I am obviously having some difficulties blogging lately. One of them is 14 months old and obsessed with my mouse and the other is not being able to think of a darn thing to say. Or in fact...I can't narrow it down to WHAT to say. Like should we talk about the horrible'ness of December 14th or the fact that Russia has stopped adoptions to American's or maybe I should blog about Christmas and the New Year or just none of that and talk about how things are here. So really I just don't know where to begin because I feel like I can't blog about one until I blog about the other but I don't even know what to say in the first place about either. So we are at an impasse the ole' blog and me.
The winter blues are setting in too and that's a bummer. The sun isn't expected for at least the next week though in the meantime we have 60 and 70 degree temps. I am feeling the need to chase the sun and bask in it somewhere. I get this way nearly every January...antsy and ready to hit the open road...ready for a trip a little getaway. In fact I realized the other day that every time we have moved has been in Feb/March...which means we made the decision to move in January. This year I feel no desire to move houses but I am feeling antsy. Home painting and repairs are on my list and getting tackled...
For those that are curious...our adoption plan...we decided to leave our file in Russia while we made our decisions. One of the reasons we chose NOT to do adoption in the US and out of foster care was and is fear...fear of falling in love with a child and them being taken. Yet here we now sit afraid to switch to a new country again...to do the paperwork and begin dreaming of a child and thinking of how we will celebrate and embrace their heritage. So knowing that the risks are there either way we are looking into foster care adoption....we are going to a meeting next week. We will see what they say. For now our plan is to find out more and if we decide we are going this route we will {sadly} close our file with our agency. If not we will look again at another country. If Russia changes or US adoption doesn't work out we will come back to it at a later time...when Nolan is older and we are able to handle all that comes with international adoption better. I feel ok with this decision and the worry about leaving Nolan while we travel is gone....the concern over how exactly we were going to pay for everything is gone. So while I am sad for Russia and sad for us and so very very sad for all the children I am hopeful that this will change and that everything will be ok. It's all I can be...hopeful. In the mean time I am trying not to picture a child or children or think about furniture or beds or who is sleeping where. I am trying to get my 14 month old a hair cut that is straight and to take a decent nap....or how my big boys need a wee bit more responsibility and maybe how we need a housekeeper (at least for a little while). And also help Jakeb get over strep throat and marvel that Gavin had the same symptoms but no fever and is better. That's my plan and that's what we are up to here. I will blog about Christmas soon...