now I feel irritated and pissy with them 80% of the time. They leave messes, they get too loud, they break things, they stain things, they jump off things, they hit things, the cry, they need me to do things when I don't want to....all things I know I should be glad I am allowed to do. But in the moment and right now I just am annoyed. They are kids and they do exactly what kids do. And I suppose I am a mother and I do exactly what mothers do. But why isn't ok? Why is it so taboo? Yes I screamed at my kid because I told him 97 times to pick up his dirty clothes and he didn't. No I didn't get crafts out and let them just paint till their hearts content, being a-ok with whatever mess they made. I am not that mother and that's ok too. Now I just need to remember that...the point of this isn't to have someone tell me it's ok...*I* know it's ok. (though I still beat myself up about it on a daily basis) I just get sick of reading "perfect mommy" posts...and how "cheerful" everyone always is. Seriously whatever. It's not always roses and sunshine and you know it.

Tales from the 'hood

Dear Neighborhood Children~

Would you please relay all of this to your parent as really this letter should go to him. Please do not stand in my driveway as I am trying to pull into it asking me if my kids can play. Please allow us to actually get into the garage and remove ourselves from the vehicle before you force yourselves upon us. Do not make me actually ask you to move out of the way of my car so I can get into my house. Do not stand on my front porch pushing the door bell over and over, and then when I tell you the kids are eating and can't play right now do not tell me "Ok well I will wait for them here" and then proceed to sit on the front porch watching us thru the window or banging the rocking chair into the house. This is not a fish bowl. Go.home. I do not want to have to close MY blinds because you won't go home. Please let your parent know that this is bad manners and tell him that I don't find it funny despite my little chuckles about it. Also let him know that it is not my responsibility to watch you as you are too young to be roaming the streets anyway. At 3 and 5 years old you block traffic and all but cause accidents in front of my house daily. It is absurd that you are allowed to roam so freely and I am pretty sure your parent assumes everyone else will help keep an eye on you because of course we have nothing better to do. I do not particularly feel the need to sit outside and socialize while watching 10 kids every evening. You have let my dog out more times than I can count and that makes me livid. While you are quite cute children I do not need to see your face every single flippin' day at my front door.
Thank You Very Much~
The mean mother across the street who isn't used to this neighborhood thing.

Lazy Day

We are having quite a lazy day today and I am bored! The house is pretty darn clean and any other cleaning I could do would require more effort than I am willing to give at this moment (or any moment really). Gavin is snoozing on the couch--his choice spot to take his nap. Fine by me, he naps there easily so whatever works. Jakeb and Zachary are upstairs playing with toys, and on the Wii.
They both requested to stay home today so that's what we are doing. I squeezed myself into my swimsuit, grabbed a towel, and a book and plopped down outside this morning while they played in the pool. Though that of course doesn't last long before they are arguing, splashing me, whining to go inside, needing a drink, and basically just annoying the crap outta me. Despite all that I did manage to get thru a few chapters and relax a bit. We had lunch and are just chilling.
When school starts back my ever growing personal inner tube and I are heading back to the gym pronto. It's shameful that I haven't gone in 2 months. My membership fee comes out tomorrow and that is now $90 down the drain (2 months worth)....that and I have gained nearly 10lbs in the meantime!! Seriously that's insanity. Lazy ass eh?
I have started finishing up the boys 365's from last year so I will eventually get a slide show up of that...though I doubt anyone is going to look at 365+ pictures in one sitting of someone else's kid...I know I wouldn't. No offense. But that's a lot of flippin' pictures!
Starting to hear loud voices and booms going on upstairs guess I should get off my duff and go investigate before Gbabes is woken up and his after nap wrath is induced upon us all.

and BTW

So the food thing...I haven't forgotten...at least not completely. Robert's been home all week and we have done exceptionally well (for us) in the eating at home department. We have cooked a variety of meals and done pretty decent. (for us) Yesterday we fell totally off the wagon and had McDonald's at lunch and Jet's Pizza for dinner. Today we ate at Five Guys and left there feeling disgustingly greasy and gross...and I did vow never to eat there again. While it was delish the way I felt afterward was quite the opposite. So we are getting there...and I will continue to update...because I know everyone (you 5 readers.....Mom, Robert...) is on the edge of their seats wondering "What did Rachel eat today..." but not to worry I haven't forgotten. I wouldn't leaving you hanging like that.

