Hello.

Did I mention that the hard drive on my computer died?   I feel like I did…no worries it was promptly fixed the very same day and due to my mad backing up skills I am fairly confident I didn't lose a thing.  I have spent much of today working on restoring my photo editing software and also trying to track down the product key to "Office".  I would like to also make it known that the customer service for both Adobe and Microsoft is junk.  Both got me no where and I was able to work out the issues on my own with less then zero help from either company.  I may have moderately ranted at both and then finally gave up and thanks to my friend google we fixed it.
I spent some time going thru some pictures the other day looking for something and realized that I haven't taken a picture with my "big camera" in months so I actually brought it along for our "pumpkin farm" adventure on Sunday.  Hence the sudden need to get my photo software up and running.
Nolan is all about animals…and was super excited to see them and watch them…his brothers were equally as excited about HIS excitement so capturing all of that was good to do with the "mama camera".
I have SO many pictures of Nolan and right now it's no big deal he's cute, he's right next to me all day…and his brothers are less "hey take my picture" so he gets more camera time.   But I know in a couple years I will be looking for pictures of the big guys and be kicking myself that there aren't as many.   So I am working on making sure to bust out the camera for their cuteness….despite that attention stealing baby I certainly DO want to remember all the cute and funny and silly things they do just as much.   And being that my memory is for the birds on every day events…pictures are how it's done.  And also this here blog….Baseball season is done so I am working my way back to some semblance of sanity.  At least for the next couple months.
Speaking of baseball the boys rocked out an awesome season.  Zachary's fall team brought in the championship for their league so that's TWO championship teams for Zman.  Awesomeness!   Gavin's team did great as well and they were so fun to watch and cheer on…Gavin could really take or leave baseball but at 7 I think that's allowable!
Nolan's 2nd birthday is so very soon and we are so very unprepared for the shindig we have planned.   As in I sent out evites and may or may not actually get paper invites sent.   For many many birthday's now invitations have been "painstakingly" tackled via my elementary photoshop skills…this year it may be a mad dash to Target to get something cute and call it a day.   Or it may not happen at all.   Tomorrow we will find out!  Somehow I let this one sneak way up on me….maybe it was denial that he is going to be 2?

Um yeah.

I know I say this all the time but I want to write here so much more often then I do but I sit down to type and "write" and my thoughts just float right out the window next to me.  I get so discouraged that I just don't "write" and wait until I can hammer out a "12" or a slap some pictures up and call it a day.  We are quickly approaching our 4th year here and while it feels right....it feels wrong.  Nolan was our first baby born "out of TN" and that's so strange....we are TN folks.   Goodness all 3 of the big boys were born in the very same building I was.  And wow apparently I care about that....and really?  I would never have thought that mattered and it doesn't but it does and doesn't.  I still feel like I blog about this move so much.  The changes and the new stuff and the differences and the sameness and how this is home but not.   How we love it here but.....
And we do love it here but 30ish years in the same place is a long time and adjusting takes a long time and soon I will think....TN is always home but GA is too.  In the meantime we fumble around trying to make this home and it's happening but 30 years is a long time in one place.  We sure love it here and the people we have met and, and, and....but, but, but.....  Exactly.
It's nearly midnight and today I watched a football game where TN vs GA on my own.  For the first time.  I don't watch football but lately anything TN I want to grab and squeeze and make my very own like it's mine and mine only.  But yet...I love being here and this life.  Still I miss so much of before though so much of what I miss is stuff that I would miss TN or not.   But GA brought Nolan and I would never ever want to change or take that back.   And so I will root for Ga and for TN and love them both...but always TN more.
So....Georgia is home and it feels just like that....a new home....a new home to learn and to love.  Even 3+ years later.
I am not sure my point here....just rambling like always and like normal.  Talk to me on the phone and you get much the same.  Jumbled thoughts and run on sentences and I am learning to love and to like that too.  It's me...always and forever.  Something I have been learning to like and love for a long LONG time.  Somedays it works and somedays it doesn't.  I think that's the norm for most....though they wouldn't say that but also they wouldn't say otherwise either.
That's kinda funny really if you think about it...this facade we lead others to believe and see.  One of happiness and "having it all together" but really...REALLY no one I ever talk to feels that way.  Except those that feel that way but really don't but just can't say it to themselves and god forbid anyone else.  And one time not too long ago that was me and now most days that isn't anymore.  And that's ok.  I am so glad...I hate the self imposed pressure.   Goodness like the last run on sentence or two.  I don't even like the pressure of trying to write properly...so I don't.  Rebel like that.   Or something like that.
ANYWAY.
Have a great weekend!

