¡Prospero Año Nuevo!

Happy New Year! Adios 2010 and Hola 2011!

Twenty ten was certainly a busy year for us here in Casa de Beaz....and a good busy. We certainly had our down moments but we ended the year healthy (well if you don't count a stomach virus and a cold!) and here and for me that's a pretty good year.

Our move was certainly the biggest event for our family of the year, as well as our decision to adopt. We sold our second house and bought our third. I entered my 3rd decade--eesh!

We said goodbye to my grandfather for the last time. And I miss he and my grandmother a lot. Being in a different state softens that blow but I miss them greatly.

Settling in here in Georgia has probably been the biggest thing for us this year. Robert and I went on our first lengthy vacation without the kiddo's--and had a blast despite my worrying! The boys started at a brand new school--that we love. We miss our family but love the slower pace we have settled into here.

I look forward to so much in 2011. Finishing up our dossier and being that much closer to bring home our kid(d0's) from Colombia. Ending up on a list somewhere to wait! Learning Spanish as a family while we wait.

My baby starts Kindy--that I don't look forward to but I know he probably does! New friends and activities we will find in our new home. But I still can't believe it's 2011, I have been trying very hard today to hit the reset button on my mental time clock--you know a fresh "sense of time" or something. But I don't think it's going to work.

Robert took all the Christmas decorations down yesterday while his parents and I were out shopping (yes you read all of that write) and now it feels like maybe Christmas didn't happen. It went by so very quickly! Either way I am looking forward to a new year and all it has to offer!

A Holiday

Um so Christmas has come and gone. We had a wonderful extraordinarily low key holiday this year. No grandparent visiting, no family dinners, no traveling, no hauling cranky sugar filled kids to various houses, no wrapping presents until 3am, just a quiet Christmas at home. My mom came down as well as Robert's brother from Chattanooga and that was that.

Every year for as long as I can remember we have spent our Christmas's running all over. Every single Christmas Eve was without question spent with my dad's parents--this year my grandfather passed away and so did that tradition. One of our own family "musts" is that we are home Christmas morning and this year we moved so spending Christmas Eve or day anywhere else would not allow us to be home Christmas morning. So instead people came to us. Robert's parents are going to spend New Years with us and we will celebrate Christmas with them at the end of this week. My dad swung by yesterday and we said our hello's and swapped gifts with him. While the quietness has been nice it's also been strange, the hustle and bustle is part of the excitement of the season sometimes so it's just been a odd holiday for us. A great one just different! The kids have had a blast and spent 5 solid days at home doing nothing but playing with their new toys and hanging out with us. They went absolutely no where and spent several days in pj's all day, they were in heaven. It has been wonderfully relaxing for sure.

I have lots of pictures and eventually will load them up. Until then!

Feliz Navidad

(photos courtesy of Lisa Slate Photography)

Boo

Scare me scare you. (my grandfather used to say that all the time when I was little) Still around just busy busy. The boys are out of school for the year. I love the end of the year and all the "I'll see you next year" funnies. We are ready up for Christmas and are looking forward to the first year to host Christmas at home. Everyone is coming to us instead of us romping all over dragging kids and gifts and exhaustion.

Poor Gavin is sick with a stomach bug and I am crossing my fingers and praying that it doesn't make rounds. He's never had one quite this bad before and he's quite pitiful.

We had friends in town the first part of the week and I was back in TN over the weekend to hang out with my mom for her birthday.

I wrapped up the last of my Christmas shopping last week with lots of online ordering--cold weather and crowds didn't sound appealing so I opted for convenience this year. Which is so my middle name these days. I am super pleased with our Christmas spending and am glad we kept things to a dull roar this year and so is the checking account.

Things are coming together with the adoption we have every document we need for our dossier--minus our I800A approval, which I am hoping for sometime in January. Next week we have our biometrics done and while we are in ATL doing that we plan to get everything apostilled and ready to go. We are now sitting back and going to work on our Spanish! Robert took 4 years of it in high school and I had 2 so we have a few basics--Robert more than I. I am now kicking myself for quitting the class in college all those years ago.

