Parenting...Just do it.

This morning I am sitting down to do something I rarely do and often advise against.  I am looking up parenting advice.  Not advice as a general "How to be a great parent" but the kind about a specific issue.
I am not really one for parenting books or parenting columns...I love a good funny real parenting blog or story.  But those parenting books or articles or movies or what have you's that basically make you feel like a terrible parent?  Me no likey.  Because here's the thing with parenting...you just do it.  And sure there are some people that really need a good book about positive parenting or not spanking or goodness probably more that need a good book about how to not ruin your kid with TOO MUCh positive parenting...because hello WORLD.  Not so positive.  Anyway...Parenting is hard and some advice and help is totally good and totally needed but most of the time you just need to go with your gut.  It's there that spot in your head and heart telling you what to do....we just start over thinking it way too often or just ignoring it all together.  
One thing I have learned over the course of my 11+ year parenting stint and also in my 32+ years of life...90% of the time everyone turns out ok despite it all.   In fact it was just talked about in our foster care classes....these kids have been thru hell and yet are still amazing and resilient little people who just keep on truckin'.   And they will...even if you lose your temper and yell or even if you never punish them for being mouthy or never punish them at all.   If you spank them or don't spank them...they will be ok.   Despite the research saying they will be in therapy or that their brain stress levels are slightly elevated--mine are often VERY elevated and thank you hectic childhood because now I handle it better than most...they will be OK.   Because they just are...it's a catch 22 all day long.  Too much "coddling" and they aren't ready for the world...too much discipline and they rebel.   But basically you have to find what works and what you think works and hope for the best.   Because now matter how you slice it and dice it that's just how it is.  You could do it all perfect and by the book and then low and behold they get caught up with the wrong crowd at 16 and go downhill from there or they don't and wake up one day and decide they aren't down with you because they just aren't.   So we do the best we can with what we know and also with what feels right for us.   I read so many parenting articles by chance or by quick glance that are so judgy and don't do this and do that and it's so frustrating.   The lack of just general every one do their thing and we get a long is so tough in the parenting world...the MOM world.  Because hello Dad's do not have these issues...they are like oh dude it's cool whatevs.   Because it is cool and whatevs...it just is.
Zachary and I are butting heads lately...something we will likely always do.  We are a like that boy and I....stubborn, a little mischievous and devious, and a lot of heart.  That and we like to argue...a lot...and lately with each other.  So I am looking up some advice on dealing with a arguer (hello self..don't argue...duh) and a know it all and a middle kid.  *I* not being a middle kid don't know the issues the middle kid feels.  I was an oldest and a demanding little booger at that...I may or may not still be a demanding booger but that's not the issue.  So we try to be aware and fair and all that jazz but juggling it all is just hard.  One needs this and the other needs that and oh my goodness this one needs something completely different.  SO yes, Zachary needs some special love and special attention to know that he is just that...special.   Because he is and maybe we aren't telling him enough.   But maybe we are he just isn't hearing and we need to be louder...cool I am good with being louder.    We will keep in truckin' and do what we do to make it work and hope in the end we are happy and all talk to each other.   Relationships FTW!