One more Week

Of summer for the rugrats...Jakeb goes back to school next Monday, Gavin on Thursday (MDO 2 days a week), and Zachary the following Monday. While on one hand I am ready to get back into a routine...I am bummed for them that summer is coming to a close. We have done a lot this summer and it's absolutely flown by (as well as the rest of the year). Zman is completely thrilled to start school like his brother and honestly he is beyond ready and I am pretty sure thoroughly bored at home. This past week I have picked up a few things for them for the event..."First Day of School" both have a new outfit to wear and will have all their goodies. They need ZERO clothes but I did "splurge" and get them both a new outfit--both of which were on sale AND I had a fat daddy coupon as well. I am just a wee bit of a clothes freak for them...I like them to be dressed a certain way and get a tad bit carried away. Though Jakeb is starting to put the smack down on it and voice his opinions...and I am starting to hear things like "I don't know why you won't let me get what *I* want...." but he just doesn't realize I am doing this for his own good. I don't do the pretty boy preppy boy look...but prefer a bit trendy and old school apparently. Jakeb is certain that all the nasty looking Sketchers are THE shoes to wear but I keep reminding him that they are hideous...but alas I did fold and get him a pair this past year. Realizing maybe *I* am the one with no fashion sense these days...particularly when I was told "when I grow up I am buying my kids Sketchers if they want them..." and Especially when I starting recalling similar arguments with my parents, I am thinking I am the one loosing touch on what's cool these days. Though I don't think Converse is out of style...silly kids! and I don't care what anyone said when I was a kid appearance does matter....not that I would tell my kids it's THAT important and I would like think that they would care enough. Simple fact people get an opinion on a person often simply on how they appear before they ever get one on how they are. It's human nature....so yeah I get a bit over the top on the clothes thing...plus it's just down right fun. Weird I know.
Right so anyway...summer has been fun and I hate to see it end. I am trying to think of a few things to do with the boys this last week...though I am thinking we will keep it close to home since we have been on the go so much. We'll enjoy it either way!

Tuesday Twelve-ish

Been "quiet" around here...sorry bout that!

1. We spent the better part of this morning/afternoon with my grandfather. The boys love going to "Pappy's House" and it's always nice to visit with him.

2. Zachary is digging his golf clinic that he is going to, it's pretty cute seeing all the 4 & 5 year olds out there.

3. I just called an canceled my Gap Card (and don't tell but I MAY have canceled 1 or 2 others as well....but that's IF we had that many cards....). I have cut them up but that has proved to not be quite enough for my self control...especially since Gap lets you save your card online haha....bad, bad.

4. I am never having surgery again....I can't keep the blasted Dr. bills straight. I don't know why they can't make it easier on the patient and let it be paid into ONE account that the appropriate Dr. then gets paid from...instead *I* get 6 bills...from the anesthesia Dr, the hospital, the surgery dr., the drs, dr...etc etc. It's insane!

5. Speaking of I need to call and make a follow up...it's still rather strange having no feeling in various places of the left side of my face. I am guessing that's somewhat normal and it takes a while for my nerves to reconnect....guessing or hoping.

6. Shamefully I have NOT been to the gym in well over a month...and um yeah let's just say I look mighty cute in my dresses lately because I am afraid to even attempt to put on the shorts.

7. Robert and I bought lots of yummy food this past weekend and are actually enjoying cooking some different meals like THIS one and I cannot WAIT to do try THIS one.

8. I just updated my Lilac Hill Photography website...check it out. Lots of new faces!

9. Jakeb goes back to school in 2 weeks...he actually said today he's ready to go back.

10. Zachary is super stoked to go and I know it will be awesome for him to start. He really really needs the activity of it. I however am not sure how I feel about him being that old already!

11. I can't believe the amount of rain we are getting in July!

12. I got a tattoo while we were in Texas....if you haven't seen it yet it's HERE. Is it bad I still haven't told my Dad...at nearly 30 years old and I am afraid to tell him....sad. 5 dots...for us my bestest Jen helped me come up with it. I love it and yes it hurt...no I didn't cry...or even tear up, but then again it did take less than 5 minutes.