My mom will be on her way down in just a bit and will spend Christmas with us, then my dad for a day or two, and then Robert's parents will be here to celebrate and help us ring in 2011.

Merry Christmas! ¡Feliz Navidad!

These 3

Have grown. Like A lot.

(photo courtesy of McDougal Photography-circa 2006)

(photo courtesy of Lisa Slate Photography circo-2010)

Where we are.

Just a brief little update on how things are going with adoption paperwork. Basically it's going. I am hoping to have our I797C approval letter by the end of January. We received our second copy of our Psychological report this morning--believe it or not we aren't crazy. Whew. That's a relief. Getting this report is taking more time than I was told it would but we are getting there. Hopefully it won't need any more adjustments. It was pretty much too short so she was asked to lengthen it. Ho hum.

Friday I received our FBI clearance letters--no arrest records. Another relief. But knew that. And that's about it. Once I get my hands on the signed psych report I will be heading downtown for apostille's and then sending a completed dossier package to our agency, and will just be waiting on our approval letter from the US.

Things are calming down for me emotionally about it at the moment. Last week for whatever reason I got myself all worked up about the time frames and the unknowns. But right now I am ok. I imagine (knowing me) I will get myself all in a tizzy several times before this is all over with--but we will keep on truckin'! Everything is coming together slowly but surely.

ETA: We received our biometrics appt letters today!

Re-evaluation

Wow. Doing some reassessing of the parenting tactics going on in this house this evening. Several posts ago I gushed on and on about how good my kids are. And for the most part they are and I still say that. However over the past few weeks and now minutes I have been thinking that our approach--or lack there of--is well...lacking. See in my mind it's pretty important to me that the kids be kids and that we don't force their little personalities out of them by strict punishments and rules. And for the most part they haven't taken advantage of this--or hadn't. I mean they never get in trouble at school. And when they go to other people's houses they are polite and follow directions--good deal seems we are on track. Except at home. At home it's gotten a little "Lord of the Flies" around here. We don't have a whole lot of set rules and we don't usually follow thru with punishments---I know I KNOW. But seriously we just haven't had to--a not so pleased look, a raised voice and that's been sufficient--or we have let it be. But recently it's occurred to me that it's not really sufficient. They are getting a bit out of control. When I heard Robert say to Jakeb, "I have told you 15 times to stop...." it was like a smack in the head to me. Why in the world are we saying that--because 15 times is so not a stretch...we really tell them 15 times and then totally loose it, they stop, and repeat doing it 20 min later when we aren't around. That my friends would be a non-approach approach. A non-effective way to get the message across. I do not feel like we should supervise their play 24/7, I cannot hover over my 8 year old all day to make sure he doesn't jump on the couch--because he should just know that's not ok and if he does do this--he will get punished. Instead he does this and gets a stern "Jakeb you know better....I have told you 95453434 times...." and does it again an hour later. This is not working. Now the other side of me says "Wellll yeah but he's a kid that's what kids do, it could be worse...." Hold up no. It will be worse if we don't get our shit together and put the smack down on these heathens. And the final straw was broken this evening it has gotten worse. It's game time on the parenting front.

Breaths of Calm

I have mentioned several times recently how "calm and content" things have been feeling around here. Sure, sure there are days of stressfulness, days when I totally loose my cool with the kids but instead of beating myself up about it I have been able to take it all in stride and vow to do better next time.

I have done a lot of thinking about my new found sense of relaxed I often feel....side note to say I am not always feeling this way but the fact that I am feeling it at all is a big deal. I suppose age is a factor, but I can't put my finger on exactly what changed in my thinking. And I realized that maybe nothing did.