Sunshiney Sunday

It's starting to get cool at nights, we have had windows open for weeks now and my goal is to hold out as long as possible before cranking on the heat.   The daytime temps get us toasty in the afternoon but chilly in the early mornings.  But I am dreaming of that lower electric bill and vowing to hold out.  We currently have 4 kids in 4 different locations.  I am home while Nolan squeezes in a nap.  Sweet boy is such a trooper and just rolls with all of the busy-ness that we have, so I try to get naps in at home as much as we can.   Robert just left with Gavin for baseball pictures and a game.  Zachary is at a birthday party down the street and Jakeb is at a friends house. Yesterday we enjoyed a day mostly at home and enjoyed the fall weather rolling in.   Today is sunny and breezy  with just enough sun to be warm.   A great day for baseball.
I haven't written much lately...not for any reason other than I sit down to type and my thoughts don't really flow.  Driving in the car, taking a shower, sipping my coffee in the morning those are my thoughtful moments, well my most thoughtful.  We moved furniture around in the boys rooms this morning.  Nothing major...unbunked the beds and are shifting toys and what not again to the basement. Slowly but surely getting the basement back into a "hang out" room of sorts for the kids and for us.  
Our laundry list of things that need to be done in the house continues to grow but I still feel content here.  It's nice to have that feeling.  I didn't feel it in our other homes as much...I knew they were stepping stones of sorts.   I don't think we will be here forever but at the same time can almost see and feel that.  This house isn't all that I dream and envision but it's close...the big yard with a creek and room to grow.  The fixing of things and the lay out a resounding NO.   But we will get there one step at a time.   The boys are happy here.  It's home for sure.
The burst of energy I get at season change is always nice to get things done and shuffle things right out the door.   We always talk about garage sales and consignment sales and while I know the money is there to earn back...the work is just not worth it right now.  So out they go to good will or to new homes.  The ever growing mound of clothes I have needs to shrink some how.  Now with the foster care adventure fast approaching I need the extra clothes but the "for who" part is tough.   So I have to hold onto some and some things go.   So season changes are good for me, a clean out is always good.
Enjoy the day friends!

Twelve on Tuesday

1.  Not sure what is up with the giant pictures on the previous post...

2.  Nolan is fast approaching 2...crazy!

3.  It is also fast approaching winter...also crazy.  Today is for sure jean/long pants weather.  It's a bit chilly out!

4.  We had a break last week from school...we didn't go anywhere but it was VERY nice to get a few things finished around the house.

5.  We are STILL waiting on our approval...frustrating to say the least but um we REALLY need to get used to that...pretty sure that is par for the course for nearly every part of foster care.  

6.  Not too very long after Nolan turns 2...Zachary will be 10.  We will have 2 kids in double digits.  Wow.

7.  I went shopping with Jakeb the other day at the mall and it was very strange to be walking thru the mall on a Saturday night looking at all the teens and here I am walking with my Preteen...how did he get that old and also wasn't I just strolling thru the mall on a Saturday night with my friends?!  Weird.

8.  I also have a dr appt tomorrow about my hip pain....clearly I wasn't JUST a teen.   I have hip pain.  Awesome.

9.  I also have a dr appt on Friday about my foot pain...because I can't walk and fell down the stairs (that I have yet to finish) nearly a year ago and jacked my foot all up.   So that's also awesome.  But it kinda is because um a year ago?  and I am just now making myself go...yeah so it IS awesome actually.

