Boys

I have 3--or 4 of them depending on how you look at it. I am a girl. I am not a girly girl, but a girl none the less. My idea of playing was baby dolls, school, and bossing around my brothers. I can get dirty and I love the outdoors. I don't do much makeup or jewelry or really any sort of fashion...but I am still a girl. When I go attempt playtime with the boys I find myself suggesting things like "Hey! I have a great idea...let's organize your toys...it will be SO much fun!" Or "Oh I got it let's stack these Lego's in to color patterns, YES that will be so awesome!" "What do you mean this Lego house isn't cool enough...hello it has a slanted roof, windows, AND flowers!" It occurred to me a couple months ago that I play--like a girl. I don't particularly feel the need to take hot wheel cars and smash them together at 9432 miles an hr. Or build a lego tower just to see how it looks when it crumbles. I don't need to rip the arms off my transformers and scatter the pieces all over the world house. Or take sharpies to my robots *gasp* Not my idea of fun. Hello!? You just ruined it! Now I will say this can be fun...sometimes... but most days no. To my boys this is fun. What they don't find fun--organizing things or stacking by color or exploring the woods (crazy bugs, duh). They prefer to beat each other with swords or launch hot wheels down the banister...I try to play swords or light sabers with them...but it appears that they think "Oh she's bigger, we have to hit harder" it typically ends in tears, shed by me. Those boogers are stronger than they look. SO consequently our play sessions are limited to coloring (which is me coloring while they watch and say yeah um I am going to go build legos) and the occasional train conversation. The rest of the time I feel guilty for not being able to entertain them or not having sufficient ideas as to how to play with them successfully i.e free of injury. All the talk in the parenting world is how you must play with your child...spend time with them...show an interest in them. Makes sense and all but damn ya'll it's hard work. And makes me feel guilty as hell, and then I remind myself... No I don't play but I love spending time with my boysies, love it...really I do. I am a-ok to kick it with them all day. But I don't do Lego's (other than really cool houses for Obi Wan or Commander Cody), I don't do crashing hot wheels, or being beaten with a sword. I do talk, I do read, I do sing (badly), I love to tickle, I love to hug and kiss and I love to listen to them play and giggle with each other. Hopefully their therapy sessions about our lack of play time won't be too extensive.