ELEVEN.

Jakeb turned 11 a little over a week ago and I am still amazed that it is even possible that he is that old.  A few days later he lost his very last baby tooth and I am still in disbelief...but also when you lose your LAST baby tooth you get a little bit extra coin from the good ole' tooth fairy so that's awesome for Jakeb.
At Eleven Jakeb is just as amazing as he was the day he was born--I dare say 11 years more amazing.   He is our oldest and the one that made us parents.   He is helpful and thoughtful and considerate.   He amazes me every day with his eager and willingness to just be nice.   Sure he has his moments but overall he is a helpful sweet boy.
He loves his brothers with fierceness that melts me daily.  He is smart and creative and just a great kid.  His love for others and their feelings is one I envy.  His compassion to do the right thing and the good thing is beyond most his age...heck most MY age.   He is and always has been wise beyond his years.  He has a raging sweet tooth and can sniff out sugar better than an ant.  He is still a picky eater that eats eensy weensy bits of food but no longer balks at every meal in front of him.  At 11 Jakeb is just a wonderful boy we are enjoying watching him grow and change into the man he will become.  Happy Birthday Jakeb!

MIA

Still here...still doing our thing.  The house was in a bit of an upheaval for a couple weeks...we had a stomach bug make it's rounds about a month ago and then as that was on it's way out the door the boys had winter break.   Robert took the week off and the original plan was to be in TX for a training for our adoption...but as that is now off the books so to speak we had some free time and funds.   So we slapped some new floors down and are still in the process of trying to finish that up...the floors are down but the trim and paint and "little" things are still left to do.
The floors look wonderful...Robert did them himself and did an amazing job!  Took him all week but it got done!  We have had guests and baseball and busy-ness starting up with that.  
I am anxious for spring to get kicked into full gear...we had snow flurries this morning!  But I am ready for sunny days and green grass and trees.  My goal this season is to get grass growing in this blasted yard....we will see...I know it takes several seasons for it to look nice and full but I need grass!  
We are halfway thru with our foster care classes...we still have medicals and home visits to knock out and at this point we aren't in a huge rush, though it's hard not to be.  Nolan is a handful and still quite needy of me so taking our time with it is good.   Our county is in desperate need of foster/adopt parents so we likely won't be waiting long for a call.   We are both hesitant and excited about starting this venture...nervous about the many unknowns but excited as well.   I would prefer to be into summer before we are giving things a go officially.  Nolan will be 18 months and our days will be less busy with practices and school and homework and what not.  Of course the big boys will be home and my quiet times will be nonexistent!  Either way...time is good :)
Birthday's are coming around again too...Jakeb is fast approaching his 11th birthday!  Crazy.  Really just crazy.
Hope you have a great day...stay warm!

Nine.

This is the 2nd nine year old birthday I have written about on here and while I have had double birthday's discussed on here...9 is different.  The last year before double digits forever...officially into the "tweens" and moving right onto a big kid age.
Zachary's birthday was 2 weeks ago and I have promised myself I wouldn't write another post until this was addressed.   I wanted some time to give thought and reflection on my newest 9 year old boy.
Zachary is an amazing boy...this is obvious!  He is such an awesome kiddo...thoughtful, insightful, helpful and so very full of life.
At 9...Zachary is in the 3rd grade and very shy in front of new people, especially school people.  At home he is a bundle of energy and bouncing excitement.  He is a rule tester.  He is eager, so very eager to learn and to try new things.   His personality is just fun.  He is emotional but often quiet about his emotions and feelings.   On the flip side you know when he's angry and certainly know when he's happy.  He loves his brothers fiercely and think Nolan is the best thing ever.  Can't get enough of him or any baby and little one.  He loves to be helpful.  Loves cooking and helping me in the kitchen.
He is a wonderful student, rarely in trouble and almost always a very hard worker.  He loves his video games and in general any game...card games, video games, board games...he's game.   At 9 he is happy go lucky about most things...he is boy thru and thru...is starting his 2nd "official" season of baseball and is doing really well with it.  I can't believe my Zachario is 9 and fast approaching a decade of life.  Happy Birthday Zman!

Tuesday Twelve.

1. I am waiting on the guy to come by to give me a quote for cleaning the house.

2. I am also feeding Nolan some lunch. He just woke up from a good morning nap....he still is taking 2 naps a day most days. Our day runs a little smoother when he gets up early, it makes "scheduling" his nap time easier.

