Quiet.

I think this is the least I have posted on here in a long time. For some reason I have had a slow start to this year...not slow in that I have caught up and am good to go. Rather just the opposite, it's dawned on me quite a bit recently that my feeling of overwhelming'ness is quite self induced. Aside from the obvious...we.have.4.kids.craziness....we are just a little chaotic around here. And rather than do what I dream in my head...I just continue to rotate the thoughts around in my head not actually DOING anything. So yeah...that's not much progress at all. I am all like go To-do list but never actually make one. My favorite is being all like hey boys you are going to do XYZ today..they grunt groan and grumble and then that's that...no XYZ is done and then yeah. Go team slacker!
So in a an attempt to "get my shit together"....I am going to do exactly that. This is kinda not that easy...one kid is a no brainer and while planning is needed the amount of planning isn't as much and on top of that the planning portion is just well easier (don't get me wrong I know that the one kid thing is tough...it's just different...one kid 10 kids it's all tough). And if it doesn't happen it's ok...no big dealz. However we are our a house of TWELVE living beings...that's not counting the rodents that I am sure are living in our attic...but there are TWELVE beings in this house that us 2 adults are to take care of. If you are counting that's 1 extra than last week....because if we weren't crazy enough we were all like hey I have a GENIUS idea lets get a puppy. Mmmhmm us? we did that...right so anyway.
When there are TWELVE breathing beings in a house there needs to be some organization or things start to get hairy (quite literally) and also things start to not happen and also it's just more chaos than needed friends. So my goal is to start getting real up in here about well the goals...like I dunno....for starters...I am totally getting a quote for a house cleaner like tomorrow. A giant check off my "OMG I CAN"T DO IT LIST BECAUSE NOLAN is DRINKING cleaner while I scrub the tub" So whew done and done. Also on the list? Meal lists and After school lists...both for the boys and for me...we need check lists and we need some rules on friends coming over and snacking and well just in general less chaos. It's gotten a little out of hand really....and maybe it hasn't but my take on it all is. Because trying to remember who has this test or has that and who has library books and Piano (for the love of god remember to practice piano) and also sheet washing and goodness is your head spinning? Mine sometimes does...like today trying to help Jakeb add fractions without common denominators--which I remember only bits and pieces off so thank god for YouTube--he was frustrated and near tears and all the sudden the realization that there were 5 kids and a puppy in the room where he was trying to do his work and they were loud and crazy and "OMG right now, give me that dog and all of you OUTSIDE instantly." And also wow, we need some better friends over after school rules. And then the dog was out and roaming around on her gimpy leg and Nolan needed a nap and Jakeb needed to be driven to a friends which rarely he gets to do so I couldn't say no but you go here and you go there and I will be right back and if that dog gets hit by a car I won't even shed a tear (yes, I totally would) because I am so mad at her right now. But at the end of the day dinner was made and was even good! And kids are clean and we even got piano practice in and homework and the house is disheveled but I needed that hot bath and a beer more than I needed to clean thank you very much.
People are always saying...we are crazy and/or I don't know how you do it. Well first off some days I feel a little crazy {today} and honestly barely do it. But also...I don't know any different. If I had one or 2 kids I would probably say the same things--but I don't and I don't know that life. I just know this one...and while it's working and some days are great and some days down right stink. I need it to run a little smoother. We can handle all of this because we can and we do because we want to. I try to imagine things being calmer and less hectic but I know if they were I would be looking for ways to fill it. Expanding outward filling all the cracks and crevices with every bit of life we can, it's what we do. Twisting and turning and just living. Lots and lots of living going on here.

And just some because I need to explain the puppy....this is I am sure sufficient....