13. I have lots of pictures I need to get smacked up here..I will...eventually.

Sassitude

When Robert and I began this parenting venture going on 8 years ago, I know we both didn't envision letting our kids run wild and be utterly disrespectful. And up until recently I was thinking we were right on track the kids were relatively polite and respectful. However it's come to my attention that they are growing increasingly LESS polite and respectful....they are turning into wild, unruly, disrespectful, embarrassed to go into public with children.
Today was the last straw for me....picture this: Me on the phone with the bank over a $260 charge that has been taken out of our personal checking account that is 110% not ours...me trying to walk to a quieter portion of the house because the 2 older boys are getting loud, while walking away I am waving my hand at them to hush. 10 seconds later Jakeb walks into my room LOUDLY saying "MOMMY, MOMMY, EXCUSE ME, MOMMY!" I shoot him a shut-up look and shove him out of my room....5 seconds later I hear a very loud slap on bare skin....1/2 a second later I hear Zachary scream as loud as he possibly can...and then Jakeb start yelling that he didn't mean to hit him that hard and that he hit him first...2 seconds later Zachary starts trying to come into the room crying loudly. At this point my blood is boiling. I quickly get off the phone with the woman and apologize. Miraculously do not flip out on the children but instead snatch their little arms and march them to their rooms where they have been sitting for the past hour. I am STILL furious with them for that behavior.
I get that kids fight and kids get rowdy but that doesn't make it ok. Jakeb gets 2 pts for saying Excuse Me...but then looses 3 for yelling it at me while on the phone...and looses more than I can count for smacking his brother. So I call my mother to vent and bitch about their behavior. Come to the conclusion that I need to seriously stick to what I say and follow thru. Zachary yesterday got on the phone with a friend of mine...this friends children are VERY well behaved and polite. Before Zachary got on the phone I listened to her 7 year old speak so politely to his mother..."Yes mam, no mam, thank you" etc. And then Zachary gets on and the first thing he yells into the phone at her is "PEACE OUT, YO!" Are you kidding me!?! Yes that's my child...nice. So it's on...seriously I am done with the disrespect.
What's bad is after I got off the phone with my mother I sat down and was watching a show on Disney with sassy, rude, disrespectful children....first off I felt like my parents for thinking that because I remember my dad saying the same things about sitcoms. and secondly I see SO many kids like that....just down right rude. No I don't think TV is to blame but TV in combination with no discipline or discussions about the behavior= a bad result. So with that being said we are officially onto Behavior Reform. Wish me luck Jakeb shouldn't be too hard to steer straight...but Zman aka wild child aka Monkey Man....um yeah not so easy. And I won't even mention Gavin.

Oh right....

I was supposed to be "reporting" in on the daily eating choices I made. Right so Friday we went out of town--to visit my bestest in Dallas LOTS of fun--obviously we ate out all weekend. Monday I am thinking we were good...yep yes we were Wow. Yesterday just Pizza at lunch. So I guess not too shabby.

Finances...

So as previously posted Robert and I are working on a budget and trying to stick with it...(though over the years we have learned we aren't so good at that...but we do keep trying..). So there have been many conversations about it lately and apparently little pitchers DO have big ears...and they often over flow at the mouth. Today at Target Jakeb asked me how I was paying "for all this stuff!" I told him with money of course--after all it IS payday. And then got a semi lecture from him about the things I was buying that were NOT on the list as well as him asking me if I was putting it on a credit card. Robert and I were not so smart with credit cards in college and are still paying for it so he's gotten the "credit cards are horrible" speech. So right, we get up to the register and I am unloading all the stuff and hear Jakeb talking to the cashier..."So we don't have any money because went on vacation and we spent it all and we had to put things on a credit card" UM Shut up, boy!
Firstly while we did spend money on vacation that we didn't really need to spend we didn't put anything on a credit card (I am assuming he is confusing the debit card) and secondly it's not his business and certainly not the poor cashier at Target who wasn't sure how to respond LOL. As I checked out I laughed and said um yeah this is my debit card not my credit card and explained to her that he recently has gotten a credit cards are bad speech. She was slightly shocked...and it was then that I realized Jakeb is at that age. The age when some kids begin walking up to strangers and start telling them their life story. I have never been a big fan of those kids because they leave me feeling just like that poor cashier today...slightly chuckling saying uh yeah ok, not sure how to respond to the kid...however today I realized *I* have one of those kids. I hope he doesn't tell everything to his 2nd grade teacher....this past weekend he told my mother-in-law I said she was crazy. Yes someone needs to learn how to keep a secret (though I am virtually positive I did NOT say my mother-in-law was crazy).