3. He slept pretty good last night...filling his belly with food may be the key to longer sleeps. This is hard because he isn't a very good eater.

4. Our new pup's name is Lucy and so far the house training is going ok...I am glad it's not freezing outside because the trips outside every 45 mim-an hour would be no fun for everyone!

5. She trots all over the house looking for things to attack...her 2 lb self is very ferocious.

6. Gavin took a peanut butter sandwich for lunch today ...this is huge. And a relief because fixing him lunches have always been frustrating!

7. Gavin was also writer of the month for 1st grade this past month. Awesome.

8. Zachary will be NINE next week. Nuts.

9. We are taking the boys to an indoor water park in TN for their birthdays...they are stoked.

10. We also need quotes on repairing damage we have to the back of the house (thank you previous owner..ugh)

11. The dogs barking outside would lead me to believe house cleaner guy is here...

12. Nolan's new word is Uummm and he will chat with me in baby. I ask questions and he jabbers back to me...cutest thing ever.

Quiet.

I think this is the least I have posted on here in a long time. For some reason I have had a slow start to this year...not slow in that I have caught up and am good to go. Rather just the opposite, it's dawned on me quite a bit recently that my feeling of overwhelming'ness is quite self induced. Aside from the obvious...we.have.4.kids.craziness....we are just a little chaotic around here. And rather than do what I dream in my head...I just continue to rotate the thoughts around in my head not actually DOING anything. So yeah...that's not much progress at all. I am all like go To-do list but never actually make one. My favorite is being all like hey boys you are going to do XYZ today..they grunt groan and grumble and then that's that...no XYZ is done and then yeah. Go team slacker!
So in a an attempt to "get my shit together"....I am going to do exactly that. This is kinda not that easy...one kid is a no brainer and while planning is needed the amount of planning isn't as much and on top of that the planning portion is just well easier (don't get me wrong I know that the one kid thing is tough...it's just different...one kid 10 kids it's all tough). And if it doesn't happen it's ok...no big dealz. However we are our a house of TWELVE living beings...that's not counting the rodents that I am sure are living in our attic...but there are TWELVE beings in this house that us 2 adults are to take care of. If you are counting that's 1 extra than last week....because if we weren't crazy enough we were all like hey I have a GENIUS idea lets get a puppy. Mmmhmm us? we did that...right so anyway.
When there are TWELVE breathing beings in a house there needs to be some organization or things start to get hairy (quite literally) and also things start to not happen and also it's just more chaos than needed friends. So my goal is to start getting real up in here about well the goals...like I dunno....for starters...I am totally getting a quote for a house cleaner like tomorrow. A giant check off my "OMG I CAN"T DO IT LIST BECAUSE NOLAN is DRINKING cleaner while I scrub the tub" So whew done and done. Also on the list? Meal lists and After school lists...both for the boys and for me...we need check lists and we need some rules on friends coming over and snacking and well just in general less chaos. It's gotten a little out of hand really....and maybe it hasn't but my take on it all is. Because trying to remember who has this test or has that and who has library books and Piano (for the love of god remember to practice piano) and also sheet washing and goodness is your head spinning? Mine sometimes does...like today trying to help Jakeb add fractions without common denominators--which I remember only bits and pieces off so thank god for YouTube--he was frustrated and near tears and all the sudden the realization that there were 5 kids and a puppy in the room where he was trying to do his work and they were loud and crazy and "OMG right now, give me that dog and all of you OUTSIDE instantly." And also wow, we need some better friends over after school rules. And then the dog was out and roaming around on her gimpy leg and Nolan needed a nap and Jakeb needed to be driven to a friends which rarely he gets to do so I couldn't say no but you go here and you go there and I will be right back and if that dog gets hit by a car I won't even shed a tear (yes, I totally would) because I am so mad at her right now. But at the end of the day dinner was made and was even good! And kids are clean and we even got piano practice in and homework and the house is disheveled but I needed that hot bath and a beer more than I needed to clean thank you very much.
People are always saying...we are crazy and/or I don't know how you do it. Well first off some days I feel a little crazy {today} and honestly barely do it. But also...I don't know any different. If I had one or 2 kids I would probably say the same things--but I don't and I don't know that life. I just know this one...and while it's working and some days are great and some days down right stink. I need it to run a little smoother. We can handle all of this because we can and we do because we want to. I try to imagine things being calmer and less hectic but I know if they were I would be looking for ways to fill it. Expanding outward filling all the cracks and crevices with every bit of life we can, it's what we do. Twisting and turning and just living. Lots and lots of living going on here.