A big change for us is that we have slowed down A LOT. It was happening before we moved--we weren't going every single day. We were home a lot more. Busy yes yes very busy but in a different way I guess. I was able to have time at home. And now that we are here, we are home almost all the time. Today as I was sitting by the fire folding laundry and listening to Christmas music in a quiet house, while Gavin napped. I was reflecting on the past year or so and all that has happened. How I seriously cannot believe it's December and how it really feels like it's summer still (not because of the weather cause DANG it's cold!). How us slowing down has given me time to relax and regroup and a chance to reset my brain. Being home has been wonderful for all of us. And maybe my lackadaisical house maintenance that has been going on isn't so bad afterall, because I am sure feeling pretty good lately. How maybe I will eventually maybe catch up with time, but I probably won't. But at least right now I don't feel like I am flying thru it and can't hold on--at least now I am speed walking on flat ground (have I mentioned I can seriously walk fast--no really I can walk at most peoples slow run speed--I so could be an olympic speed walker, not kidding) Anyway. Don't get me wrong there are certainly days where I feel stressed and my head momentarily starts spinning and freaking out but now, now I am able to take a breath and get it under control--most of the time. And this is such a welcoming feeling.

Now that I have posted this nice oh everyone is so caalllmmm...come sit by my fire and be calm and relaxed post. I have to giggle and must tell you that not 15 min ago I was downstairs in the toy room borderline flipping out over lost game pieces, giant dings in the walls, and little boys touching things they know they shouldn't--but also can't help themselves because, duh, they are little boys. But it was borderline flipping out...which is much calmer than the real flipping out that can occur and that my friends is all that matters...I flipped out calmly.

{Made}

So I found this little writing prompt project. Maybe it will help "prompt" me. Follow little link dude over there to read more or participate too.

So prompt numero uno (which is actually prompt 6 but I am a late starter. Duh.) "Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?"

A hundred ways to take this. Something I made. Well I am making this post. I made the decision to make this post. I made a phone call. I made cream of wheat for myself for breakfast. All of this I did so by using myself and my brain. My hands.

I am not particularly crafty. I tried to make curtains. That was a flop. I helped Jakeb make his project for school. That was not a flop. Last night I helped the boys make a gingerbread house. That was a flop. We used candies, icing, and of course the little pre-made pieces that came with the kit to assemble the house. Every year I buy a gingerbread house and every year I realize I just don't like them. Messy and gooey and messy. But the kids. Yes the kids enjoy them so I do it. I have realized that I am really sucking the joy right out of this activity, that is no good of me. I will work on it. I am working on it.

There are dozens of things I would love to make. But time and energy and patience are not in abundance for me so I just don't. I think oh that could be fun...no, no some day. Now is now the time for me to start 97 projects I can't complete. Martha Stewart I am not. What's funny about this is that sometimes I long for more "Martha'ness" I mean after all I am stay at home Mom to little kids. It's not like I never have down time because I so do. But I need it to do things like this post--and to eat more chocolate. I don't have time for scrap-booking, crafty lunch kits, spray painting picture frames, and reupholstering furniture. Once I decide if it's actually worth my time to do those sort of things or just read about folks that do. I have this perfectionism problem that keeps me from doing aforementioned activities. But I would like time, I just need to make it.

What about it

So it seems the first question we get when we tell a person we are adopting is "What made you want to do that?" It's also up there in all of the adoption paperwork--why exactly are you wanting to adopt? Of course the short answer is we tried for kid number 4 and it didn't happen so we decided to adopt. Though really it's much longer than that...there's much more to it than that. We've talked about it, so if your reading you know. I have, I think, always known I would adopt a child--when I knew I don't know, but now that we are actually do it it seems I always knew. I am not sure if Robert feels the same way--I don't know that guys think like that. For many there is a religious reason along with their decision, various bible verse's and callings all point them to the decision to adopt. I suppose I could call it a calling but that just doesn't feel right--a decision yes, but I have no bible verse to back me up, no further explanations other than my heart and soul say yes, do this. Does Robert feel the same passion--again I don't think so. But he's not exactly in the same "line of work" yes yes he's a parent of course but there is a different level of it for him. No worse or less just different. Is he excited? Yes.

I am so excited sometimes I can hardly contain myself. I think about the children that we will bring home, I wonder if they are born yet, what is going on in their life right now? I hope they are happy and know they are loved already.