10.  I love the cool weather but am not really ready for COLD weather.   I need a state that has 3 1/2 seasons.  I just want like a week of cold and snow....the dreary months of winter are just blah.

11.  Our pup Lucy is awesome but also a puppy and I am kinda over her chewing on things.

12.  Loving having the windows open!

Pictures...

From the beach....from July...it is now September.  Better late than never?   

It's happening..

Life is happening...faster than I can keep up with most days and certainly faster than I can blog about.  We are blazing right into busier times and while some days I think whew this is a lot, most I enjoy the busy-ness.   I enjoy most of the day at home with Nolan we have a good little routine and with our occasional errands or trips to the school we stay close to home.  So my days are busy and slow...house hold "chores" and hanging out with my little bear.   Afternoons tend to get a little chaotic and by 8pm I stop and think well ok then...another day down.  It's 9 now and like most nights I am in bed scrolling thru "my websites" I frequent and enjoying my quiet down time.  I am an odd bird and rarely turn on the TV.   During the day Nolan and I listen to Pandora a lot...my current favorite stations are the "Of Monsters and Men" station and the "Lana Del Rey" station.   

Nolan is all about "Bubble Guppies" and asks to watch "Guppies" a lot during the day....last week he called them "Gubba Gees" and now he has mastered "Guppies".   He is talking so very much lately.  Many words he couldn't say he is mastering...Phone used to be "feefee" and now it's "phone".  Fortunately he is still calling Gavin "Guy-Guy" and Jakeb is still "Sobe'", Zachary has now progressed from "Zassy" to "Zachy".   

The boys are all doing fabulous with school.   I am so very proud of all of them.  They really are great little and not so little boys.   I would love to toot our own horns but most of it is just them...sure we parent how we parent but their personalities certainly shine thru and I love watching them grow and blossom into the people they are.  Jakeb is doing so well with middle school so far and I am so thrilled with him and for him.  Homework is catching up with him a little and right now he's rocking a cold but he is doing so well keeping up with his assignments and folders.  I am sure the novelty will wear off soon enough but he is just doing great.

Zachary our "wild man" is so studious it is some times surprising.  He has a wonderful work ethic and he too tries very hard to do well and keep up with his work and assignments.  He is in 4th grade now and I am still having to remind myself that he's no longer in 3rd and the fact that he is closer to 10 than 9 is amazing.   He is thoughtful and considerate.  This past week he brought home a little note a classmate had written about him stating "Zachary talked to me and played a game with me".  I love that his teacher does this.   

Gavin, our silly goose lately.  He's our little math whiz.  He is now in 2nd and again I keeping calling him my 1st grader... and then saying wait no 2nd.  I swear this last year went by at lightening speed.  We all keep having to remind ourselves that he is now 7 and not 6.  He is so darn sweet and thoughtful....he loves to be helpful.  He also isn't is a fan of school and rebels that nearly every single morning.  He is trying to be better and I know he will get there.  He struggled with homework the very first night and now rocks it out without much complaint.  Tonight I felt his frustration growing but he was able to keep that in check and stayed calm and that is awesome.   He is learning to love to read too and that is fantastic!

A brief update on the kiddo's....or a brief brag fest eh?   Two days ago I wouldn't have said all of this...I would have griped about how they didn't do dishes and didn't pick up their clothes....but sometimes I just like to remember how really great they are...how all of the other frustrations are so minimal compared to all of the ways that they do so very well.  The frustrations that I know echo nearly every other parent around.  Certainly not reason to ignore them but definitely not things to dwell about...

I wanted to do a 12 yesterday but obviously didn't...maybe next week.  Our summer weather has been so mild lately and I am loving it!  Poor Nolan is pretty eaten up with mosquito bites from our outside time but it's just been so nice out we have to enjoy it.   Hope everyone is able to do the same!

  

Twelve on Tuesday

1.  We made it thru the first week of school relatively unscathed.   Despite 2 colds already we are trucking onto week 2.

2.  Jakeb is enjoying middle school and the independence it allows...while he seems overwhelmed with the abundance of new information he is receiving he seems to be really enjoying tackling it all in new larger environment.