Wordless Wednesday...

Well wordless as I can be...which isn't much...pictures from our trip...
DC fireworks...


Iwo Jima Memorial..

Women in War Memorial...

Changing of the guard..
classic...tired kids...Robert on his crackberry...


That dot in the back is the White House...
Lincoln Memorial...across reflecting pool




Jefferson Memorial

FDR Memorial

Not a fan of the sand...



My view...


Did I mention it's SUPER crowded??


Burying ZMan in a hole...

Eh...yeah

So I got Sonic today at lunch....I know, I know I JUST ranted about this...but we were gone ALL day long....I had to eat I could have packed a lunch but seriously who wants a PB&J that's sat in the car all day. Right so anyway....Sonic Cheeseburger, fries, and did you know you get a FREE route 44 upgrade if you get a combo?! *hanging head in shame*......

Tuesday 12

And we're off...

1. I can't believe summer is coming to an end so quickly! Jakeb starts school August 10th...less than a month away!

2. I also can't believe Zachario is starting school...as the day approaches I get more nervous for him than I thought I would be....though I know he will do AWESOME.

3. Did I mention we had a fabulous time on our vacation?

4. We are heading to Dallas for the weekend on Friday to visit my friend Jen and her husband, Jason. I cannot wait....I am so stoked. But am, as usual, nervous about leaving the boys...though it's only 2 nights.

5. Next week our friends kiddo's are coming to stay for a few days...the kids are super stoked. They moved to NC last summer and Jakeb misses his "first best friend" a lot.

6. Robert and I are working on sticking to a budget and it's terribly difficult. We like eating out A LOT. But it's killing us financially and we have to get some discipline and now.

7. Have I mentioned that discipline aka self control is not my strong point? Makes it extra hard...I ate 2 meals out today. Not a good start.

8. Maybe I should hold my self accountable here...I will...in fact that's a glorious idea...from here on out I am blogging our meals...home or out...it's here. I can see it. I am on here every.single.night. I have time to quickly post if I managed to stay on the wagon for the day or not.

9. Robert claims that my biggest "Achilles heal" is that I crave Dr. Pepper and that causes me to want to grab food on the go...this MAY be true but I still refuse to buy it for the house...again no self control I would drink it ALL day. Plus I am goofy and don't even like people seeing me buy it in the grocery store LOL...yes I am weird.

10. I did shuck, blanch, and freeze some corn on the cob the other day...I really don't mind cooking it's just getting started that I have issues with....that and I want someone else to do it for me.

11. The kitten has now chosen Zachary's bed to pee on...she's not off to a good start...

12. I am virtually positive she just went upstairs...so gotta go.....darn cat!

Home again...

Our trip to VA Beach and Washington DC went marvelous. The kids trouped around with us dragging them all over DC with minimal complaining. All 3 fell asleep on the Metro on the way home from the 4th festivities...sweet boys LOVED the fireworks and were SO excited to get there. We really had a great time, the beach in VA was PACKEd with people. I have never been to a more commercial beach in my life..nor a beach so crowded it was crazy. But the kids had a blast on the beach. The waves were wild, and they could only handle going in just a ways before we had to keep life jackets on them. 2 big scary moments while were there...1st was Zachary getting into water over his head, I was right next to him so I jumped over to grab him. Grabbed him and went to put my foot down to walk out of the water and realized *I* couldn't touch...talk about scary since the waves and current were nuts. I had a brief moment of panic and then realized I was back to were I could touch. Because of the rip tide there was a small area that got quite deep right on the edge of the beach...it went from my knees to over my head very quickly. I can swim but not well enough, plus trying to hold on to Zachary. Yikes. I watched other kids get close to that area for a bit and then let the life guard know that it dropped like that...I would hate for something to happen and me not say anything! So all was well and the boys stayed in life jackets from then on out!