Random but I don't know that I like the word orphan. I read it everywhere--"it's for the orphans" but something about saying that just doesn't feel right in my heart. I am not sure why. I don't think that if I was an orphan I would like to be called an orphan even if that's what I was. So because of that I don't like using it. But there does need to be something done for all the children who are in fact sitting in orphanages without families. Whose little lives have been so unfair and so hard. It breaks my heart. It makes me sad.

Either way I am stoked about these little dark haired cuties we will be bringing home sometime in the next 3 or so years. Yes, that says 3 YEARS. Or it could be 1 or worse 4. I am having a hard time this weekend with the unknowns. Everything is so up in the air right now and when we started this process I knew that it was lengthy and I knew that it can change but until you are working thru it it just doesn't register. I can't prepare, I can't talk it up to the kids or family. And it's hard. It will be beyond worth it of course. By the time I get my hands on these little ones I will feel as if I emotionally birthed them myself, not physically of course. Duh. But the emotions attached to this process are certainly the same intensity especially over such a long time period. Discovering that has been wonderful even if I know the emotional attachment I feel for them mostly likely won't be immediately returned. But it will grow in time.

But truth be told and what I try to keep reminding myself is that financially we can't bring them home right now or even in 6 months....we won't be ready for that financially. Now don't get me wrong if that came up we would SO make it happen. But not likely, very not likely. Sure we can afford to love them and clothe them and feed them but those big chunks of change that would have to exchange hands to get them home would be hard to accomplish.

All that being said one of the ideas I have had floating around in my head has finally gotten a jump start--well not so much a jump but a start none the less-- on the right over there is a little Etsy shop link. I have listed several shots I have taken over the past year or so and instead of flat out saying hey can you help us--which is not easy to do--I am offering a little extra for your help. I being a photographer LOVE having photographs all over my house--and thought maybe some of you might love that too. SO go to the little Etsy shop and buy a print! It's mounted and nice and sturdy and you can frame it or not--lean it on your mantel or cute little shelf. Give it as a gift, hang it in your office. Whatever. But do so knowing that it's helping a good thing. It's going to help bring 2 sweet little ones home.forever. And hopefully sooner rather than later. Here's the link.

And also don't want a print but still want to help? Wow. You rock and you can do so by clicking that little "donate" button over on the right side.

And don't worry I will be adding lots more images soon. But it's Sunday and I just got it up and running and am still figuring it all out. So yeah. That's it. It's out there.

Some things

to look at today...the boys finished rooms...I wish I could post a picture of the finished tree that looks fabulous but I can't because I haven't taken one. But the tree does indeed look fabulous. Until then...rooms...the dining room also. Which is the wonderful turquoise color also and looks mighty fine. I have a knack for piecing what we have together and making it look pretty ok and HomeGoods is my very favorite.

Tuesday Twelve.

1. This past Thanksgiving week was fantastic and much too short. The boys were out of school and family visited everything was wonderful.

2. I seriously canNOT believe it's almost December. I have been saying that all year.

3. My Zman will be 7 in 3 months. Wowza.

4. Gavin has been calling us Mom and Dad. No Mommy and Daddy...Mom and Dad. Cute, but so big. His older brothers are not catching on just yet.

5. I am so excited about bring 2 new little ones into this house I can't hardly stand it.

6. Speaky of...I tossed a little "donate" button up over there. I am mentally working on a way to help soften the blow of some of the costs we will be hit up with over the next year or so. Using my skillz.

7. I am not sure how I really feel about that little donate button over there. But it's really no secret how much adoption (or childbirth for that matter) costs.

8. It's cold here today...like 40's but seriously it feels like Alaska out there--ok not really but this southern girl this so.

9. I have worked my hiney off today getting sessions edited. One more to go and I can get working on my own Christmas cards.

10. I love Christmas Cards. I have sent them out since I was in high school.

11. We put up our tree this weekend. Awesomeness.

12. I love Christmas, but wish the buy buy buy could get toned down a little bit. I love me some shopping but for real folks we get a little crazy about it.