3.  I find myself wanting to video every little cute thing Nolan does...so we don't forget.  I never can catch it all...my new faves are him cheering when people applause on TV.  He claps, says "yay" and "woo" in the cutest little voice ever.   He also likes to copy me calling for Lucy in a stern voice...claps his hand yells "suuussssy COME" in this little growly tough boy voice. The cutest.

4.  Discovered we had a few more paperwork items to knock out for our home study....nothing hard to obtain and in fact I had everything but one item in my hand in 5 minutes.  The last (a septic inspection) is a little bit more time consuming so working on getting that finished up.  

5.  We are still having to work out the kinks in the pick up/drop off routine....thus far I take Zachary and Gavin come home and snag Jakeb and then head home.  Z and G ride the bus home and shortly after they get home we go get Jakeb....not sure how we are going to work out his bus venture.   The bus won't get home until 4:15 and he has swim team starting at 4:30 soon.  That's not going to work. 

6.  I don't mind the morning shuffle it gives me some quiet car, coffee, and chat time with the boys.  

7.  I would like to load some more beach pictures up one day this week...hopefully I will get to it!

8.  Nolan is at the age I miss the most with the big boys and while there are times when I need a break for the most part I am just really having fun with him....despite his less than stellar sleep habits he really is a happy cheerful little guy.  

9.  I still can't believe I have a middle schooler.   Amazing but also kinda cool.  

10.  Zachary has turned into quite the worrier lately...I hate that feeling that he is having...I know it all too well worrying is no fun.

11.  I am trying to be better about getting to sleep at a decent time.  It really makes a huge difference in my near painful feeling of having to get out of bed at 6!

12.  Gavin is turning into quite the little reader and is really enjoying the "Magic Treehouse" series of books!

First Day of School

(they are laughing because I told Gavin to fix his face....the grumpy mad one)

Twelve on Tuesday.

1.  School started yesterday!  On one hand I was ready and on the other I really do enjoy the boys being home and the relaxed schedule.  

2.  Dropping Jakeb off yesterday at the big middle school was HARD.  I had geared myself up and was ok and he was ok...until the morning of and then he was really nervous which made me really nervous and then he got out of the car and looked so little and nervous and scared and then I nearly burst into tears.   When I sent him off to kindergarden I walked him to class and stood around with him and introduced him to his teacher and made sure he was ok.  You can't do that when they are 11 even if you want to....even if he deep down wanted me too.   He had to navigate something new on his own...and that's scary and good and part of growing up.  I was very proud of him.

3.  Gavin and Zachary barely even told me bye...they let me take their picture in front of their classrooms and didn't give me a second glance.   They have both been at the same school for 3 years now, they know all the teachers and all the kids so they were ready!   Perks of a small school!

4.  We are days or weeks away still from being approved for foster care...crazy!  I have been saying the same thing for weeks now...it hasn't changed.

5.  Robert finished the boys "closet" in their room over the weekend.  I LOVE that that is finally done...no more clothes stuff all over.

6.  I am finally starting to feel less guilty over hiring cleaning people.   It's a HUGE help....I rarely have help with the house work or the kids and this is my help.  It's a splurge for sure but a well spent one.  

7.  This is my last week keeping the little baby girl I have been watching.  We will be sad not to see her every week but it was time...our schedule is going to be picking up and both her parents and I need more of a set "schedule"  

8.  Nolan is talking up a storm...his newest phrases have been "Dog, bark" "Mommy, Home" and "Mommy, comp!" aka come

9.  With the return of school is the return of "morning Gavin"...morning Gavin stomped down stairs this morning and announce he was NOT going to school.  I told him he needed to get dressed and he said "No I don't, I already told you 100 times I am NOT going to school"   Ok then....we try to ignore "morning Gavin" he usually snaps back to nice everyday Gavin as soon as he eats.

10.  Zachary is in 4th grade this year and seems so very "mature" and ready for 4th grade.

11.  We have had a very mild summer...it's been wonderful!

12.  I can't think of another one!