And just some because I need to explain the puppy....this is I am sure sufficient....

Tuesday Twelve.

1. I told myself I would turn my light off at 10:30...it's 10:37 and I am starting this instead....10:30 really means 10:45.

2. I like these blog posts...they are quick and easy and don't require a lot of effort. Right now things like that are good for me.

3. I have started watching a neighbors little one...as in I started today. The morning started out a little hairy but the day ended quite well. Hoping tomorrow is even better....it's good for Nolan and I both to have some company.

4. The boys are really starting to do well with piano...Jakeb really seems to be enjoying it.

5. I signed Nolan and I up for a Kindermusik class on Friday mornings....it starts next week.

6. In just a few short weeks my Zachario is going to be 9...that's nuts.

7. Jakeb told me the other day I have a wrinkly old forehead...last night as I stared at my face in the mirror while getting a haircut I realized he is totally right.

8. All the sudden I FEEL older...I know 32 isn't old...but lately I feel older than 32...thank you exhaustion.

9. I think we are going to have to bite the bullet and get Gavin's tonsils out...they are massive and lately seem to be a constant issue. Ho hum...no fun. He isn't the best patient...

10. I have 2 minutes....

11. Clean sheets are the best...I am currently laying on nice soft clean sheets. Perfect.

12. Also so is a nice hot blanket from the dryer...snuggly warm.

....just scooted in under the clock! Night!

Merry Christmas!

This year Robert's parents came down and spent Christmas morning with us and we celebrated with my mom and stepdad 2 days before Christmas.  It worked out well but we were busy!!   

Cat scratch fever.

My mean ole' cat scratched me pretty good the other day...it hurts and he's not really mean but that was not nice. He was all like hey don't fold that laundry I am LAYING ON IT...so I snatched it out from under him and he was like biiiiittccchhh I said don't touch that, smack. So maybe it was my fault but whatever. Cats are cool just so you know...for all you cat haters. That's the first decent cat scratch I have had in years and we have 3 cats. So yeah.
When I was in 5th grade I thought I was the bees knees because I had one little ole nail that was long so I walked up to a girl and was like hey girl look at this long nail...isn't it sharp on your hand, haha. Then I moseyed on to my seat...10 seconds later she walks up to me grabs my hand and proceeds to scratch the top layer of my skin off with her 4 fingers. 23 years later I still have the scars to prove it and think it's a funny story...funny weird. Also funny because I remember standing in the hall listening to my teacher rip her a new one because hello...obvious. This girl is also a Facebook friend, unless she deleted me which is totally possible because I don't keep tabs on that stuff. So if the cat scratch scars too I guess it will match and maybe one day I will learn not to mess with folks...but totally overreacted....and I probably won't learn.
I feel like I perpetually have a million and ten things I want to do and some days I am like Oh.my.god. so much to do and some days I am like whatever man...who cares...everything is great. And really both of those days are needed...because without the freak out days I would never do a darn thing and without the whatevers I would need to be locked away. I am totally a list maker but totally a list maker who then loses or forgets the list...it is what it is because usually once I make the list I don't need it. My memory is cool like that. I could probably dial your phone number twice and know it forever and ever. Or at least for a long time. But I can't remember to bring a grocery list.
We hit up a foster care orientation this Monday. I feel good about it but at the same time very freak out too. I wish I had a crystal ball because I know an adoption will happen eventually it's just the eventually that makes me scared. And my boys being broken hearted when a baby we adore has to leave. I keep saying...we will just see what happens. My motto so very often is one foot in front of the other just keep moving...and this is no different. I am excited and nervous and excited and scared and excited and nervous....and also we have a bit to do before we are licensed. I also drove to the post office today and dropped in a letter saying we would like to close our file with our agency. This makes me sad but right now I can't sit in limbo and I just can't put the time and emotions into another country...after 2 that's it...for now. We will give this option a try, we shall see.
I promise I will get Christmas pictures up here...and also I need to get Nolan's one year pictures done. I would have preferred that they were done at 12 months but they weren't and that's ok. Here are a few random pictures for ya...the first are my new "boots" which I am excited about...A)I never buy myself nice things and B)I never myself "different" things...this makes me happy and also they are super cute. Nolan is cute in his $2 overalls and Robert taught Jakeb and Zachary leg wrestling...and also on the 2nd day of the year we took Jakeb's best friend 1/2 back to his house and stopped in at Ruby Falls.
and that's that...