Woodsmen er boys

The boys have discovered the joy that is tromping thru the woods, looking for the best hideout. Sadly for me the only way to "the best hideout" is straight thru the mud. Muddy clothes, muddy shoes, and muddy little boys are frequenting my days lately....I am trying to enjoy their exploration and am a-ok with dirty kids, just not fond of the 457 loads of laundry. But I am trying to keep my mouth shut on it and let them do their thing--I have been moderately successful. Request #1 at least TRY to not get muddy, at least not so muddy you have to completely change clothes 97 times, request #2 please wear your boots and not every pair of your tennis shoes--you will have no shoes for school. I think these are fair.

Honestly I am just so happy that they have been back there playing that I don't care too much. So happy that we were able to get things cleared out enough that they can go back there, it's progress! Back there btw is our yard--we have roughly an acre and our house is pretty close to the street in the front so that leaves a lot of yard in the back. The house is up on a hill and then it levels out--across the little stream. There we have a swing set up for them and are working on clearing all the thorns and underbrush out so they have a level area to play. It's full of giant trees and several little clearing areas.

The wait is on

Our docs are now with our government folks waiting on approval. I expect to receive that sometime towards the end of Jan/beginning of Feb. Which is so not long and will be here before I know it....because with that is a soon to be 7 year old. Yikes. Not sure how that is possible--but here it is Mr. Zman is almost 7. Soon I will have a 9, 7, and a 5 year old. We are on our odd years this year....but holy crap that's one year away from 1-0. And less than a year away from all 3 boys in school. Again. Yikes.

One of the new challenges for me with the adoption is the inability to plan. Like I can't really buy much other than a mattress---or will I need 2? Or will I need the crib? I am mentally preparing for 2 twin mattresses--and at some point we will probably go ahead and buy those. But I can't buy clothes or toys or other furniture really. Because we could have 1 child, 1 boy and 1 girl, 2 girls, 2 boys. They could be anywhere from 6 months(not likely) to nearly 5. We are pretty much set for boy clothes well provided it's a 3 year old boy and it's summer....anything under that we don't have anymore. So if you know me this is like torture. I like to plan but mostly I like to shop...and I really love to shop for kiddo's and their clothes and room accessories. I have a few things I have glanced at for sure, but I have to stay far away from the dot com's...and at Christmas no less. Eek. Fingers crossed for my self control---though I don't think it will be too hard with us looking at such a potentially long time frame buying anything would just be silly especially with so many unknowns!

This weekend I trekked up to Nashville for a weekend chalked full of sessions...it was gorgeous weather and I had a nice little weekend alone. A busy one but full of successful sessions that I walked away from feeling great about, which is always nice. A nice little boost to the self confidence is always welcome! Plus the boysies missed me and that makes me feel extra special too :) Fantastic-ness.

Happy Dance

First off overnight shipping is amazing. That's some serious movement going on...package A picked up in Georgia approx 4:30 pm arrives in TX approx. 12:30 am, will be delivered to said location no later than 10:30am. I am impressed. It would take me a day if I drove it there myself, longer because I do need to sleep, eat, etc. And a day of it having personal one on one attention, this little package is traveling with hundreds of package friends. Again, I am impressed. And probably should lay off the coffee. Maybe.

Anyway. Final, notarized, and completed home study is, according to an unnamed carrier's website, waiting to be delivered to our agency by 10:30 this morning. Once that happens, it will be checked over and then stuffed right back into an envelope along with our I800A and our check and rushed on down/up/over to USCIS. Rock on with your bad self, this is a good thing. In roughly 60-90 days we will then receive our nice little approval--because duh what reason would they have to NOT approve it (*knock on wood* hoping I didn't jynx us right there). And then everything is off to C-o-l-O-m-b-i-a. Awesomeness. I know you are doing a happy dance too--no? Have a couple cups of coffee.

ETA: Package was signed for at 10:03 am. Wow.

ETA(again): Everything looked perfect, I800A was sent to USCIS Friday afternoon!