The following day we got down to the beach and got situated...Robert ran out to the water and I was putting more sunscreen on Zman. Jakeb starts dancing around saying he has to go potty (yes POTTY) I told him hold on a sec and he gets panicked and says he can't. Robert is in the water so I can't just run off and leave so I yell for him and hand Jakeb the key and tell him to get a head start I am right behind him (we were RIGHT out from our hotel)...I could see him the entire way and I ran behind him before he was even off the beach. I ran into the hotel and no Jakeb...asked the receptionist and she didnt' see him come thru. Told her if she saw him to tell him to wait for me there. Ran up to our room...no Jakeb. Back downstairs...No Jakeb. Not panicking yet start asking around no one has seen him. Check the downstairs bathrooms...no Jakeb. By this point everyoneworking in the hotel is looking for him...parents that were in the lobby are looking for him. I walk out to see if he went back to Robert on the beach...dont' see him. Apparently instead of walking in the hotel lobby he walked into the garage (the doors to the hotel is right by the garage) because he got scared. Then when I walked into the hotel he walked back out to find Robert...but couldn't. THANK GOD Zachary looked up and saw him running down the beach. Robert then asked him were I was and saw me looking for him so he sent Jakeb back to the hotel to get me...but a hotel worker stopped him and brought him to me who had walked back into the hotel. Which freaked Robert out because he didn't know who grabbed him LOL. All ended well but everyone got freaked out. And more talking about what to do when you are lost started....because instead of telling someone he couldnt' find us he took off down the beach trying to find us! Yikes! And I must say that the Hampton Inn staff was amazing and seriously hopped to trying to find him...all of them on their walkie talkies all over looking for him.

Now despite those 2 scary events...we really had a great time! I think it was one of our more fun trips, it was great. We got to see lots of seriously cool things in DC...I mean seriously July 4th in our Nations capital! Monuments and memorials and the Smithsonian. Very. Very. Cool. The boys had their first experience with public transportation, they thought that was cool. We got some lounge time on the beach and had a blast giggling and laughing as the waves knocked us down...I managed to get body slammed into the sand at one point..YOWCH! But it was dang funny LOL. Overall a great trip...I have TONS...I mean TONS of photos. I am sure I will get some posted up in a few days :)

Look whose growing...

If you recall Gavin turned 3 in May, and to be fair I of course had to get some pictures for the event! So today was his day...with this gorgeous weather I snagged the opportunity to snap some pictures of Mr. Stink Pot...he did perfectly well and was quite the model. See for yourself...seriously tell me he's not A-dorable...



Ok I will stop here....there are more on the Lilac Hill Blog as well...

Tuesday 12, 13, 14....

I never seem to keep it under 12 so we will just see how far I get and promise not to get TOO carried away....

1. Gavin is on a food strike lately....drives me bonkers. Until about 12:45 today all he had eaten was 3 bites of a blueberry muffin, healthy.

2. Jakeb and Zachary are w-i-l-d lately.

3. We are trying to plan another "vacation" for this next week....Robert has a trip to Virginia Beach and are tagging along, he only works 2 of the days and we are going for 5.

4. We are pondering going up early and spending July 4th in DC...if we can manage the travel....currently reservations have been made but we'll see.

5. The boys seriously thought we could bring the new kitten with us and Zachary nearly burst into tears when I told him that was impossible.

6. After this week Zman is done with camps for the summer....he did 2 camps at the Discovery Center...Dinosaurs 2 weeks ago and this week is at Bitty Bug camp. He has enjoyed them but the driving back and forth has gotten old.

7. Jakeb had Art camp last week and loved it...he has another Mid-July. Crocodile Hunter!

8. We have been cleaning and moving things around in the house...it will tide me over for a while, things are a lot less cluttered...makes me happy!

9. Somehow I managed to leave BOTH my sunglasses and my cell phone in the store today...neither of which I realized leaving at the same time...which required 2 trips back to collect them. Lovely.

10. The cool front we are having is awesome....seriously.

11. I have been supremely lazy lately....like I haven't even had a shower today.

12. Yet I did give both dogs baths yesterday...go figure.

13. Gavin is refusing to sleep and it's infuriating me...so I am stalling...

14. Is it Friday yet?